[tonyj]

Hi dave086

Just to add onto what mark has said, Gordon moody are a charity so everything is covered in that sense, when you get there you will apply for housing benefit to cover your room, and you will (if you haven’t already done so) apply for ESA which will give you money in your pocket/budget for your essentials during the week,
Anything else your worries about just ask
Tony

[tonyj]

Hi Dajakesta

It’s great that you have started well,,

I really don’t like the thought of you watching other people playing….. it is a way the gambling addiction entice’s you back in. you need to admit that you can no longer watch or play ANY form of gambling,

I did the same as you and thought after 18 months of abstinence from gambling I could just watch poker and thought it was harmless, it allowed me to think I wasn’t playing so what’s the harm ?
but the thing I done without realising was allow gambling to be a part of my life again, it eventually led me to place a bet which in turn led to another and another and another ( the truth is I couldn’t win if I won I wanted to win more, if I lost I wanted to win back my losses) til I was back into full blown gambling like I had never stopped and eventually lost my business,

If I am serious at stopping I need to stay away from any form of gambling be it watching people on a fruit machine in a pub, watching tournaments on line or even playing with odds and fantasies in my head,,,, I suggest you do the same otherwise it will lead back to somewhere you really don’t want to go and you always sink to new levels, believe me your young and don’t want to take your life there. stop now whilst you have control and take that decision

good luck dude, I wish you well

[tonyj]

Hey
Thanks for your post and it made good reading, It’s good that you sound like you have a lot of motivation and you want to stop and I wish you the best of luck.
Just a quick point I would like to make;
You said “I should probably terminate my Neteller and Skrill accounts but decided to leave them, will use them in future not necessarily to gamble but to do online shopping etc”
As you said you probably should close them so you know yourself it would be a good idea, I think you need to close every door which helped/led you to gamble and With this in mind I would close them. It might be a bit of an inconvenience if you use these accounts for shopping but it will be an even bigger inconvenience if it helps you gamble.

Good luck
Tony

[tonyj]

sorry janey I read your post but forgot to thank you,

I have spoken with Amy and have a bed for this Tuesday !
Still concerned about not seeing my daughter for 3 months but the pro’s definitely our weigh the con’s

Thanks for your response !

[tonyj]

hey courage

I’ve been hoping you would have joined the last chat so we could talk

Your not totally useless at this life you are totally useless at gambling,,, we all are.
your down and by the sounds of it at your lowest, you need to pick yourself up man, brush yourself off and start again.
We’ve all been there, but your here, your seeking help your going to GA, don’t beat yourself up too much dude, you can do this, but it won’t be easy you need to fight get that old spirit inside you,

How did you gamble today ? on the internet ? ban yourself,, NOW
at the bookies ? – go to sainsburys get your mug shot taken and take it to the bookies and say you want to self exclude FOR LIFE, DO IT FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING

YOU CAN DO IT just have a little belief in yourself

before you go and sort all your shit out and help yourself take a good look in the mirror and tell yourself out loud,
Just for today I will not gamble
Keep the faith

[tonyj]

Sorry for it being so long, I didn’t realize I had written that much !

[tonyj]

Well done for reaching day 25 !

In answer to your statement/question
“I feel a very similar buzz from hard work so maybe not a bad thing?”
I think this is worrying, This is what I meant in you are replacing one addiction with another and not getting to the root cause, so although you are trying to put things right by working and earning extra money (which can’t be a bad thing) you are only feeding the void left by gambling/buzz and not getting to the root problem, and only filling the hole of gambling and for how long ?
Please don’t think I am trying to be problematic, everyone who reads this post can see how hard your trying and you are doing the right things, I personally think that you don’t want to be gaining that buzz from other places like work but trying to suppress those feelings.
You can try and put everything into your work but if you gamble again you will be back to square one and maybe lose everything you have earned in the last 100 days, whilst not really learning anything about yourself
But
If you put that time which you always found to gamble (and are now filling with work) into actually trying to
suppress the gambling then you will have a much better chance of refraining from gambling and understanding why you gamble.
Cold turkey is so far serving you well I just think adding more weapons to your armour will help you fight against this addiction,
Do you or have you ever been to G.A ? have you ever sought counselling ? would it be something you would entertain ?

