[SuperstarDJ]

Thank you for the message. I keep thinking about your comment “we have to do what we say we are going to do“ – it’s a good mantra. I have said I will stop going into the bookies and I have stuck to that for a whole week now. No point going in there as I don’t gamble. Hope you are having success in your journey.

[SuperstarDJ]

I like the thought of “crushing” thoughts like that. I think that’s what I did by not even looking at the racing results yesterday. And crushed further by deleting the app. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Been thinking a lot about the advice about becoming a non gambler. It’s valuable. Yesterday I found myself thinking about the racing results and I opened my usual app. However non gamblers don’t even look at results so I stopped myself and closed the app. I have just deleted it off my phone. Non gamblers don’t go into bookies (last time was day 7), they don’t watch racing (last time was day 11), they don’t look at odds (not for a few days) etc. Picked up daughter’s school uniform today and was proud of myself for sticking to what I started two weeks ago. But not complacent.

[SuperstarDJ]

Very busy with work again today, flying abroad. No time to gamble or think about gambling. Feeling good about almost reaching two weeks. Longest clean stretch for about 10 years. Feeling positive. It’s so good not having disturbed sleep due to having an American sports bet running overnight.

[SuperstarDJ]

Hearing your point loud and clear. Thank you for your comments. They are very helpful. Non gamblers don’t go into the bookies ever – I haven’t been in since Thursday last week. They also don’t watch Sky Racing, I agree. So that’s another thing to stop immediately (haven’t watched anything today). I’m going to think about what else gamblers do that non gamblers don’t. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Keeping busy. No going into bookies. Did put horse racing channel on TV yesterday and convinced myself that a favourite would be beaten, which it was of course, but I didn’t bet. I will not let my brain trick me into thinking that I can make money from gambling. I am a useless gambler, I lost so much money when I was gambling, and all it does is destroy my life. So no more. Never again!

[SuperstarDJ]

Will be very busy at work today which is GOOD. I’m starting the week feeling really positive. Also remembering that I have failed at this on multiple occasions over the past 20 years so I am not letting my guard drop. I need to remember that it feels SO good NOT to gamble. It isn’t the other way around. I am such a better person when not being secretive / up and down through this awful addiction.

[SuperstarDJ]

Big family birthday today so have been completely focused on that. No urges to speak of. Staying busy is SO important for me. It is when I am bored, trying to avoid stress or avoiding confrontation that I gamble. Nothing like that today. Must not go into a bookies, and as I have no on line accounts anywhere my barriers are strong. Going to do this. This time will be different.

[SuperstarDJ]

Thanks for your message. It is great to know someone is reading my entries and that they are helping. If I can do this you can too. Looking forward to reading your journal when you are ready. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Very good day yesterday. No urges at all. No silly sitting in the bookies for no reason whatsoever. Family day today as it is the weekend. Feeling really positive. But not counting any chickens either. All I know is that I really really really never want another Day 1. The highs from gambling are nothing compared to the awful feelings of regret and letting everyone down when I used to bet.

[SuperstarDJ]

I’ve done a whole week. That hasn’t happened for a very long time. Baby steps to a gambling free life. Strangely I find that the longer I abstain, the more determined I am to not go back to day 1. I will always be honest in this forum. Yesterday I sat in the bookies for around 40 mins and I could well have gambled had my accounts not been closed – shows what a good barrier that is. So my personal commitment for week 2 is to not set foot in a bookie again, as there is no point, as I don’t gamble.

[SuperstarDJ]

Bit of a challenging day yesterday but I did not relapse. Had time between meetings at work so went into bookies. If I hadn’t closed my exchange account I would have probably layed the favourite in the 4.40 race – it lost, so I would have won. But I didn’t bet. I left the bookies after 10 minutes without betting. I must stop looking at odds or going into the bookies so that is my new commitment from today. Also I have just closed my final on line account so that’s it – for the first time in many years (11 I think), I have no account to bet with. Because I don’t need it any more.

[SuperstarDJ]

Very pleased with myself for closing my main on line account yesterday. I used to use it every day. I actually closed it. It’s a really important barrier for me as on line betting is what I used to do. Bookies and casinos weren’t my thing. That leaves just one account where the last withdrawal of loyalty bonus will land in my account tomorrow, and that can be closed on Thursday too. Only urge yesterday was that I looked up the odds on a tennis match but I didn’t do anything about it. There have not been many day 6s over the years. But this time is different.

[SuperstarDJ]

Keep going – I’m on day 5, there have been lots of day 5s this time is different. Wishing you all the best.

[SuperstarDJ]

Really good day yesterday. Relatively few urges. Withdrew latest and final loyalty bonus (ha ha) from on line account so that can definitely be closed tomorrow. Must send the closure email for the other one today. No excuses. I don’t need it anymore.

[Author]

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