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Im exactly like you mate. Im dealing with the anxiety, low self esteem etc. It makes me hate myself and ive become so depressed.

I dont have any advice at the moment as i cant stop either but all i can say is youre not alone. Theres more of us doing the exact same shit as you and going through the exact same struggles. Praying that we make it out of this mate

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Oh sjc1

That comment hit home with me heavily. It’s something I can’t understand at all. Those feelings and thoughts never appear until ive lost everything aswell. How can one day we be hating it so much and then the next day doing it again. Gambling really is a poison in our minds. A disease.

Im finally 1 week gamble free which has been a long time since i can say that. I have money in the bank but a lot of bills and things jumping at me overwhelming me at the moment so its stopping me from gambling because i really need to get on top of these things. A positive though is that it’s nice to be able to go to the shop and but whatever i need to, when i need to. Ive spent so much time lately with absolutely nothing left because i gamble it all the second i get paid.

Kin, im sorry you relapsed. We can all do this as long as we keep trying. Giving up on quitting is where we fail but if we keep trying to quit then it’ll happen eventually. Merry xmas and keep your head up high

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Glad to hear the daily progress mate! Merry xmas and congratulations on getting over 50 days!!

I myself just completed day 7. My first time getting through a whole week in a loooong time. Only a tiny achievement but something in proud of.

Keep it going buddy

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Yea u should be super proud of yourself cruising.

If you gambled, you would be starting your day count all over again after coming so far. You would lose money, be angry at yourself and then be back here posting about how you had to start over. Theres so much temptation but its never worth it. You have done so well and would hate yourself for having to start over. The worst part would be if you happened to win something, because then you 100% would return again and again after that. Thats what ive realized is winning just sucks us back in there for a longer period of time and then we end up giving it all back plus more. Us gambling addicts can never quit after winning, its just not possible to leave and never return after a win. I only ever quit properly once i lose everything.

Pat yourself on the back and keep pushing forward one day at a time

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Hey kin thanks for the reply.

Good for you for keeping at it. Ive been busy at work last few days so havent had time to post but it has gotten me to day 4 today happily. Juat like you said, i feel like im going through withdrawal symptoms which is so strange that gambling can make you feel this way. I have times throughout the day where I feel angry, impatient, irritable and just frustrated with people. I keep thinking about gambling and my brain gets foggy and then later on i catch my self and wonder why i go into those trances. Ive realized i use it as an escape because when im gambling, i completely forget about everything else in the world and focus entirely on the gamble but don’t stop until i run out of funds and then everything else comes flooding back in. Im not sure what it is about daily life that im trying to subconsciously escape but i feel addicted to being in that state of “escape” though.

So yea I feel very vulnerable at the moment aswell but taking it one day at a time

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Thank u both for your replies. Im on day 3 now. Thanks for the prayer cruising

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good on you mate, im happy for you. thats a huge achievement. I fell back again and am back to day 1. you need to keep pushing through, it sucks starting over and over time and time again. i havent made it past a week in a long time. may I ask what the serenity prayer is? i have tried to say prayers myself but never know what to say but i do feel like i need the help from that higher power. ive said to myself that i will no longer fail for the rest of this year so im now looking forward to this journey. one day at a time

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thats so good to hear mike. youre an inspiration to me at the moment. Any chance you could share a timeline of how you felt and how you got through the first few weeks? i keep making it a few days and then failing again. im back to day 1 now but i believe i can do it this time. any knowledge or advice would be much appreciated. It makes me smile when i imagine myself at the same amount of days clean as you, its just a matter of experiencing that feeling myself and making it there.

Should be dam proud of yourself mate, good on you

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hey Siroko.

You arent alone mate, im right here with you. Im on day 1 too. im 29 years old and been gambling for a long time too but like you, the last few years have been the worst. I earn very good money but have absolutely nothing to show for it, my mates have all bought homes (some of them have bought multiple houses) and I earn more than them yet I am not at the same stage as them. its embarrassing for me and I have to lie about saving all my money because im too ashamed to say i lost everything. we can do this though. im trying to find new things to do now to force myself to become a different person and not stick to what im doing on a daily basis now. I want to change and need to change so we need to figure out how to re-wire our brains into believing we are on a new journey. ill be on here everyday if you ever want to chat. im going to try post daily on how many days free i have been. As of now im on day 1. I can do this, you can do this. we can do this. the future is so bright dude, it just takes change!

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well so i relapsed again. this time felt different. one gambling session turned into a few days of gambling .I once again had a good day gambling and was well up and then lost it all again the next day. i wasnt focussed at work because I knew I was up and had money there to gamble. I was on my phone the entire time playing slots etc and then by the morning I lost it all. this happens everytime. Even when im up, i dont stop or cash out. Ive been watching videos to try find out if this will ever be cured or if my brain has been shaped in a way that is so severly addicted now that it doesnt want to stop. But here I am again on day 1 disappointed in myself. Christmas around the corner and stressing about presents etc. I will take it a day at a time for now but I know this is my last time relapsing. It has to be. the stress it puts me through is unlike any other stress ive ever experienced. I even sweat and my heart is racing while im losing and trying to chase my losses back. My hands were shaking at work while playing..

