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Yea the entire thread almost sounds like i was the one writing it. The one thing better than listening to a success story, is someone losing everything and then fighting back to come out on top. Nothing more satisfying then seeing someone be at their worst and end up succeeding.
I felt your pain everytime you relapsed and called yourself a failure and loser etc. You are none of those. Its all part of the journey and these failures are whats going to shape you as a man and build character for the rest of your life. A lot of us gamblers need to hit absolute rock bottom before getting better. You are still young so be glad it happened early on and not once you are 60 when it becomes a bit harder to comeback.
Personal training is also a great job, not sure if you are still doing it but you are the motivation for others which shows your character already and what youre capable of. Im staying away from all casinos and bars now, have self excluded from everything online and have given up drinking for a while. It does suck because i imagine you are like me and enjoy drinking with mates now and then but its definitely a trigger for me at the moment. Last time i drank, everything was good was having s fun night and then a few hours later when i was really drunk i ended up telling my mates im going home so i called a taxi then as soon as i left, i told the taxi driver to take me to the bar where i knew were slot machines and lost a whole lot of money. Woke up the next day depressed and angry at myself for even going there but i seemed to be in autopilot.
Youre going to get through this, and so am i. Just patience, time and hard work will get us there. Keep fighting !
You have done so well mate. You are over a month gamble free, that is where a lot of us are trying to get to now. I am on day 4. Stay busy, and keep doing what youre doing not being able to access money. I cannot wait till i have a month gamble free under my belt so dont give that up. It sucks starting back at day 1. Keep counting those days and keep adding on, im telling you now that you will feel like shit if you have to start again. Im determined to get to over a month this time and then another month from there and so on..
You arent missing out on anything man, everyone else is still losing everything gambling. Theres no winning in gambling, just instant losses and delayed losses. Be proud of your progress, i cannot wait to join you in being months free of the evil!
Hey emma glad to hear you went straight to gamble free again. Im sure as you know, when you relapse and win, that can sometimes be the worst thing because it tricks you into thinking you can do it again. You can make so much progress financially when you go gamble free for months and then ruin it all in one day of gambling.
Keep visiting back here especially now, and do everything you can to stay away from it. Start adding up the months of being gamble free again, im counting with ya !
Hey man i just read the entire thread and could relate way too much to the entire roller coaster you have gone through. I have the exact same problem as you where i lose everything then after finally having access to money again i will end up overspending which triggers me to want to gamble to make it back. And also drinking, every time i go out drinking with friends i tell myself i eill definitely not gamble. But by the end of the night i am trying to find a way to get away from my friends so i can go somewhere to gamble.
Im on day 3 today. All i can say is that we are at the point that no amount won will ever pay back what we have lost. You are down 30k so even if you got lucky and won 5k you would not leave with it. You would look at that 5k as a ticket to make even more money back. You tell yourself beforehand that if you got 5k of your losses back from winning then you would definitely leave, but in reality we would not leave. So there is no point to try make that 5k. It is impossible to make your 30k back now. And if you hit some sort of jackpot for 30k, once again you would not leave. You would start thinking “well now im even, i can try make some extra money for myself before i pay all my debts back” and before you know it, you lost it all again. Our brains are a mess as gamblers. We will only ever leave down, never up. Even if you left up 1 day, you will give it back the next day or even next week. Like they said its dirty money, not our money.
Also a shout out to that meghna person who has been there for you from almost the beginning when you started posting on here. I hope meghna is doing well and i was astounded by the support she was giving you all the way. Such a big story on this thread and i know there is a happy ending to it. Within time you will look back at this thread and say to yourself “i did it, i got through the toughest and darkest time in my life”. You sound like a great guy whos going to make it out on top. These relapses have just been part of your journey and it was the way it was always meant to go. You will realize this one day. Keep your head up man, your struggles will be over, time is on your side.
Im right there with you buddy, i also feel this determination and happiness that things are going to change from here on out.
I think typing out those thoughts and disappointments also releases it from your body and helps you feel better knowing that someone else knows about it and its people that can relate and understand it. Thats the hard part about not telling the people you love because what ive learnt is that someone who has never struggled with a gambling addiction before will never really fully understand why we have made these mistakes and the bad decisions we have made.
I use to judge my brother who had a very bad gambling addiction years ago and he would ask me for money to help him feed his family. I remember getting angry at him for being so stupid and losing all his money and then a few years later i went through it myself and soon realized how easy it is to lose everything and i instantly remembered the way i judged him and felt terrible about it. Now he barely gambles anymore and its me going through the struggles. I could have been a lot more understanding of him back then if i knew what i know now.
Like you said, each day we dont gamble is another win. It makes me enjoy going to bed knowing i can add another day on. Keep your positive mindset and come back to these forums if you ever get a sudden urge. Looking forward to hearing great things
Great success you have made over the past month mate. I am on day 1 and you motivate me to not want to relapse this time. Life is so much better without gambling. It must feel great using money on things that matter instead of something so useless and pathetic like gambling.
Good on you, i cant wait to be 30+ days gamble free too!
I noticed you commented on my thread and just wanted to say i can relate to so much you are saying. The worst part about gambling is it can make such a great person do such nasty things such as lying or using money that isnt yours. I have even thought about stealing from places to get back the money ive lost. These evil thoughts seem to take over when we are gambling and its not the kind of person i am at all which makes me second guess why im having these thoughts.
I have the same problem as you where i quit for an amount of time and then the second i start up again i lose everything and start with small bets then just lose complete control. Even when i finally make some money, its never enough and it just makes me want to gamble more and more. No matter how much i tell myself beforehand that i should stop at a certain number or point, i never go through with it and keep playing till i lose everything.
We need to stop and sort everything without gambling. Gambling is not the answer to our problems, it is the reason. Im more than happy to come back here every day and see how you’re doing with your recovery. We can get through this, time to pay our debts and get our lices in order and stop giving money away to something that doesnt deserve it.
You’ll get there and so will i
Wow i just want to say that i am astounded by the story you have shared. I can relate to some of the emotions you share. I have lost a lot of money too but at a much smaller scale to you. I have never experienced having as much money as you so the amount ive lost is a lot to me anyway. Im amazed at how hard of a worker you are and how far youve come. It takes a really big character to make a comeback, the way that you have and it is highly motivating. You had been given many opportunities to give up as i know many people would but you pushed through and have such a solid plan put together. You havr inspired me sir so i too will put a plan together tomorrow and start looking towards the future too. Im wishing you the best and rooting for you to stay strong and on the track you are. You deserve to get through this. I can’t even fathom working more than 1 job so you are definitely ahead of a lot of people when it comes to work ethic. I hope everything works out for you, you have come so far and should hopefully never feel the need to gamble again. Stick with the forums and finding ways to keep on track. Looking forward to hearing more updates, all the best man.