[sam.sam]

Does being a compulsive gambler only affects you? or only loosing some money is the problem? I think NO. so I was thinking about the question, are we recovering compulsive gamblers or just compulsive gamblers? recovery to me is not only stop gambling but placing every thing in our life where it is supposed to be. when we gamble we are all over the world, and not near where we should be. families are far, friends do not exist any more, health getting away and so on. So I prefer to say recovering. as soon as i stop gambling i start about my life, the one i had before, laughter’s and happy times. I want them back. I am agree with you when you say we are all one bet away from becoming compulsive again but at the same time we are in recovery of our life and good things that we have lost. is not that right when we say we are not trying to be perfect, but progress, even if it is baby steps? It was something that came to my mind, and said better say than keep it in me.. Love you all. sam

[sam.sam]

Hi charles. I like the Idea. It is true that bad memories, negative thought usually are the triggers for addictive behaviors. Finding good memories to think about just before going to sleep, reassures that your brain is calm and ready to relax.
Thanks charles.

[sam.sam]

Yesterday I spent most of the time filling up my employment and support form, thinking today I will go to GP and get my sick note and send them today by post. Guess what I woke up 5 in the afternoon, the GP closes today at 1 o’clock. I was so angry and thought about what is happening to me. I am acting like I am an addict..then I told myself: hey slow down, what the h..ll you are talking about!? you are an addict, do you think you should be on hero..n, or Cr..k to consider yourself as an addict? Over the years your addiction been changing you bit by bit, eating away your moral, personality, and your brain. You are not the same person. You need time to change your brain reactions towards your feelings. you need help and time to know what way of thinking is right and what is wrong. I am to get help soon. I can not do it alone. even though I am not feeling like gambling, but other thing in life is going wrong and I am sure it is to do with my wrong planning. Tomorrow I will try differently.

[sam.sam]

Hi. Today is another day without Gambling. I woke up feeling better. not so depress or angry with myself, made a coffee and checked the post, and here I am. opening this page makes me feel that I am not alone anymore and have some good friend with here and I have not only responsibility to myself but towards them. It helps me to feel better. take care all.
Sam.

[sam.sam]

Hi harry, that also is a good one, and I like it. What I liked about the other one was that, it breaks that down to a very simple question, do you want, if yes, then this is the way…. work on yourself if you think it is difficult, and believe that, it is, do able. we need to practice.
take care Harry,
Sam.

[sam.sam]

Simple does not mean easy!

Success comes from intentional daily effort

We have been discussing one of life’s simple solutions. Life has many simple solutions. This simple solution is to change your experience of life by changing you reaction. Life acts. You react. Choose your reaction. The simple solution is to change the way that you think.
This solution is simple in the way that many of life’s other simple solutions are simple. For example, weight loss is simple. You only have to do two things which anyone can understand. To lose weight all you have to do is: (1) to eat less and (2) to exercise more. This is the essence of simplicity. If, however, you have ever tried to lose weight then you know that it can be extraordinarily difficult. What is simple is not always easy. Simple does not mean easy. The simple solution of changing your reaction to life by choosing what you think is very difficult. To accomplish it requires what every other simple solution requires and that is – discipline. The discipline of intentional daily effort is needed. You must choose to do it and you must do it every day. If you want to lose weight then you choose to diet and exercise daily. Stop for a while and progress stops.

In choosing your reactions to life you must observe yourself everyday. You strive to catch your negative thinking as it starts so you can reprogram it. Do it everyday whether you want to or not. Do it long enough and it becomes a habit. With the self discipline of a habit you avoid the repetitive holes in the sidewalk of life. You are in charge of you and life goes better. Remember: Pay attention to what you think. Look out for the holes in the sidewalk

[sam.sam]

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

― Portia Nelson

[sam.sam]

Today I have done two positive things. I have contacted the Broadway, and asked them to help me with my benefit situation, and waiting for them to contact me. then I called my GP and asked them for a sick note, which will be ready in two days. And also wrote a letter(emailed)my GP explaining how I feel generally and asking him to help me. For me(the gambler me) this few steps was so difficult to take. I was feeling I do not have any right to ask for help, I was feeling all I am doing is gambling and do not deserve help. I have to change that way of thinking. I was thinking I should be very selfish to consider myself as some one who needs help. But now I feel I really need help to be in the right place and get all the help I need. am I becoming selfish. As a child, and as a teenager I was denied all the emotional support that I needed. Not because they did not love me but because they were not aware of what they are doing. Or maybe they were too busy making a living and dealing with other problems, and emotional level of support got lost in order to fulfill the financial support. I am sure that I have dis satisfaction in my bone for what happened then, or what that did not happened. I hope I will be strong enough to forgive them, change what I can today, and do not think about what that can not be changed. live for today, with out gambling addiction. Today I have done something that made me happy, and the day still young. thank you all for being here.

