[Succesful]

There have been many before me. You’re not different, you’re not superior. For nine years you have been fooled, enough is enough. The chance of winning is just too small. The odds are against you. Even with such a turnover, there’s a risk for a casino’s to make losses, because of the many costs. Think of the salaries, electricity, maintenance and the cleaning.

Our goal is to learn to love living life again (without any addiction), otherwise you won’t be able to stop the addiction.

[Succesful]

Self-pity is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Don’t blame others for the situation you’re in. It has been your mistake. Sure there are things in life that didn’t go as you planned, but that doesn’t mean you can act like a victim of it.

There are situations in life that aren’t the way they supposed to be, things turn out differently, the bad times in life; like break ups or getting fired. You don’t choose it to happen, you wanted to see it differently. That’s when self-pity comes in action. Yeah, but blahblahblah….

Life is a mysterious given and some things you just don’t have control of. Like a slotmachine 🙂

When we made the mistake to gamble and got addicted, we didn’t choose to. But if we just have self-pity all the time, we’re never getting out of it. We can’t control the past, but we can get control of the future. I feel stupid now that it has had a hold on me for so many years. How could I’ve let that happen. It was all self-pity.

Gambling steals years of your life. There was a day I felt good and was planning to do some homework (I’m still a student). I found it hard to realize what a mess I left behind since the last time I studied. I’ve neglected it so badly that it was so hard to start again. No wonder why I kept escaping. Every time I did escape things just got worse, never better. Why run away from things. If you just take actions immediately, it will safe you a lot of stress.

Many people have been before me. They lived the gambling life and now they try to warn the people who are now in the gambling trap and they advice you to stop it.

Ignorant and addicted as we are, we just can’t listen to it. The addiction goes with a feeling of superiority (It wont happen to me) and superstition (tactics).

I’ve been gambling for nine years now. Why didn’t it work for me till now. Why would it be different this time.

The addiction wins from wisdom and gives an idea that your moment still has to come. Someday I will win X amount, maybe today?

And every time it becomes clear that it doesn’t work like that.

If you win, you want to win more and if you lose, you want to win it back. Remember that. This has been the reason why I’ve been struggling gambling for nine years. There have been moments (very few) that I did accidentally win, but looking at the frequency of it, it’s nothing compared to what I’ve been gambling.

Sometimes the self-pity comes in play again and you gamble like it owes you something. It owes you nothing! The slot didn’t remember your face and you don’t have an advantage this time.

Reasons to keep gambling during a session;
– Rush
– Short moments to decide
– Not the ability to think straight
– Wanting to win more
– Spend some more time. An addict cares more about keeping the slots spinning, then paying out, these are moments when the nerves come in play, and if you do win after the excitement, the human body rewards you with dopamine. Isn’t that fantastic !?

[Succesful]

Normal people would say that, but since we’ve experienced winning we got addicted. We know winning is possible and that’s the problem. Forget your gambling winnings, because if you’d like to be normal you have to live with the thought that gambling is a losing game and that’s also the reality

[Succesful]

During the gambling experience we’ve managed to get the idea that gambling can lead to winning. We’ve experienced winning. We know its possible. Before we started gambling it was just a try. We were curious what will happen, while knowing people said gambling is bad. When we did win, we didn’t understand the thought that gambling was bad, until we made our first (big) loss.

There’s one mindset that makes it easier to stop gambling and that’s “winning is worse”. Our experience has thought us that we can win gambling, but as we’re recovering gambling addicts we know that it actually leads to losing everything.

Why winning is worse. Because this only leads to more emotional pain and more time loss. If winning is worse and we gamble to win, then we’re trapped. This means we gamble to feel worse. Every time we gamble we feel worse and that’s also the reality.

A gambling-session only stops when you’re broke. The moments you leave a casino with money, you’re still in a rush. You cannot focus and cannot sleep, you go back the next day and lose it all.

