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Great poems, Shaun
Now that we know what gambling does to us, let’s kiss it goodbye and walk awayToday will be a non gambling day
just for today, no gambling!
All the best KStep
You deserve a great gamble free life.
Well done on taking this opportunity.You, Shaun and Kev will become life long buddies.
Focus on the therapy one day at a time
and
KEEP IT SIMPLE!
Au revoir!First week of August almost over.
No gambling today.Seventy days now Mav, since we have turned midnight.
I often think my life is worse since I stopped gambling, but I guess we see the flaws more clearly when we take off the gambling blinkers.
Gambling masks reality.
Reality can be painful without the crutch.
Keep going Maverick.
Gambling makes every thing worse.
We all know that so why repeat the same madness. We get enough knocks without inviting more.
Keep it simple.HI CB,
You don’t have to fill up his car or give him pocket money.
Can he walk? Or ride a bike?
By filling his car you are enabling him to gamble.
If my husband had used tough love instead of taking the easy option (giving in to my demands after I had lost my salary every month)I would not have ended up with a 6 figure debt.
Why would you enable your husband to destroy himself?
Of course none of this is your fault but I strongly believe that enablers should be told that they are doing a huge disservice to their nearest and dearest.
Yes, he will go elsewhere for the money, but friends will soon get the message when the debt builds up.
It sounds cruel, but if he doesn’t contribute to the household bills, he needs to feel the consequences. You can’t take his money. You can’t stop him gambling, but you certainly can make his life uncomfortable to the point where he will need to question the sanity of throwing 600 away in a few hours.
Keep the communication open.If a CG tells you she lost two hundred, you can add a zero to it!
Who gave her the money to gamble?
CGs seldom leave after 45 mins.
Not saying she’s lyin, just sayin!!!Sometimes, I -did-it, CGs get impatient when we don’t see instant progress. We can’t expect to see any improvement unless we push ourselves in the right direction. It’s like swimming against the tide sometimes but if we want to survive we have to stop threading water and push ourselves forward.
In my experience , it is only when I suffer enough that I will do something to relieve the suffering.
There is a big difference between “relief” and a “cure”.
Relief, for me when I was enabled to gamble further i.e. by getting loans and by finding enablers.
As soon as the rug was pulled from under my feet, everything changed.
Mind you, I had to kick that rug from under my own feet at times by “coming clean”.
“Relief” is comforting.
A “cure” is painful.
No pain, no gain!
When we realize that we are powerless over gambling, the urges subside.
The only thing that keeps a gambler in action, is the false belief that there is something to be gained by gambling.
That’s my twopence worth for today.
I fooled myself and made excuses for years.
Stop looking for easy options. They don’t exist!Just for today, I will choose not to gamble.
1. CGs (Compulsive Gamblers) cannot handle money. It always follows what we have already lost.
2. A CG has to agree to have finances “handled” by spouse/partner. Otherwise there will be constant arguments.
Gambling arguments are very draining. Better just stick to an action plan.
Words mean nothing to a CG in the “active phase”.
Keep postingNo gambling planned for today.
Day out arranged instead, ‘cos recovery is not only about not gambling….Great to read your “Plan”!
Growing the beard could be a symbol of gaining wisdom! LOL!
I would suggest adding “Keep it simple”to your list.
Well done on your preparation.I have been following your thread Mr Exon, but refrained from commenting until now.
When we “cross the line” in any area , we suffer the consequences, Gambling has been my downfall and from what you write it seems to have affected your life too. I crossed the line many times , not only in relation to gambling but in other areas too.
All our actions have consequences and as we move forward in life we have to live with these consequences. When you are young, others will pick up the tab for you but believe you me, that doesn’t last forever.
When the rug is whipped from under our feel, we hit the ground hard! Watch this space…..
In recovery, we need to look at the wider picture. Take stock of all aspects of our lives. Gambling is only a symptom of deeper problems. We need boundaries to mould us into decent responsible adults from irresponsible immature CGs
This is what the 12 Step Programme does.
It sets us on a path to a different life.
When boundaries are fudged, respect for others diminishes.
When we loose respect we try to become “masters of our own destiny”.
If you open your ears at a GA meeting these messages resound when members talk about restoring trust, regaining respect and living a simple life, according to the 12 Step Programme, one day at a time. All this takes time and effort. Recovery doesn’t fall from the sky.
Hopefully, you will learn how to live an alternative lifestyle when you immerse yourself in the 14 Week Programme you have enlisted for. In the run up to your “admission”I suggest you do a bit of serious reflection in preparation for what will be a difficult task. ( perhaps you could take a look at kSteps plan-he has good ideas).
If you commence the programme with fixed ideas, blurred vision and insecure boundaries if will be more difficult for you. As Abraham Lincoln said “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail”!
I wish you all the best in recovery.
I can see a lot of anger coming fro your parents. I can relate to that!
We all need to WAKE UP!!Just for today
I
will
not
gamble