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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)
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  • in reply to: Its time #46546
    Tango74
    Participant

    That’s an awesome tagline Craig! Good to hear you are making the wholesome choices.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44537
    Tango74
    Participant

    Busy day of assorted work on the house – painting, cleaning, hedge-cutting. You know it all happens here! I was in town as I went shopping, I needed to pay money into the bank and I knew however I walked it, I would pass at least 2 bookmakers. In the window of the first, I thought I saw a sign which said, “Bet £10, get £20”, I walked on by but knew that when I walked back from the bank I’d see it again. I did and I even stopped to read it. It was actually £2, not £20. What would I have done if it was the latter? I don’t honestly know. I hope I would have continued by journey on, but I really don’y know. It’s immaterial, but it just shows the lure is still very much there (and don’t the bookies know it!)

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44536
    Tango74
    Participant

    Thanks to i-d-i for the confirmation that I am getting it right at the moment. I do feel very good. My other half is going away tonight and won’t be back until Sunday evening, so the “pocket money” has come out and I now have £200 in cash in my hand. Now, the previous me would have been working out what devious ways I could divert a few quid here and there so I could gamble.

    I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel a little uneasy with that amount of ready cash, but actually I think perhaps that’s a good way to be, because it’s keeping me on my toes and aware of my previous predilection.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44534
    Tango74
    Participant

    Hello diary, me again! Nothing much to report, still making the right decisions, at the moment .I know that might sound a little negative, but past experiences suggest caution. Money spent on car insurance, but where was then the, oh well, there’s £30 left over, I could just use that for a bit of “fun”. It wasn’t a hugely prominent thought, but it was there and there was ever such a slight waiver on my part, but instead of following the gambler’s dream of what I’d do with the money, I retold the story of the misery and betrayal it would cause.

    in reply to: Its time #46541
    Tango74
    Participant

    Hi Craig!

    To echo the comments of i-d-i and Charles, well done on getting this stage. As the orange GA book says, you have admitted you are powerless over gambling. Knowing this, we all need to do what we can to never have that “first bet” again. The blocks are the practical mechanisms by which you can give yourself breathing space and hopefully negate any negative thoughts or actions. They make it difficult, but not impossible, for you to gamble. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. The fine art is ridding yourself of that will.

    Personally, I am feeling very positive about my current recovery and at the moment I don’t even have a will to gamble, but I know how that can change over time.

    Not meaning to sound negative, because no-one wants to hear about someone who has relapsed, but if you do slip up, the most important thing to do is acknowledge it, learn from it and get back to dealing with the issue as soon as possible.

    It sounds like you and taking action to ring-fince your finances, which is great. If you are open and honest you will find a lot of love both inside and outside of this forum and a willingness and desire to help you.

    All the best, Tango.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44533
    Tango74
    Participant

    It’s Day 15 today and the start of week three. Stupidly busy at work today, but all actually productive rather than simply chasing my tail, so will accenuate the positive! Everything seems good right now even with a little bit of money in the bank and cash in my hand, I just can’t be bothered to gamble at the moment.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44532
    Tango74
    Participant

    That really means a lot. I am enjoying knuckling down to the cycling far more than I expected. I always felt is was going to feel like a chore.

    I too was almost perplexed by the paradox in my life, always memorising the prices of fuel at the various service stations I passed to remember where to buy the cheapest, buying a cheap set of clippers so I never again had to ‘waste’ gambling money on a haircut. The list goes on …

    Anyway, the money is now saved for better things for the family. I have also started back on doing online surveys and in 2 weeks have already amassed £30 in Amazon vouchers, if I keep going at that rate, it should pay for quite a bit of Christmas shopping!

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44530
    Tango74
    Participant

    Still got on my bike yesterday, but didn’t exactly make healthy eating choices with my Bacon Double XL burger, but hey, I reckon the 70k+ I’ve done this week covers that!

