[risingphoenix]

Day 282

Another gamble free day. Another day of recovery. I am grateful for what I have. I will continue to focus on my health, family and work.

My needs are met. I don’t need anything else.

One day at a time!

[risingphoenix]

Hi Don,
It was a mix of a few places, all very budget friendly :). I spent a couple of days at home, then the beach and then spent time hiking and camping.

Over the last decade, I have tried numerous times to gamble in a controlled manner and finally came to realization there is no such thing. When the sleeping tiger awakens, it is game set match. And one will lose everything!

[risingphoenix]

Day 277

Thanks Kin and JVR. That was a nice break.

Hope everyone is staying healthy and gamble free!

[risingphoenix]

Going on vacation for a week and digitally disconnecting. See y’all on the flip side!

[risingphoenix]

Day 268

Absolutely looking forward to it being the case 🙂

[risingphoenix]

I can relate to this so much. Nowadays without my dog, who was my anchor, I feel so lonely. Very depressive thoughts when I am at home all alone. I try to just keep working to just connect with people. I also keep driving around, and trying to meet people. I haven’t dated in a long time as I was so engrossed with gambling. It is becoming incredibly hard for me to get back at it now.

Gambling has affected so many facets of my life. It is just ridiculous.

[risingphoenix]

Day 267

Caught up on sleep. Been working some long hours of late. Good in a way that keeps me busy and away from any wrong thoughts.

Seeing the savings build makes me realize how fortunate I have been to be able to start my recovery from the mess.

I still however keep feeling a large dark shadow hanging around me all day. Will it ever become normal. Probably not. And I understand that I will need to battle through this everyday. This is a good thing though. Will keep me alert not to relapse.

Staying gamble free. One day at a time!

[risingphoenix]

Thanks Don. That is a fantastic metaphor you’ve written here. Yes! It certainly helps.

[risingphoenix]

Thank you for the great idea Kin. I will create a gratitude list here next time I start feeling sad

[risingphoenix]

It is the gambling flywheel.

Feel sad-> Gamble-> Win some -> Feel good-> Gamble -> Lose some-> Feel angry -> Gamble -> Lose more -> Feel sad-> Gamble -> Lose everything -> Recover -> Feel sad -> Gamble…

The key is to break the flywheel! One gamble free day at a time.

[risingphoenix]

Day 262

Hey Don, Thanks for checking in. I have been doing okay but not great. Staying gamble free so that’s good. How have you been?

Got my paycheck over the weekend. Transferred all of it to family except keeping some for the rent and few bills.

I had very difficult time with sad feelings over the weekend on how bad I let my situation get towards the end of last year and how much money was lost over the last decade.

Thought this is sad, I came to realize late last night that these feelings as necessary to keep me on the straight and narrow. To realize the importance of self will and how critical it is to stay gamble free

One day at a time!

[risingphoenix]

It’s amazing to hear the self control and restraint you are showing. Keep your guard up always. I am cheering for you!

One day at a time!

[risingphoenix]

Thanks Don for your comments. I am glad to be at a stage where my story is becoming an inspiration for others. We all need to support each other through this treacherous journey in life

[risingphoenix]

Day 257

There is no easy fix for this disease. I am not sure if there is a fix at all. This is just a tiger we put asleep, the minute it wakes up even years from now it can wreak total havoc.

Pay day is coming soon. I already have allocated money for bills and written cheques to safe places where the money needs to go.

Lack of access to money = lack of temptations to gamble!

Staying gambling free. One day at a time.

[risingphoenix]

Thank you for your constant support and encouragement Kin.

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