[Succesful]

I could’ve been gambling free for 55 days now, but of course that’s not what happened. I lost myself and looked for consolation at the bookies. Week in, week out. Don’t remember much actually, I just know it hasn’t worked for me and it’s not the solution. It never was.

[Succesful]

I hadn’t smoke for 6 days, but today when I rushed my way to the supermarket I did get cigarettes. So my smoke-free time went up in smoke as I just didn’t know what to do.

[Succesful]

As I’m not happy with my home situation at the moment, I had an huge urge today. I wanted to gamble and I was planning my trip to it, but I didn’t had the time at that moment.

Later on the urge got less, but still had alternate thoughts about going to the bookies. Then came the moment I made the decision to not go to the bookie, but buy a scratch card.

I hurried my way to the supermarket as it was almost closing-time. (Unfortunately!) they already had clear away the scratch-cards. The girl at the cash-desk suggested to call someone who could get the scratchcards If I wanted. I felt a bit ashamed of myself and I just said no it’s fine.

Then I drove for an hour and a half just mixed feelings just because I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to gamble, but I had nothing to do and I was dissatisfied.

So I’ve mad it to day 8, but it’s not like I’m feeling really happy about it. I couldn’t care if I did go gambling as there’s nothing to look forward to.

[Succesful]

Step 1: Compliment Yourself

Step 2: Stop Making Excuses

Step 3: Let Go of Anger ( sum up all the things that can make you angry and can lead to gambling)

Step 4: Practice Forgiveness ( Try to forgive the things or people you’re mad about)

Step 5: Forgive yourself

Step 6: Own your talents proudly

Step 7: determine your values

Step 8: Examine what you believe about yourself

Step 9: Examine your behavior thoroughly and honestly

Step 10: Determine what changes you want to see

Step 11: Set goals for yourself

Step 12: Frame goals positively

[Succesful]

I’m back from vacation and I’ve made a head-start, not been gambling for seven days. I feel much better and I hope it stays this way.

[Succesful]

Thanks for your post.

It’s not a GA-meeting that I’m attending. Well I’ve been to 2 meetings months ago, but it just wasn’t my thing at that moment. Maybe I’ll go back later on.

It’s a 12-step to live life in a better way and to understand what I want in my life. I kind of put it together by myself (copy&paste from different websites) and ironically it became 12 steps.

The doctor didn’t prescribe me anything, but I am feeling so depressive at the moment that the thoughts of taking anti-depressants came up. Of course I will first see my doctor for advice.

In a few days I’ll go on a vacation for a couple of days. This sure can do me good, as I’m in a horrible state at the moment.

Till then I wont be posting anything as I’m pretty occupied.

I will let you know more after I’m back and post the 12-steps as well.

[Succesful]

Thanks for your post.

All these preventive actions only limits the damage a gambler can create. While it’s more important to take away the will to gamble (for good!). Self-exclusion doesn’t fix a gamblers problem.

The problem takes place in the head. The brains are changed so badly that it just seems impossible to stay away from the slots.

You can say we’re chronically ill and that preventive actions need to stay forever(!), but what kind of life is that. It doesn’t seem so enjoyable.

Most of the time it goes wrong when a gambler gets his finances back in hands. Not necessary immediately, it can take days, weeks, months, years. The only solutions seems to never(!) get you finances back in hands.

I want my freedom and privacy and sometimes it feels like I’m trapped because of the fact I can’t control my own finances.

Wish there could’ve been a medicine to heal this addiction. I’m considering taking antidepressants.

At he moment I just can’t enjoy things, I don’t have the energy to do anything. The time just ticks away and with every hour it just kills me that I haven’t been able to do anything. I wake up and before I know the day has ended. I’m so slow and I take care of myself badly

I’m so weak at the moment. I made a 12 step program to have a clearer vision of who I am and what I want in life. I just cant live to it. It doesn’t change anything about my mood.

There’s so much more going on with me; I’m depressive, maybe I’m a bit autistic and I have fear of commitment. I don’t have friends, I do not like to talk with family. When I’m with colleagues I just don’t know what to say . I’m dissatisfied with myself, with the choices I made.

