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To all the staff, volunteers, posters and lurkers – a very merry and blessed season.
Tell the truth about your gambling to someone you know and trust. Lying to ourselves and others goes with gambling. If you can get support from a loved one or trusted friend then please do it. Come back here if you need to.
You have told a story. I guess there is a lot more to be said. I hope you are getting the support you need and will not shy away from telling us what is going on for you when you need to do it. Go well.
You have already taken the first step in dealing with this problem – you have admitted it both to yourself and to people here. Well done for that – and at only 18. I started gambling at 16 and was in my 30’s before I sought help.
If you can “fix things” without gambling again then, of course, go for it; but don’t be afraid to let those closest to you know what is going on. Don’t be tempted to lie about your losses, that will only cause more problems in the long-term. Speak to a family member or close friend you can trust and get support and keep strong.
Hi Mike. I hope it is still going well for you. I’ve also got a cold so am laid up at the moment. I would echo others on here and say try and place your money with others until you are strong enough to handle it again. I wasn’t able to do that being a loner with no family, so in order to keep my money safe I decided to “invest” in stuff that I could sell later at a profit. Needless to say I still have most of this stuff which I’ve relabelled as “clutter.”
Just to say if you ever do slip back – don’t feel you can’t come back here. It took me a long time to completely stop – to use the corny phrase, “one day at a time!” And I know that I still could be tempted. But I think all I want right now is cough medicine! Keep strong.
I can tell you how I did it. But I know that it will be different for each person with this problem – so what worked for me might not work for you. But first I had to admit I had a problem. Not just a problem but an addiction which had only 3 solutions if I didn’t get help – being destitute – being in prison or being dead (from suicide.) When I admitted it was that serious, then I became serious about getting help. I lived near a gaming arcade and part of my recovery was to move! I basically set up a whole new life for myself and the main factor was getting support. Talk to people on here – people in your own location that know about addiction and recovery both self help and professionals (if you can.) Put your recovery first and it will become easier over time.
Hi Yolip. How did I do it? By deciding to put all the time and energy that I had put into my gambling into my recovery instead. By deciding that I was more important than the bet. By deciding that I did indeed have a problem and that I needed to admit it to myself and to other people that could help me. Weekends were always bad for me as well, so in the early days of my recovery I always made sure that I was busy at weekends. I did courses, voluntary work, went to GA groups and did fun stuff where there was no gambling on site to hook me in. I told as many people as I could about my problem and got them to look out for me. Extra hours at work will help not only to pay debts back but to keep you away from gambling. Using counselling to try and find out what may have gotten me into this behaviour in the first place. In short putting myself and my recovery first with the support and help of other people. I hope it works for you, Go well.
Having had the rollercoaster of the big wins and the subsequent losses, you know that gambling does not work for you and that you have a problem. Own it. Like the alcoholic who HAS to stop drinking you are a compulsive gambler who HAS to stop. Time and money is what you needto gamble with so try and eliminate both. Put the time into your recovery – self help groups – spending time on here – getting counselling or co-counselling if it is available in your area. As Jen3 has said – can you get someone else to be in charge of your money? Perhaps a family member who knows you have a problem. I think it is important for you to pick up your studies again in some way. See if you can get Careers Advice – you might be able to approach your old university for this. Could you use an on-line university like the OU in the UK or check out Future Learn on the web for short (and importantly free) courses in a wide range of subjects. Spending time on this will not only make you feel better about yourself but will give you less time for gambling. Take good care of yourself!
Hi Terry James. I am new here so not sure how my advice will go down, but I haven’t gambled for years and haven’t gambled compulsively for around 30 years. When I made the decision to stop, I was already in a self help group for people with problems – where someone suggested that I go to Gambler’s Anonymous. I went – not just to one meeting but to as many as I could for the first few months. Basically I decided to put as much time and energy into my recovery as I put into my gambling – and that was a lot! At first it was all I could do to resist the pull in my head to gamble again. I didn’t go to any of the places where I used to gamble and changed all my routines and contacts which could lead me back into it. Later I had to change strategies to stay stopped.
What did you give up to start gambling – can you put more energy there? Talk to people – both those close to you and those who know about the problem both on here and in your neck of the woods. I wish you well.Hi Brandi. I’m new here so not sure if my advice will be welcome but I am sure someone will put me right if I am out of line. It is great that you have admitted that you have a problem to yourself and on this forum, but have you done so in real life? You need to get support from people who DO undestand the addiction. Check for self-help groups in your area or talk to someone by phone – the Samaritans if need be or a specific gambling support group like GA or similar. Come back here anytime you need to – I will look out for your posts. Gambling can be cracked – I have not gambled compulsively for over 30 years.