[hambone]

You need to get the idea you’re going to “get out of this” – that’s why you’re in this spot right? Trust me, I am over $100k in debt from chasing my losses. Like you, I had enough to get by, but it would kill me knowing I had debt, so when I got paid I’d blow my check that night trying to “get out of the hole”

Remember the feeling you felt when you wrote this first post. Get a spreadsheet out, chart out your debts and your credits and come up with a plan. Everytime you get the urge, remember that feeling.

Quit now, cut your losses, or this will continue to get worse u til you have nothing left. Trust me.

[hambone]

Final car payment scheduled for Monday. More bills scheduled to be paid next week. Head down and grinding.

[hambone]

Checking in again…

This time last year I essentially stole $15k from my wife, telling her I paid our van off while actually gambling it, paying off some loans I had taken off while continuing to make the monthly payment in secret.

In April 2019 I started a 2nd fulltime job, and didnt tell my wife. I do both jobs from home, and use all the extra income to pay off loans/cards/debts. In July, I started a third job, telling my wife about this. We use 100% of this income to pay off our student loans, with the hopes of having both of ours paid off in 1 year.

2 weeks ago, I took a 4th job and put my notice in for my original job (they were laying off people). I continued working the oldest job for a month (not doing much) to collect 2 more paychecks to put towards my debts.

Long story short; on 9/30/2019 my van will be paid off, it was $15k 3 months ago. I paid off 1 of my credit cards, and have one with a $5800 balance that will be paid off 10/15. All my debts are being paid on time, and my credit score is riding. I don’t even consider gambling anymore, I have my finances for the next few months all documented, so I can see exactly where I will be if I stay the course. I’m still paying about $3500 a month in loans/debts from my gambling life, but I take home about double that, so once I Get my cards and car paid off next month I will be able to make double payments and hopefully be out of this hole in a year max.

I realize I am fortunate in my job situation and a lot of people dont have these opportunities. If I didnt have extra jobs and a clear path out of debt, I would be gambling out of necessity. I encourage everyone out there to evaluate whether youre gambling for fun, for the rush, or because you see it as your only way out. I always felt like the only way I could pay my bills was to win money. I was over $100k in debt, what good does making small payments make? I need to win the money back! Unfortunately, thats what got me in this situation.

Sit down, make a plan how you can get where you need to be WITHOUT gambling, and stick to it.

Now, I get so excited looking at my spreadsheet and calling to schedule payments. I check my credit score almost daily. In March, it was 525. Now, its 626-661 depending where you look. Once my recent payments get reported to the credit bureaus, I hope to be close to 700 and finally able to obtain financing for a new van.

6 months ago, when I Was at my absolute bottom, I took out a $3000 payday advance loan. I’ve made the payments for 6 months, and yesterday they called me to tell me I was eligible for another loan. Previously, I would have been down there within minutes, but I told them no thank you, and hung up.

It’s hard to put into words how far I’ve come in the last few months. My last bet was around May 7th, with a 2 bet relapse on July 3rd. I don’t mean to brag or sound arrogant, I just dont have anyone in my life who knows about all of this, so this is where I can talk about how happy I am.

I wish you all the best.

[hambone]

I know how you feel. I spent the better part of the last 10 years gambling. I played huge stakes. I liked, cheated and stole to fund my addiction. It was all about the rush. Do you know what it felt like to win or lose $5000 while pushing my kids on the swing and no one knowing?

It’s been almost 3 months since I bet. At first, I had a REALLY hard time adjusting to life after gambling. I felt bored, nothing to give me the thrill. I kept reminding myself how sick I felt after each loss, how much I always used to tell myself I’d do anything to have this all go away. I put my energy into a second job. I mapped out all the debt I accrued over the years and have an Excel document with my plan. Whenever I feel sad or miss the rush, I check where I’m at and it reminds me to stay focused.

[hambone]

Which NF do you like, Alone or Wake up? Personally, these all speak to me in one form or another and really help me when I am struggling. Glad it helped you.

[hambone]

These are very helpful to me, anyone who needs some motivation should listen

[hambone]

Well, it depends how honest you want to be. You have a few options.

However, the one thing you must agree with is that you can’t gamble anymore. You will only make it worse.

You could totally hide it all, put the remaining money away to settle and debts and taxes, and keep the rest.

You could let your siblings know you got X amount of money and will divide it once the estate settled.

Or you could tell them everything.

I think the 2nd option is the best. If you go with option 1 it’s too risky you’ll continue this lie and end up losing it all, and then you’ll end up being in the hook and out of pocket for the estate.