I will see the rest of this year out without gambling and 2022 will be a good year for me, i know it. looking forward to get 2 weeks gamble-free under my belt before 2022. im taking the step of ordering an eftpos card and cancelling my debit card. having a debit card has been the worst thing to ever happen to me and Ive been wanting to take this step for a long time. now is the time. Feel free to share anything you guys are going through and I would be more than happy to read through

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hey Cruising247,

I would like to thank you personally. i nearly did go and gamble that last 200$ but i read your message and it stopped me. it also reminded me that yes that last bit of money never ever does good anyway. so i left it in the drawer and went to work which will get me through the rest of today. i may struggle again tomorrow but for now, im good. this reminds me of a drug addiction where you want to stop but the brain is fighting against it. I find it so interesting how gambling can have this sort of hold on me, like im sort of craving a gambling session.

i feel like multiple times I wouldve normally caved in and did it but posting on this site daily gives me that little bit of power to want to do better so I guess its helping for now. 35 days free must be such a good feeling. its been a long time since ive been that long without gambling. hoping i can make it to that point as each day goes by. thanks for replying.

Kin, you explained it all exactly how im feeling. my brain is telling me lies and trying to trick me into falling back. im hoping it all calms down soon as I feel like i nearly lost a few times today. but im at work now getting through the rest of my day 3 so atleast Ill be at day 4 by the time i get home. thanks for the motivating words and taking the time to write. i hope you are doing well today

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Thanks for commenting. im on day 3 now and still going through periods of time throughout the day that tell me to go give it one more try.

On my last gamble I took the last few hundred dollars out of my account and put it in my drawer so I can’t deposit anymore online. My brain keeps telling me i lost everything else so may aswell lose the rest. Holding strong so far but the thought is always there though.

Been a tough last few days. Its like I keep telling myself “i could win it all back off this last 200$” even though i lost thousands and couldn’t stop until i lost everything every other time. Its a sickening feeling I have about myself when it comes yo money. I work so hard for it but gamble it all away like it holds no value and I don’t realize it till it’s all gone.

So hard to understand why we do what we do snd how to stop it

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Yes mate what’s scary is how long it can keep us in this state aswell. How many days are you gamble free or still having troubles? Im on day one now. Finished work early today and came up with 2 different scenarios on my way home on how to get my gambling fix. Was driving past the pub and thought about stopping in to jump on the slots, but instead drove past and then thought about going to the money machine and putting money on my debit card to gamble online. Instead came home. Big reason was because i read a thread on here last night from a guy mikeB talking about being on day 93 and it made me imagine that feeling. If i go 93 days without gambling then i will have a lot of money saved up because i make a decent amount but usually blow it all weekly.

So im in a battle between good and bad thoughts at the moment but will be glad to get through to day 2 hopefully making it through this mental warfare today

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hi mike! its been a pleasure reading your little journey you have here. im inspired by just reading the posts and seeing how quickly the days have gone by. i gambled today so will be starting day 1 tomorrow. Im like you, i havent posted here in years and have finally returned. All I can say is keep it up, you dont want to be like me who is constantly starting back at day 1. the sad part is that christmas is coming up and im still gambling away money I could be buying gifts with. you arent missing out on anything. gambling is horrible and im going insane over here. I will start day 1 tomorrow and hopefully be able to get as sober as you without another relapse now. I will be starting my own thread and posting daily from now on too.

Keep it up brother, good on you. I can only imagine how much better ill be doing in life being able to say 93 days clean. Im excited for this new journey now too

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thanks for your message, you put a smile on my face saying this.

i have been worrying lately about the urges and just hope to myself that I can stay strong when they come on heavy. “the urges will lessen with time” really hit me. because i know you are right and its just because im fresh in recovery right now. it made me realize that 7 weeks ago i had quit smoking weed which i was doing every day, all day long. and the first few weeks without it was dreadful. but now i have absolutely no urge whatsoever to smoke weed so this should also be similar to stopping gambling. I need to look to the end goal and know that it gets easier, the longer away from it I am. 

you have motivated me today to keep doing what im doing and I thank you for that. I look very forward to payday this week and sending that money to my mum again as that will be 2 weeks of money saved which is an accomplishment for me. I use to be so good at saving too so i cannot wait till re-gain that mindset and lose this gambling one. we can all do this and I see now more than ever that it is a lot easier to do with the help of others and talking to people who can relate as i know if i was to tell a non-gambler, its something they wouldnt understand just like i wouldnt have back before i started. 

i have been looking at life more positively lately and telling myself that this was the journey I had to go through to grow as a person so I cannot be mad because we all have a different process and this was mine. Years from now we will look back and smile at how far we’ve come just as Steev does who posted above. take care mate

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