[vintagehoby]

We have self exlusion here but you can deactivate it any time,it is really stupid,im trying my best to not think about it but whenever i see a casino sign on my phone i jist cant ressist it.I can just keep trying to be on a good way.We will see how it goes.

[vintagehoby]

Thanks for your support and kind words,im trying my best to keep it away,but somehow this urge takes over,im trying to read book and watch movies just keep my mind away from thinking about slots.How is your life going,did anythig change?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by vintagehoby.

[vintagehoby]

Hey Berta,we are all here for the hope,kind words and someone to read our story,i will do the same.Il post when ever i fail with my rehab and i will try again.
Wish you all the best on this road.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by vintagehoby.

[vintagehoby]

Hey,its good that you wrote here,you will realize that there is a lot people like you,myself included.I think gambilng is the worst legal thing thats happening right now.It is advertised and promoted everywhere.Dont be ashamed of yourself,we are humans after all.Iv been in this cirlce for more than 2 years now,it has truly been a hell for me,as you said,there are much better things in life to do and be happy about.Hope you will feel better while you are here,after all we are here to help each other with words and give a portion of hope that we will beat this one day.

[vintagehoby]

I i dont know if i have deppresion,but probably i do,really dont know.Since my father died nothing was the same.I was trying to do my best in life,to make him proud upstairs.But since that day i was never truly happy,he was not there when i bought my first car,when i invented in our house from money that i earned abroad,really thats a big whole that probably never will be filled.Im really sad that you have to go through this,its good that you cried,its the best way to let the bad thoughts out.I sure cant imagine what are you going through,iv never been drug addict,i v been using marijuana for some period of time but that was long ago.I just feel you when you write in these posts,you seem like a honest and caring person.Dont let anyone bring you down,you deserve to have happy life and there is always a chance.Keep your head up,sun will shine again.

[vintagehoby]

Hey,im glad that you told your family about the problem,it was probably hardest thing to do,right?
After all,they will be always there to help you and love you.My mother was telling me the same thing my whole life,you cant have 10 true friends in your life,your family,or parents to be exact are the ones who will love you and do whatever is needed to help you.Others will turn their backs to you eventualy.I still didnt tell my brother and my mom about my problem.Im waiting for job to be availabe abroad and to leave for period of one year.I have some debts to,portion of that debts are because pf gambling,but i hope i will find a way to pay it back.
Im proud of you because you won battle against alchohol and drugs,thats not an easy thing,keep your head up,that means that you are mentaly strong now.You dont need booze or drugs to get out pf the problem.

[vintagehoby]

I think biggest step that has to be done is telling your partner and your family that you are gambler.It is most difficult thing for me and i suppose it is the same for you.Iv been fighting this disease 2 years now,and when i remmeber the times before i was gambler i get some hope and strenght that i can fight it and eventualy win.We are all here to support eachother,so be open about yourself,it will make your mindstate better.

[vintagehoby]

Hey,i ve been away couple of days,i relapsed again 3 days ago and i was not able to write here because i felt ashamed.I really dont have words to explain how i feel right now.Hope i will find strenght again and move on.
In my opinion,maybe is better to be alone for some time,because all the people will just judge you and say that only thing you need to do is stop.To be honest i feel better not telling anyone expect my best friend who was addict also.Im glad that you found your way,keep haters and negativw people away,and jist keep that goal in your head.
Im proud of you.You inspired me ❤️

[vintagehoby]

From where i come from people are very conservative about this.I mean,of course i think its better to admit it to your family and partner but its very though thing to do for me.In my case money just isnt important anymore.I just say,il try my hardest to stop because i want to do it.Wish you the same.

[vintagehoby]

I feel you,there is something thats telling you to stop but you just cant.Indeed its like angel and deamon fighting eachother.I said it many times,i really cant believe how much i changed since i started with gambling.I literaly had a moments like,when im not playing my right hand starts shaking for no reason and there is just this urge to play,to get this dopamine through gambling.I never went to any meetings,this is the first time im telling someone about my problem,really nobody knows about it,and im scared as hell to admit it but i feel that at some point time will come to admit it to my girfriend because i really cannot lie anymore.I have mood swings all the time,and when she asks me why im sad,i just say that i have problem on work or some stupid shit.
Coming here really helped me because as you said we are not alone and it makes this recovery slightly better,but at the end we need to do it ourselves.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by vintagehoby.

[vintagehoby]

Exactly,its all big lie and illusion,im just amazed how its promoted everywhere,on instagram,celebrities are advertising it on instagram and making it look like its something good.And many young people i know are victims of it,its all pretty sad
Lets keep it positive mate,we will get out of this!

[vintagehoby]

Yes i mean exactly that,when i started gambling, winning meant something,later it was just for filling the urge.And i think that is the biggest problem of ours.We need to have that fix otherwise we will feel emtpy and life will not have any purpose.It should not be like that,we have families,a lot of other things that this world offers we can enjoy in a nicer way.If you ever feel need to talk personaly send me a message and we can talk,maybe will benefit for both of us.

[vintagehoby]

I understand,i had period of time when i was losing insane amounts of money.But interesting thing is i feel like that even winning right now isnt filling this void inside me,i dont know if you feel the same way?
I try to play some video games in my free time,watch some movie also i like to work on my car,everything that keeps my mind away from thinking about gambling.
If its not too personal,do you have some ocupation,like unevrsity,job or something else?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by vintagehoby.

[vintagehoby]

Hello there,thanks for your care and nice words,i relapsed yesterday and lost some 200 euros in matter of minutes,i felt urge to go to atm and deposit more money but somehow i did not.
I went home and had nervous breakdown,all those thoughta were up in my head,everything i did up until now.Why did i start it,will i ever stop.I was feeling really bad and i didnt even return call to my gf.I really dont know much about these chemicals in our brain,i read something about it but still is a mistery to me to be honest.
When was the last time you gambled,and what are your ways of surpressing the urge?

[vintagehoby]

Thank you for your response,it helps when you realize that you are not alone.
Well this is only addiction i ever had,i dont use drugs nor alcohol and i dont really know how to cope with it.Some unfortunate things happened in my life that may led to this,maybe i was looking for escape,i really dont know.
Thanks once more for your kind words.
Much love <3

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