[Zero no hero]

Hey dude I feel your pain believe me. I am in the same situation with regards to the family situation the wife the kids etc. I read a lot of stories about single guys and girls who lose like the rest of us but somehow I think at least they are only hurting themselves more or less, ok there may be partners or Mam and Dad etc but it’s so much worse when you damage your kids as far as I am concerned. That guilt… there is nothing like it. I think of all the cash I have wasted over the past 15 yrs, cash that could have given my now grown daughter and son some family holidays for example but no that didn’t happen. Most we ever got was an odd weekend in some other part of the country not a 2 week spanish holiday like all their school mates got. Why well because I gambled away those dreams. The end result is my son is in his mid 20s now and my daughter is 19 and I have no relationship with either of them. I am still with my wife don.t ask me how she is an angel. But ain’t it so sad? My house is in deep debt and even though we are not in negative equity it will eventually be repossessed no doubt as we cannot afford the repayments. I only do sports betting so no casino or card games. I actually used to sneer at people losing their money that way , I mean at least I know my sport! Oh sure but it always ends the same way ALWAYS. You start again fresh careful staking, patient disciplined, you win slowly but consistently for a week maybe two or three, you think you cracked it then one little thing goes wrong, a team concedes a goal last minute ,a tennis player retires or whatever , you feel cheated, YOU PLACE A BET IN ANGER, then the red mist descends… you lose it all yet again and now you convince yourself that next time you will handle it better, but of course you are deluded. The remorse I feel about not being able to leave my kids an inheritance when I die. Nothing. The mark of a man as far as I am concerned is to be able to see his kids right when he is dead, I am not that man. I am not a man at all. Yea as I say dude I hear ya, hope you hear me too, we gotta stop this before it’s too late…even if in many ways it is too late we still gotta stop and try to do some kind of damage limitation.

[Zero no hero]

Thank you everyone I have calmed down. I had a small amount left and decided to go in again. I have worked on these mathematical systems for yrs off and on, they work over time and today they worked also for a time but just as soon as i have one or two losing system bets I fail to even stick it out for a day I cannot wait and that is my problem ,it is all our problem. Compulsiveness . I cannot go residential , it is just not possible, many reasons why not but no insurance so that’s the main one. Cannot pay obviously. Now at least I cannot bet as I am broke and in a way it feels good at least I can try to start new things..again.

A thought entered my head today I remember when I went to GA for a few session yrs ago that one person told a story about his own position. He had lost everything wife family house job the lot. What was really different about him though is that he freely admitted that he was ” in the know ” so to speak. Basically he had stable information, he came from a racing family, he made it clear that yes some racing is fixed (not nearly as many races as we all may think but still some) and when it is on its on.

He had made huge money at times , however he could never just stick to this information, he had to keep betting after the almost guaranteed winnings from the family he was part of. This person had every advantage, all he needed to do was bet on the races that were set up but yet he could not, he could not wait .

He said that If God himself came down and told him exactly how to do it, if God himself told him only bet on this or that but nothing else then he would still lose everything because he cannot control the urge to keep betting long after the money has been won. That is me too. It does not matter . I will lose , if I had the winning lotto numbers and kept betting I will lose. It is impossible to win when you are the way I am. I would do well to keep this in the front of my mind. Steev, Vera, I did it, and Paul GT . Thank you for your very helpful advice. Time to pick myself up…yet again.

[Zero no hero]

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[Zero no hero]

I can help you with your gut issues.  I went thru these problems for yrs and yrs, couldn’t swallow properly, regurgitating food sever heartburn hyper active tummy IBS you name it I had it , awful.  I tried the docs the cosultants  the meds and all the alternative treatments that I could find , none of it worked. None nothing.   However I am happy to report that I no longer suffer with any gut issues whatsoever . It has been 5 yrs now and counting.  Firstly you must understand what is causing it and in almost every single case with the exception perhaps of inherent or genetic disease the cause is INFLAMMATION . 

This is caused mainly by carbs and and not just from sugar, but from bread ,pasta , potatoes, even an excess of fruit and veg  believe it or not. 

To cut to the chase what you need is to adopt are 2 things the first is a KETOGENIC diet.  This means you are burning fat for fuel instead of glucose, google it, maybe join a facebook group and basically just try it, my symptoms eased within 2 days and all but disappeared within 10 days never to return.   I can tell you that if you were to try it you will be sorted, can’t hurt to try.  People immediately think “oh it’s too much meat and eggs etc , I react to those foods”  what they are missing though is that it is the combination of sugar and fat and not just the fat alone that is causing the reaction in your body.  Honestly try it.  What you need is an elimanation diet to begin with , cut out everything say except meat and eggs and see how you get on, I think you may ne shocked as to just how well you will feel, then re-introduce foods one at a time and see what is causing your flare ups. I would totally dith the chinese herbs etc, the body is trying to protect you from the toxins within these strong plants,  they are effective but  hugely Inflammatory.  Plants have a natural defence mechanism, just like us they don’e actually want to be eaten!  So in evolutionary terms it is because they do not wish to be over grazed in nature.  Obviously I am not saying don not eat any plants ever again but just see how you react as you place them back in your diet.  