[sam.sam]

Yesterday I got some money and surprisingly I was thinking logically, trying to do thing differently. I called a friend and gave him the money and spend only some on food. now it has been a week since I last placed a bet. all this week I was awake at night and today strangely I woke up at 9 in the morning. I guess my subconscious was thinking, I have money so can take me to betting shop…I am glad I could surprise him, that there is no money for him. I do not want to feel like before any more. borrowing money and feeling so down. feeling so embarrass in front of people and family when they ask you if you want to go out for a coffee.I can think more clearly today. although the general anxiety still here with me but I feel better today. I was thinking I never wanted a lot from my life. before I start gambling, my life was going to college, preparing for university and had a part time job. I was really happy, and could put the worries aside while doing my day to day responsibilities. Then when I could not renew my visa, and ordered to leave the country, I started to feel worry and could not continue with my course, left the job, and was advised by a friend to see a GP. From there the sleeping pills, anti depression and illness started. I would not leave my room for days. All I remember that I went and stayed in a friend house, and him seeing me like that, ask me to go to casino with him. I went not knowing what is going to happen there. I was hooked from the day one. I was on £40 a week state benefit and I would play all of that and then start to borrow money to live on. before that I would never ask for money from any one, not even ask for a cigarette. But I guess it is one of the main causes of gambling or addiction, that would search inside you and find the best part of you and focuses on destroying that part of you. what every you believe that is not a good thing to do, It would makes you do that. You become your own worst enemy. What a life. After my situation with home office was sorted out, I was not myself any more. I was not the person who had a view of the future. I was lost, I did not know what I want and where I want to be. I was a gambler nothing more. a person who has nothing in his mind but gambling. I have not been stable enough to keep a relation ship for more that a year. Now I feel so tired. Even if I do not gamble, still so hard to cope. I have to change my belief and the way I think. Only then I would feel comfortable with myself. I need to work hard On my emotional feelings. The past and now. One day at a time, the best option possible for me now. will not gamble today.

[sam.sam]

Hi P. I have been thinking about studying for a long time. My guess is that being occupied with this addiction kept me back from doing anything positive for myself. Hopefully this time with the help I am getting I would do it differently. Thanks for the prayer. I will try that, it sounds good to repeat that at the time when life seems unfair. Thanks p for being here.

[sam.sam]

I am really thankful for the support you are giving me. I was feeling trapped at home and confused, even about going out for a walk. I came here and saw your messages, P and Monique, And felt how good it feels to have some one who cares. I already feel a bit better. yesterday and today I haven’t been able to go out as I was feeling very low in spirit. I may go later tonight for a walk and come back to tidy up my flat. so On Monday I can feel better and go after some thing positive. I am always worry. It is a bad habit that I have to work on. I want to start to work on my memory and learning. I have this dream to go to university again and study and get a degree. I borrowed some algebra books from library to study, but still have not started. tomorrow, to go to My GP, and ask for another sick note, find some one to help me with my appeal, and tribunal against dwp. I feel nervous, but It will pass. Tomorrow I think about all the worries, let it go today. I did not feel like gambling today. thanks to all of you here.

[sam.sam]

Today I was supposed to contact gamcare to see if i can get counseling appointment, so I can get real in supporting myself. I have not yet. Today I have received a letter from dwp that my benefit had been stopped. I phoned them and they said they will send me a form to complete and see what they can do. I was already waiting for my appeal tribunal and thought they will wait until then. I feel nervous. I do not know why when some thing like this happens instead of becoming more active and looking for permanent solution, I would get depress and run in to bed and hide in my room. I feel cold and hopeless. I would not eat and feel very lonely. I am tired of these feelings.

[sam.sam]

Hi Harry. Thank you for your reply. Yes it did answer my question. I understand It is for the best.
Thank you,

[sam.sam]

I was reading in the forum and came to the name of a movie and tried to search it in Google. Strangely I found that Google search took me straight to our recovery journal and I could read all the comments and so on. Is that normal, and it should be like this?
This is what I typed in Google” (“big steve” Was about a person in throes of his compulsive gambling and how he found GA”)

[sam.sam]

Hi Carole. Thank you for your advice. It is great to have friend like you here. I can manage for these two weeks. I am sure I will not die. Some times I feel the demon inside me does not want me to die, he wants me alive so he can use me. But in reality I will survive this week and hopefully I will not make the same mistake. You are right and good to know that perfection is not what I should be looking for now, but progress. I have never looked at it this way. thank you It was very important point. One day at a time. I start again.

[Author]

Posts