The reason I say this
I was going to G.A and doing well I put my all into it and was reaping the rewards of not gambling and making myself stronger at the same time.
Then last year I started up a removal business, it went amazingly well and was instantly making profit, within 8 months I had 10 people working for me. I had put my heart and soul to get it where it was, working all hours of the day and night, with working all these hours I had less time for myself and with that meant I had less time for my recovery (although I thought I had beaten the addiction) so I had more less stopped going,
As the stress built up of working all the hours coupled with more money in my pocket, the time lapse between me not working on my recovery and not going to my meetings,,,,, all this led me to a relapse, and losing everything I had built whilst letting people down on the way,
Although I have tried many times of chucking myself into work it hasn’t fill that void yet of gambling yet.
This is why I have came to the conclusion that I need real help and by getting that I will have to put my recovery before anything else, let’s face it we’ve been doing it for years with our gambling.

I think everyone has a different way of dealing/fighting with the addiction and I am not saying that what I am saying is right, It is just my views but it is coming from someone who has tried alot of ways to beat the addiction and has picked up little tips on the way.

Speak soon and hope you have had a good day

[tonyj]

Firstly well done – loving your posts

I just want to warn you that you need to be fully on guard, I have recently done 18 months of being gamble free and like you threw myself into my work and hated the bookies with a passion, although this was good, looking back I feel I was replacing my gambling addiction with a working addiction thus not dealing with my addictive personality, in the end I am back to square one as inevitably that one gamble led to multiple gambles and hitting the self destruct button,
all I am saying is be aware and give yourself some time and reward yourself for the progress you are making, it isn’t a race as you will always have the urge to gamble, as time goes on your mind will play tricks on you telling you you are stronger and may be able to have that gamble and not be addicted like you was before,
one day at a time, one thing that helped me was to look in the mirror every morning and tell myself out load just for today I will not gamble
keep up the good work and will look forward to reading your progress

[tonyj]

Hi
I have a question regarding the residential setting, I have applied for a place at one of the houses, it is in the early stages and waiting for a phone interview, the question I have is,
I have a daughter which although I don’t live with her I see and talk to every week, I am a bit concerned that if I did get a place I wouldn’t be able to talk/have contact with her, could anyone help answer what the protocol is once you are a resident ? I think I read somewhere that you can’t take mobile phones ? if this is the case are you allowed to make contact /phone/visit with family ?
Many Thanks in advance
Tony

[tonyj]

Hi Ray

I have read all your posts and have taken a lot from them, there has also been some good feed back from theone,
I just wanted to to share one bit of my past,
I am a compulsive gambler, I have been for years, and like you have found it hard to let go and wipe out the losses, the one thing I have learned from my time is, as a compulsive gambler you can never win enough,If you lose you want to win back your losses but in the same hand If you win you just want to win more, this is how this illness grabs you.

I once won £111,056 (to be precise !) out of pure luck on the national lottery, at the time this would have bought me 2 houses, and set me up for life, Instead as you can imagine I slowly dwindled the money through gambling telling myself I can play rationally and a little here or there will be alright,

The point I am trying to make is no matter how much you play with whether it be £1 or £100,000 you will still want to place that bet and you will chase the loss or the win, but in the end the ‘house’ wins and you will always lose, thankfully your not in debt and you have a good career ahead of you but if you don’t let go of that loss you could end up years down the line with a much bigger loss, isolating yourself from those who love you and the demons of that gamble taking more than just finances,
This illness has no boundaries, I have met lawyers, police officers, doctors, teachers, all who have had issues with losing the money they lost and whilst trying to win back the losses they have lost more money whilst also losing family, friends, businesses, pride and self worth, is that 40k you lost really worth losing the most dearest to you ?
By the sounds of it you are on the right course, payday is going to be a big one for you but arm yourself with as many tools as possible any would strongly advise you to tell someone close, a problem shared really is a problem halved,

Good luck and stay strong

[Author]

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