The second phase of your recovery is to start intermittent fasting, yes that’s right it’s the dreaded F word.  Many people now realise how HUGELY beneficial fasting is for their entire wellbeing,  start at 16 hrs and increase slowly, paying attention to how you are feelingbut do not be scared as hunger comes in waves.   See when we fast we go into a process known as “autophagy”  (in latin it  literally means to eat thyself)   what is happening is your body is recyling the old  cells and putting them to work as such, it is a renewal process.  This combination of a Keto or just a low carb diet (strict elimiation at first though even for just 3 days) along with the fasting protocol will reset your body and even spirit (we all have read about fasting of Jesus , Mohommed etc ) I have fasted for upto 6 days and you just feel a deep sense of belonging ..of rejuvenation.  Remember also that since the dawn of man hundreds of thousands of years ago that food was not always available, think about this, only in the past centuries has food become abundant, up to that time people often fasted…not because they bloody well wanted to but because they had no choice in the matter !  Now we are talking over half a million years of evolution here, isn’t is logical that the body would adapt to these periods of scarcity?  Isn’t is also logical that the body has not really changed a whole lot over those milennia and yet here we are eating 3 square meals a day and loads of snacks for the first time in our long history?  The results of adopting these 2 regimes are astounding, there have been documented cases of a reversal in not only type 2 but even type 1 diabetes as an example along with many other diseases.  

Just thought I would chime in as you have helped me a lot with your advice on my own in my gambling journey and I would like to offer you my advice as I have become very wellversed in it’s numerous benefits.  All the best.  Jon.

PS here are some useful links,   also watch “The magic pill” on netflix, that is a real eye opener .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAmLDpTP18o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnyFVWwzgJI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w9dfYUD6-E

[Zero no hero]

Sorry for the late reply but I have just been so pre-occupied by not gambling ha!   I am 30 days GF and I really do feel the better of it.  I have done like you said and taken all the gambling rubbish off my phone like livescore and sky sports etc..  The truth is I feel awake for the first time in many yrs, not the false Aliveness that you get from a betting high but a much more grounded awakeness. 

I have not been tempted as such to go back but there were times when I would see a team down at half time and think “ye know what I am not going to bet but I am just curious as to how the result will turn out”  ….so anyway I just realised that this is still messing with my mind and over time it’ll always end up the same way, you think you are being clever but you are not, you are just being a CG.  Now I don’t even bother with that scenario because I recognoise it for what it is….a lure ,a trap to get me back in, no thanks .

2 weeks ago I had a decision to make at work, it was becoming a bit slack so I could stay a while longer but very likely be let go just before xmas or I could be brave and move on…the old me would have stayed. I took a risk ( a good gamble?)  and I applied and attained a new position in a new company… I have to travel a bit more but ye know what that is the best thing because now I am getting up early and I am so disciplined about it.  The money is better and day by day I am finding newer and more innovative ways to tackle my new tasks… I am loving it!  I had not realised how much of a rut I was in in my last job !  

My relationship with my wife has also improved dramatically, yes we still have our issues and she is not really helping herself but all I can do is work on my own recovery ye know?  That in and of itself means we are closer.  

Finally the most important change I have noticed within myself is the ability to take each step as it comes , one day one hour even one minute at a time.  I could NEVER do this while I was gambling, it was always a look to the future with dread ,  now I know my problems are still here but the difference is I can kick the can down the road for a bit and just concentrate  appreciate and just get through my day with gratitude.  This is an amazingly positive feeling, I am not a worrier anymore ha!  

That’s all for now but I will keep you all updated !

[Zero no hero]

Thank you again Steev and Monica,  I am sorry for the late reply but I have been really busy.. and that is a good thing. It has only been 8 days i think but I am still GF.  My relationship is still in a bad place however I really feel stronger in myself to be able to deal with her.  Monica you are right, I did post a response but later I panicked that she might see it (highly unlikely but that was my mind at the time confused and scared)  so i deleted it.  You are also correct when you identify that I am a co-dependent.  You ask what I am getting out of the relationship and quite honestly it is just comfort of a cosy home (for now more about that later) and to be brutally honest …sex.  

The good news is I have not gambled nor had even the slightest inclination to do so.  As I said before I have lost all belief that I can make a living or any extra money on the side .  That is huge for me.  In the past week I have performed better at work than I have done in a long time.  I can focus on my job. No distraction of looking at my phone for the latest odds.   It is such a liberating experience to have time to oneself and not be constantly thinking and acting out a gambling life.  Little things just minor things like cleaning my car which I hadnt done in months , organising my bedroom and wardrobe, cleaning out the garage and even starting to play my electric guitar again, I am keping busy, I feel like I am awakening from a long depressing and troubled slumber.  In the mornings I now feel like getting up early and facing the day, I just feel mentally strong , I am not ducking and diving anymore I am facing my problems head on with as much honesty and clarity as I can muster.  To that end I decided to put my foot down and take 200 euro weekly to help me enjoy my life. I have booked tickets to see one of my favourite bands in a few weeks in the UK.  I have spent money on going to the cinema solo as my wife will not come along so I just went on my own…and really enjoyed my own company for the first time in a long time.  She will not change right now but I certainly can and am actively doing so.  I used to constantly worry about the house being repoed, about not being able to leave any kind of legacy to my daughter, these things may still occur but I am working very productively now and who knows what may happen in the future anyway, I do not fret so much about it now, what I do realise however if that this is one of the biggest reasons that I persisted in my gambling, out of fear , I just kept digging myself deeper with the thoughts of the future, what a waste of time money..and life !   The fear is rapidly dissapating and the urge is not there anymore.  I am however very wary that it is early days but the feeling this time is definitely a different one.  