So there are plenty of times when I just think; **** it all, I’m going to gamble. And after that I even feel worse, because now I’m a loser whose broke as well.

[Succesful]

Hi Steven,

Thanks for your post. It does make a lot of sense, as you speak out of experience.

There’s a change in the thoughts which turn you in to the gambler again, without you even noticing. Only one moment can ruin it all.

I have my finance managed, but even though I still have gambled quite an amount the last 8 months. I have counted the smaller amounts which I had access to and I can conclude I have gambled around 2500.

It’s crazy, it doesn’t feel this way, most of the time I gambled around 50. Crazy how it accumulates. Can you imagine how much I would’ve lost if I had access to my managed bank-account.

I told myself 8 months ago that I was ready to control my own finances again and the reason why I gambled was because they didn’t let me get my finance back.

It would probably go right at the start if I did get my finance bank, as I was doing great. But now I know it was a good thing that I didn’t get it, because there’s only one weak moment needed to go bankrupt.

Being aware of that, I’m glad my money is being taken care of.

Stupid brain

[Succesful]

Welcome to the forum. Good thing to come over here and get some advice.

I know how you feel. You gambled away someone else’s money. Then borrowed from 2 friends and lost that amount as well. That must feel very depressing and not knowing what to do. You’re still in the modus of gambling thrill, as I would like to call it.

So the most logical way out seems to get money as soon as possible. You need 300 dollars, that’s not an easy amount to get fast. When you have smaller amounts in reach, the most obvious thing to do is gamble again, hoping to win it all back. That saves you from not having to confess or make up excuses. Please don’t do that. The odds are against you and your friends most-likely have to wait longer to get their money back.

It’s a hard thing to do, but the easiest way out is to confess and tell them truly what happened. There are no excuses. If you don’t like to tell your friends, then you need to tell your parents or brother. Maybe they can help you out.

In the meanwhile earn the money back, seek help, visit a doctor and pay them of whenever you can.

Wish you the best, good luck!

Dave

[Succesful]

Hi Micky,

I’m glad you find the lists useful.

Yeah it’s true about the barriers. Maybe I’ll think about it.

The last half year I’ve been feeling very dissatisfied with myself. Not knowing what I really want and blaming people and the fact I can’t control my own finances was just making me frustrated. That’s why I had a huge relapse in november/december 2015 and till now I really can’t get out . I’m now on the right way.

I’m busy to find out what I want in life and what could make me happy. I think that’s the key for having a life without gambling and be happy about it.

I’ll keep you updated

Dave

[Succesful]

Hi Theone,

Thanks for your reply.

I agree with what you’re saying about lists. I felt worthless and I just needed to put things on paper.

I don’t think self-exclusion is the solution. It is in fact a blockade when you feel like gambling, but there are so many bookie. If the urge is high enough, I will just go to another city.

I gamble most of the time at 1 bookie ( my favorite one). In the past I self-excluded myself here. But days after I just went to other one’s around the corner.

So let’s say I self-exclude myself to all of the one’s in the area. That will make it harder to gamble, because I need to go further to gamble. But I don’t care as a gambler, I will go to the other side of the country if it’s needed. Maybe visit the real casino’s.

The self-exclusions only last for 3 month’s. And I have to give a copy ID, which I’m just not comfortable with. I like to remain an anonymous gambler.

Access to money is restricted since 5 years now and yet I’m able to gamble an amount each week. There were periods when I felt strong enough to take care of my own finances, which wasn’t possible. This periods I wasn’t gambling and I felt good. But when I noticed it just wasn’t possible I kinda gambled as a resist for not getting my finances back. Kinda thought: ” Then I will make my own money”.

It’s just not fun having to ask for your own money. I’m to proud to having to ask for money. I feel ashamed a lot. Moments were I don’t have enough money on my bankcard, while I know I do have money on my financed account, is just killing me.

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