[Now-or-never]

Unfortunately most of the time it needs to be a sickening loss to push in the right direction. Congrats for not putting yourself in debt to chase, you should be very proud of yourself for not doing that and having the control to stop. Today is the start of the rest of your life, and it’s only going to get better from here.

[Now-or-never]

Today was a really hard day to get through. I found out what money we will be getting in March and it’s not only going to get us out of debt but give us a comfortable buffet. As soon as o got off the phone I wanted to go and play. I started thinking to myself I’ve really accepted the losses as gone so I’m not chasing money, I deserve a little break and I’ll only take 20. I then started thinking I could go back to the casually playing. Like once every couple of weeks and be one of those people again. I had these thoughts going through my head over and over. But I also had everything else going through my head as to why I shouldn’t. That voice saying “you will never be that person who can just play casually” “ you know you can’t leave after 50, you never have” and “I’ve made it this far don’t disappoint yourself and Brendan (the hubby). Today the good voices won. I don’t have the hurrah cheer going on, I’m feeling quite numb and still have the urge but not as strong (probably cause even if I wanted to play I actually can’t right now). I have another day of being able to play tomorrow and not looking forward to it. It’s going to be the toughest day so far. Just got to keep myself busy and keep think positively!

[Now-or-never]

Tick! Today I had a lot of challenges because I had a lot of opportunity. But I didn’t want to back down. I kept looking at my budget spreadsheet and it’s tight but doable if o just don’t gamble. I stopped myself from going to the gym as I just didn’t trust myself to go out esp it being next to the club. I haven’t blocked myself. I can’t bring myself to go in there and do it., I just don’t want to face the place and make that step of Admitting to all of them and outside of this group and my hubby that I have a problem. I’ve told myself if I break (anywhere not just there) I have to and it’s like that’s another motivation not to go in. You can all hold me too it too 🙂

[Now-or-never]

Hey mark, fantastic job on making it to 6 days! 

it’s going to take awhile to fully process the losses. When you have those urges remember that money Is completely gone. You will not win it back, period. you can save it back but never win it and walk out ahead . The damage it can do to your relationship is just not worth it. and everyday you fight the urge is another day you have won! 

[Now-or-never]

Welcome and congrats on taking the steps to come on here and start your life again. Your start sounds so similar to mine. I used to always win, had some massive wins esp for the amount I put in and wasn’t earning much. But the problem is, it hooks you in the long run the house always wins or they wouldn’t exist! Fast forward 9 years and my hubby and I are earning amazing money and we have nothing to show for it. Over the years I reckon I’m about 500k gone. First year of playing I was 5k up on 50 bets a visit (max). Now when I go it’s maxing the amount I can take out on whatever cards I can find. No one plans that, and if you continue I may be an example of what your life could look like.

what’s done is done. The only way we can move forward is drawing a line in the sand,leave the past in the past. It is never too late to take control. I’m only on day 8 and I’m so proud for not only making the first steps but for changing my thoughts and accepting what’s done is done. You have to give it up eventually, so why not now before more damage is done? You will never quit ahead. Let’s say you walk in tomorrow and by some 1 in a 100 million chance you win a jackpot of 9000, do you really think you could call it quits and walk away forever keeping all that money? You would think “I’m on a winning streak again” and off you go.

Keep posting here, keep your journal. Post your highs and lows and work out your triggers. Keep thinking positive, you have the willpower and strength to get through this!

[Now-or-never]

Spent yesterday making budgeting spreadsheets which was really motivating to see what we could achieve if we keep going. I’ve put the past mistakes behind me and know there is nothing I can do change what’s happened but can learn from
My mistakes.
It’s very strange having money in my account still 24 hours after being paid… good strange though

[Now-or-never]

Nice work! Keep on this track, you got this ! 

[Now-or-never]

I made it to day 5! I am so proud of myself! Wednesday’s are usually my biggest loss days too as mum watches the kids and I have all day and night to play. Getting through today has given my so much confidence I can do this. There was a couple of moment I thought just a quick 50, but now that I have a few days under my belt I thought even I did just do 50 (which would never happen) I’d be back on day one and I just don’t want to lose that.