Atleast options 2 and 3 require you to tell them something so you are accountable going forward and don’t lose more.

This isn’t a life sentence, and it’s not too late for you to cut your losses, you just need to come to grips with the fact you aren’t going to ever win it back and if you try, you’ll cause yourself more hardship

[hambone]

One more

[hambone]

The thing that really helps me is putting my pay and debits in an Excel document. Have the individual credits and debits as well as a running overall total. This let’s me see where my money’s going and really helps out things in perspective.

If you need help getting setup PM me and I’ll show you how to do it

[hambone]

That 4k is gone, forget it. It was never yours. Stop obsessing over it and quite while you’re ahead. I used to get paid $3500 USD at midnight and it would be gone before sun up. Even if I won some it would keep me from sleeping knowing it’s there.

Point is, it can and will get much worse. Remember how miserable you felt right after and use that for motivation not to gamble in the future

[hambone]

Got paid yesterday and it’s still sitting in my account, used it for things I need and that was it, before I’d have been up all night waiting for the direct deposit to hit so I could buy Bitcoin and gamble. There have been so many times I lost an entire paycheck before the sun came up on payday. That feeling, knowing is be getting phone calls for the next 2 weeks, was the worst ever. Begging the account reps at the betting sites for free bets, nowhere I want to ever be again.

I got an email last night from a betting site, they had credited me $25 for football season. I deleted it and moved on.

Next Friday is my bigger paycheck that goes towards the things I really need to pay off. I just need to keep things afloat for 20 days and I’ll have the car finally paid off.

Everyday seems so long, not because of a lack of gambling, I guess when you have a plan and see how long it’s going to take to dig yourself out of the hole, things take even longer

[hambone]

Just as a follow up, still going strong. I’m working 3 full-time jobs at the same time now, it’s extremely stressful and exhausting – I am starting a 4th on Tuesday. My plan is to quit one, but if I can drag it out for about a month and get 2 more paychecks I’ll have my car finally paid off and can focus on the 3 jobs. If all goes well, after September 20th my van will be paid for and I’ll be able to throw 3 monthly salaries at getting myself out of debt. My credit has jumped about 100 points, and I think with a 650 score and a large salary I can hopefully get approved for a new car once this one is paid for.

Last week my transmission died on the car. It was going to be $2800 to fix. Normally, I’d instantly think I needed to win the money – this time, I got out my spreadsheet, adjusted my upcoming bills and paid for it out of pocket when I got paid. It set me back about 10 days in my plan, but that’s life.

Life is good, I’m so busy I don’t think I could gamble. The fog that I was walking through has lifted and all the crazy stuff I used to do seems like a distant memory.

I wish you all the best, stay strong

[hambone]

Jen,

I am in the same boat as you. I’ve been gamble free about 3 months after almost destroying myself and family financially. What’s worked for me is scheduling ALL my bills to hit the same day as my direct deposit. I’ve got a spreadsheet with every paycheck and bill for the next 3 months. I have about $2100 extra every paycheck (working 2 jobs, 1 exclusively paying off debt I took on) and I have $2000 principal payments scheduled for my car already. Last year I got a bonus at work and took the $15k and told my wife I was paying off our car, but used it to gamble and catch up on loan payments I was falling behind on. Now, she got a new job and wants to trade in the van she thinks we own for a new car. So, I’ am paying $2000 extra twice a month and it will be paid off in about 8 weeks, then at least that lie will be fixed.

Anyways, my point is, find something else to do with your money. Exclude yourself. Close accounts Make it impossible to gamble, or as inconvenient as you can. Schedule bills. Put your money in an account you dont have access to. Open a checking account at a bank that isn’t in your city, cut the debit card up and stash your money there so you CANT access it impulsively.

As CG we’re very resourceful when it comes to gambling, we need to be as resourceful when helping ourselves.

[hambone]

Just think, even with all those things happening, your life is still so much better than when you were gambling. Stay strong, stay the course and be thankful for what you have.

[hambone]

You don’t sound capable of controlling yourself, and it isn’t fair to put that burden on your partner. You need to remove the option to gamble completely. Self exclude where ever you’re gambling. Give up financial control. Give access to your accounts to your partner, leave yourself an allowance. Dont rely on yourself or your partner to stop you from gambling, make it impossible for you to gamble.

I promise, once you stop for awhile, your brain will slowly heal and it will get easier. Eventually, you will look back and wont believe you lived like this.

[Author]

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