[i’m_free]

So many emotions and memories come up for me when I move into the recovery mode and away from addictive behaviors and coping methods. There is no running from these things. There is no covering up of these things. What is there ? What can I do? Soften. Truly feel even if it heartbreaking. Breath. Trust. Accept the flavor of the moment and each day as it unfolds. Know that with recovery my life will come into alignment with my higher purpose. Pray or say the serenity prayer as needed. Go outside in the sun and expand my consciousness . Easy is not LIFE . Life in the raw without addiction has the full gamut of emotions . Any kind of self help and growth resource is beneficial. Any kind of counseling that I /we can afford will help. There is a myriad of choice within our recovery , enough to last a moment, a day and a life time. Free

[i’m_free]

Due to some changes since I began the new recovery, I’m with new people/ housing and the holidays are ‘big’ celebrations for them and their families. I’m interested in this joyful time. In my life I’ve had many many times when I was alone and lonely during my favorite time of year. Often I was not gambling during the holidays season but I was recovering from previous gambling. I’ve probably spent nearly as much time trying to recover as the time that I was acxtually gambling over the last nearly 15 years, seriously. I never thought of it that way. Anyway. I honestly am looking forward to the holidays and trying to be in this moment. Free
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[i’m_free]

I’ve now got two weeks into my new recovery since the expensive slips when I went to self exclude at several casinos. 14 or 15 days free and it seems like a month or more to me. THinking back, so much has happened as my life took some swift turns since my new clean date. I still have many personal details of life to get in order involving phone calls , paper work, research and time & effort. It feels daunting. I think, baby steps and odaat. Free

[i’m_free]

For me the dangerous times are ahead of me and this is going to be a odaat venture. For today I have no desire to and will not gamble. For today when I have a distant thought of the future I will reconfirm my odaat commitment to myself. I’ve had many many periods of significant months of gamble free life. I called my thread a New Recovery because I came here to start a ‘new’ recovery and see how I can do things differently so the pattern of stop start does not continue. It get worse each time I relapsed! ODAAT Free

[i’m_free]

I went to an online meeting on sunday eve. and the host said , ‘remember, we don’t have to figure out why we gambled to be able to start recovering from it’…  just what he said and I thought it was powerful or empowering.  But yes, getting into that deep invest. is part of the recovery journey.    I’m loving everyones posts and imputs.  Well I don’t love the pain and sadness but I appreciate those shares too , very much… we all know these feelings. Free

[i’m_free]

Sometimes I’m amazed by the synchronicity of certain happenings in life when I open to a higher power with gratitude and humility. I’m seeing things line up in life in a different way. Not free of challenge but different than I might have expected. Free

[i’m_free]

I am new ‘again’ to recovery from compulsive gambling and I understand your question of ‘why’. I think it’s an insidious addiction and we have to see it and treat it as such. We ourselves are not stupid or failures etc. , not at all. But, I have to be responsible to at least take measures to block myself asap not to ‘begin’ because once I start gambling I don’t have brakes. Bless you. Things will get better for all of us, life does not magically change when we stop and for me sometimes it seems harder… but a coping behavior that ‘ruins me’ is not coping at all. Free

[i’m_free]

I have humility enough to say that I don’t know how to do this new recovery except for ‘in the moment’ living odaat. That is about it. Gotta take the day as it comes and always make the next best decision. Free

[i’m_free]

I wish I could have attended that meeting!  I had some other obligations at that time.  The topic is one I want to use to heal on a deeper level.  Free

[i’m_free]

My relationships have been effected by my hidden gambling addiction. I don’t have a bf right now and my family lives far away. Any friendship or housesharing situation has been effected to some degree by my gambling esp. my relationship with myself and my higher power. Free

[i’m_free]

After reaching the bottom or my last straw I feel like I’m insulated for a short period; it’s like I’m in a house and the war is over until I’m finally grounded enough to go out and survey my losses. I’ve got to be realistic and LOOK at the damage yet the sun is shining, I’m still breathing and life goes on from this point. It’s very sobering and there is hope.

[i’m_free]

If the gates to hell are closed then the doorway to freedom is OPEN> yay odaat Free

[i’m_free]

well said. Thx. for sharing.  Free

[i’m_free]

Sorry you are feeling depressed.  It seems that recovery does not take away depression but gambling adds to it.  What do you think?  Free

[i’m_free]

Just for today I’m free, it’s one day at a time, right? I use some self healing practices to balance and refind wellbeing . The money doesn’t instantly come back to me but in time I can rebuild and be grateful for the simple basic gifts of life. I can, we can do this… with a higher power of our own perspective and definition. Yes, I think /feel the recognition of a higher power brings gratitude, humility and other gifts of spirit which heal our lives and souls after the dark episodes that gambling brings. Free

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