My hubby is so proud of me too which is so nice

[Now-or-never]

You are 100% right, I need to go to get to a GA. I’ve done a lot of research around here and unfortunately there are none at times I could make arpund me, that’s how I stumbled into this group I’m going to join some of the calls on here soon, just not ready yet. I’m going to look into one on one councilling but I do think a group situation would be more benificial. 

[Now-or-never]

How are you holding up?

I’m fresh to the recovery scene, 3 days in. I have 2 kids under 4 and a hubby that’s not going to be around too if I continue. Though I haven’t put us in debt I’ve removed all of our saving and it’s upwoods of 250k (I haven’t brought myself to actually work it out). So I totally understand where you are and how hard it is, you are not alone.

But we can beat this. We can ignore that little voice in our head saying only a $50 cause it’s complete BS. Somethings I’m telling myself is

– I’m never going to win the amount I lost back. Period. It’s gone. If a miracle happens and I did I’m never going to walk out with it and quit, 100% I’ll lose it again and chase even more.

– my hubby hasn’t left, my kids still have a chance at an amazing future. As much damage as I’ve done if I continue the damage will be so much worse.

– we earn good money, if I’m smart with it we can get back in the green and trive as we are still young.

You need to work out your reason for gambling. If it’s to get back what you have lost then you know that’s not possible. For me I’ve finally figured out its to escape and I’m working on ways to have timeout without it.

You can do this. It’s not too late

[Now-or-never]

Another day gambling free and it feels great! I actually couldn’t have even if I wanted to as my little boy was sick today and attached to me like glue, but I didn’t think about it. I’m starting to come to the realisation that I gamble to switch off and escape. My life is great, there is no need to escape, but my time is never about me. There is always 100 things running through my head that of things that need to be done, always at least one child attached to me when I am home or out with them… I can’t even poop on my own atm. When I play there is no one talking to me, nothing going through my head but the game.
Now that I’m starting to realise that it’s going to be a lot easier to stay away and deal with that. I’ve downloaded a new game on my phone, building this village which I’m really enjoying. I can escape into that and switch off. I haven’t brought supplies to advance (and let’s face it even if I went mental I couldn’t do even 1/10 of the damage I do on a machine) but I don’t want to either. I take myself out the back and just play and escape, it’s great!

Tomorrow there will be opportunity to play, I am working so I have before, lunch and after. I’m going to organise to meet my mum for lunch, leave the house so that I’m late arriving if I go straight there and put on my exercise gear and walk home maybe even leave my wallet at work.

I’m really happy I’m actually starting to progress, the next 3 days will be filled with opportunities and if I can use them for good i can prove to myself and my hubby I can do this !

[Now-or-never]

Thanks for all your support guys. I managed not to gamble yesterday (though I was super busy so it made it easier) and 3/4ths through today. I’m so physically and mentally exhausted and just stuck in the crappiest of moods but instead of thinking I’ll just go gamble and I’ll feel better I’m blaming it for the way I feel. If I go back how I’m feeling right now will only be worse. If I make it through today it’s the furthest I’ve been (3rd attempts the trick right?!) I really want to do this

[Now-or-never]

Couldn’t even do 2 days and I broke. Started saying to myself just $50, prove I can have the will power to just do 50 and end up taking out the max I can. Why do I do this!?! I even won back the money then just upped my bets and lost it all! I’m so angry at myself. That voice in my head just got louder and louder and I know I can’t just do 50, I never have! My hubby hasn’t noticed yet I really hope he’s not too angry.
Worst part is I’ve sent the kids to school to look after my dog and I leave her alone for 3 hours and play. Ah I’m so angry at myself

[Now-or-never]

I’m sorry you relapsed but don’t beat yourself up its never to late to start again and you are here so you are on the right path. Think of those emails as a virus. If you received a virus letter from a bank saying you’ve won 1000 just enter in your credit card details to claim would you ? It’s exactly the same thing, they are literally taking your card and your money away from you in the hope that maybe just maybe you did win. Set a rule on your inbox so that anything with key words like casino go straight to junk

[Now-or-never]

I love this, thanks for sharing!

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