    Two weeks of gambling free time approaching fast. Still money sitting in my account too, albeit not a lot, but it’s more symbolic than anything else. I’d normally bet down to my last penny, so having anything above the minimum deposit at the bookies in my account is a success.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44529
    Tango74
    Participant

    Another sport-filled Saturday, but with no gambling. I have my fantasy Premier League and F1 to keep me interested though, it’s not quite the same thing, but it’ll have to do. Yes, despite all it has done to me, at this moment in time, I would still love to have a sports bet. I know that sounds crazy, but I need to be honest with myself. I have no intention of having that sports bet, because I know where it had led so many times before, but I would be lying if I said I never WANT to gamble again, because I do . However, equally I KNOW I must not. Maybe in time I will actually not want to gamble, but for now it’s there, not exactly a craving, that’s a bit too full on, more a desire. But at least it doesn’t feel like a NEED!

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44528
    Tango74
    Participant

    Lovely to hear from you Vera. It’s Day 12 today and all is well. Was knocked a little off keel by something quite small, but, to me very annoying, in that my wife threw away some food which whilst being past its ‘best before’ date, was still perfectly edible. It just really annoyed me and I could feel the anger building up and I couldn’t release it by throwing myself into the dream world of the compulsive gambler, so took to the exercise bike instead … and clocked up a personal best!

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44526
    Tango74
    Participant

    Found myself at a bit of a loose end this morning as having spent 90 minutes going nowhere and knowing I had at least the same about of traveling time ahead, I quit going into the office. Normally having turned around to drive back home, I would have probably decided to stop off in the bookies and waste whatever cash I had on me, but not this time, stopped to pick up some fizzy water, sausage rolls, sponge scourers and more light blubs (the last lot I bought where the wrong type) in the supermarket – don’t say I don’t know how to live!

    Gave myself a little pat on the back for that decision, it would have been oh so easy to have rolled back into the old ways. Feeling good!

    in reply to: My Journal #44760
    Tango74
    Participant

    Hi Nick,

    In a world where we are subjected to fake news at every turn, it is useful to surround yourself with facts sometimes. I don’t dispute your findings, far from it. It illustrates the futility of what we do, although as i-d-i said, even if the odds weren’t so completely stacked against us, as CGs, we’d end up losing it all eventually.

    Your plan to produce and stick to a budget sounds like a great idea. When I have looked at things in the cold light of day without any gambling going on, I was staggered at how little I actually needed to spend to exist. It’s like a real life version of those “Eat/Live Well for Less” programmes on the telly!

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44523
    Tango74
    Participant

    Not all of the money I had in my account is left, but not because of gambling. Just buying stuff – light bulbs, shower gel, breakfast cereal. The usual stuff, the stuff ordinary people do without thinking. Amazingly for me, that’s still a big deal, it’s like I was about 12! And, previously once I had done something ‘normal’, I would ‘reward’ myself with a gamble. Sound familiar? What ludicrous and crazy thinking, but a CG rationalises that at the drop of a hat.

    They say the first bet is the one to avoid and I’d like to keep it that way.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44522
    Tango74
    Participant

    Today is the first day where there’s some money in my account. I am pretty certain I would have been online and already have placed a bet had I not closed down the last remaining 2 accounts I had opened. I know a lot of people have said Gamstop is pretty easy to get round, but thankfully, when I tried (not in the last 9 day I hasten to add) I was not able to, and I am thankful for that.

    So, for me, this is where it really starts, can I appropriate funds to where they need to go and not spend them with the bookies? At this moment in time I feel fine about having the money there (it’s only about £130 anyway) but I know that I can get complacent. Just got to take each day as it comes.

    in reply to: And they’re off … #44521
    Tango74
    Participant

    * based on the average male life expectancy in the UK.

    Don’t worry, I know it’s just ‘one day at a time’, and the figure to firmly tongue-in-cheek, but it is also a reality if I really want a healthy life.

    This last week has been fairly easy due to lack of funds. In fact it’s probably no different in outcome to somewhere between 3-4 weeks of every month, depending on how quickly I blow it. The difference is the mindset, as well as an “I can’t gamble”, there’s an “I don’t want to gamble”.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)