I do not know where my relationship is going to go but time will tell the tale on that score, right now life is good I am losing those guilty feelings which kept me gambling I feel like a new person and I refuse to beat myself up over the past as I cannot change it.  Sorry for the long post and once again many thanks.

[Zero no hero]

Well done on making that step, the longest journey starts with a single step remember.

[Zero no hero]

Thanks Steev for your message of encouragement.  It has helped me see one thing at least very clearly and that is that even when the sure thing does pay out of course all we do as CGs is continue and continue and lose and lose, so it really doesnt matter if Jesus Christ himself was to guarantee the bet it is still a spiral to God knows where.  We must make our minds up that there is no betting whatsoever,  I have made my mind up now that I will not gamble anymore.  That point you made has made me lose any belief I may have had in my mind about waiting for the right bet,  I now just do not believe I can win at it , I am a CG it is impossible.  I tried to do a lifetime ban but because I had chosen the 6 month option I cannot even log in anymore to amend it.  To be perfectly honest my interest in betting has been waning dramatically for over a year now,  I was fully convinced in the past I could be a Professional.  I have never been tempted by slots Poker casino games, heck I could go to las vegas and not gamble honestly I mean that.   I have zero interest in anything except sports betting and this is where I deluded myself that I had an edge, if I am honest I would think to myself that I had some chance to win but those who played games of chance as such had none,  ultimately my style of betting and every other style is still the same, we are all the same.  I have other reasons why I have gambled though, very deep seated reasons which I am not sure I can post on here..  I must also tell you that I only started gambling about 13 years ago when I hit 40.  Upto that point in my life I viewed people who gambled as total mugs..I was right !   I literally had no interest in betting so what happened.. a lot of stuff but as I said I am not sure if I can post here ,it is very hard for me to open up about the reasons why I begun and more importanly why I stuck at it when I knew I was causing a wave of destruction in my wake..  

[Zero no hero]

So tonight after the most god awful bad luck I ended up losing it all yet again. Good thing is I have self excluded for 6 months,could’nr quite press the lifetime button but at least 6 months is a start. See one thing I have realised completely now is that I have no control over this addiction. I mean there is an old gambling adage that goes along the lines of ” a good bet finds you…you never find it yourself” Now this is actually true in my experience. Sometimes you just “know” this bet is gonna win ye know?  Usually it does!   BUT  and here is the rub….that good bet doesn’t come along all that often and you spend the time thinking and deluding yourself that the next one can be it.  So the point I make is as compulsive gamblers we cannot wait for that bet we simply are compelled to keep betting.  It is a teribble affliction. It is a massive delusion.  I can look at the days sporting events and pick out good opportunities I suppose you can call them but as I am waiting for those events I am furiously betting on other stuff which I know nothing about, just gambling, it always ends up the same way ..every single time. Lose lose lose.  It is incredibly frustrating but as I said earlier I cannot control this, it controls me.  That all I feel I can write today . Iamso down in the dumps right now, I just wanna die if I am honest.  Anyway day 1 without gambling .

[Zero no hero]

Hello everybody. So in 2016 I had a pension and I blew it or half of it in a few weeks on betfair. This was when I joined up here and posted a few thoughts. I had my own systems and was convinced they would work, I just needed discipline and patients, but I don’t have those qualities in life so they could never have worked. I went away and tried and tried and tried some more, using my skills in sports betting . I went on good runs but always ended the same way. Everytime I would lose I convinced myself that a little tweak here or there would solve my problem and that I can make it pay long term. This has worn me right down. I live at home with my wife and daughter but I have ruined those relationships because of my insistence of gambling. See it’s been 14 yrs now on and off. I have vowed to stop. I closed my betfair account a year ago and showed my daughter the grand gesture, she didn’t buy it. She simply told her mam that I would find another place to bet eventually. She was right of course. To cut a very long and boring story short I now have convinced myself that I really just cannot make it pay. This is the first time in my gambling life that I can honestly say that I believe it 100%. Other times there has always been that lurking feeling that if I do this or that differently that i can make it work. Now I finally realise I am COMPULSIVE. It has taken lots of money time and pain to finally know this, yes I just KNOW this now. I KNOW I CANNOT WIN. I KNOW IT. Today feb 3rd 2019 is my last ever day of betting. I will not do it again .

[Zero no hero]

Automated reply, no help here! Time to load the revolver lol!

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