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That post is very heartfelt and emotional man. I feel that you have had a lot of scarring childhoood experiences and it is astonishing how strong that you are having been through all of that. A lot of people in your shoes that went through what you did would have given up, kept gambling, turned to drugs and alcohol.. you actually used it to fuel your recovery it seems and honestly it projects onto so many people in this forum, everyone you reply to , to be exact, and thats usually everyone. So steev, I thank you for your open ears, your words of advice and encouragement , your abstinence from gambling to show us there is hope and we can all beat this just like you did. I know you said you don’t have any family but honestly man, I feel like this forum and community is one big family and we all have similar experiences and shared some of the same struggles no matter what they may be. I’m wishing you a merry Christmas, a happy New Years, and I hope you have a great day.. I dream to visit those places you have travelled to one day, and without gambling, the finances will be there to do it and my peace of mind will be in the moment to enjoy Life. Thanks again for your precense here. the greatest Christmas gift is not a thing, it’s the help you have given to change people’s lives for the better, and that my friend is priceless.
take care my Friend
Many thanks to you too my friend.
you are an amazing person and part of this community and knowing you helped myself and many many others is commended. 2020 will be gamble free for us, I already know that.
wishing You a merry Christmas, and happy g free New Years. I hope you spend some quality time with your loved ones. This is a time of year I like to have a lot of gratitude… a lot of people less fortunate out there with nobody around them at Christmas. I don’t have many people in my life right now except for my family and well, all of you amazing people here that I consider my second family.
god bless you Vera
That mind set is what will get you through the dark days and keep you going until gambling is a distant memory. I can only imagine your pain of losing your wife and son man and I truly have no words to say how amazing you are for accepting your wrongs , a lot of us would point blame on the other person. I always say if we work on ourselves and we are content, we Will attract others with the same positive and happy lives. I believe your wife will be amazed at your progress and as cliche as it sounds, your actions are stronger than your words and you are showing not only her but yourself that you can get your gamble free life back and never look back. I believe 2020 will be gamble free for both of us, you can just kind of tell through someone’s posts when they have seen the light… when I was deep into my relapses you could tell I wasn’t ready to quit, but now when I speak of gambling and I read your posts too.. there is a sense of calm and relief that the worst part of the storm is over. Each day gamble free bring a a little less rain until there is nothing but sunshine brother. Take care of yourself and keep on posting. We all have your back here.
cheers
Chris I feel your pain brother and I have felt every emotion and told myself all of those things you mentioned above. I’m a loser, I have bad credit, all my friends are buying houses getting married, failure, degenerate the list can go on for days. This disease is something that we cannot control. It is literally out of our power, we are powerless over gambling man. You mentioned you had gone 5 months clean, then relapsed, it’s because we think we have beat it, and tell ourselves we can go play smarter, or less risk, or just for entertainment. But once our first bet is placed, it’s like an alcoholic , we won’t stop until every single penny is maxed out, most of the times chasing our original amount we came with. I’ll always remember 90% of my
Casino trips, bring x money, lose it.. take daily limit out of debit to try to get original loss, lose that. Call bank beg them to increase credit limit , they do, take out as much as the limit raise is, lose that. Go onto credit card, cash advance my daily limit, lose that. The amount of times I walked out of a casino feeling like a piece of human garbage, a piece of shit, I can’t even *****. You have to tell yourself you don’t want to feel that pain any longer. The longer you choose to gamble, the deeper the hole will get, and that’s just a fact. We will never win our money back that we lost, but we can make it so we don’t make it any worse at this very moment. You should be proud of 5 months clean time. Don’t think of your relapse as back at day 1, think of it as a slip up, think of all of the progress you made in that time off, remember how less stressed you were? Remember how much more available money you had? Remember how you slept better, ate healthier , exercises even? Had healthy relationships with your family? Partner, friends? This is all a life without gambling. With gambling we are depressed, anxious, mad, sad, sleepless nights, forgetting to eat, eating garbage, no working out, no social life, people don’t want to be around us, being don’t trust our words. I don’t want that and I know you don’t either. You have the power to stop and it will be the hardest thing you ever will do, but it is fully possible. Have you tried GA? You are so young man, I’m close to your age. We have so much time to rebuild if we stop now , The majority of people I met in GA were 40-60 years old. They told. Me they wished they came when they were in their 20s for help, because there is so much time to rebuild. Imagine trying at 50? After losing millions, families, houses, businesses, and their whole entire youth to this. We are talking 40 years of gambling. Man do you want that? You have gambled 4 years and I have gambled 10. Do you want to get to 10 also? Or do you want to say your gambling addiction was 4 years? I want mine to be 10, and I won’t live one more day gambling or else we will he just like those older gamblers who wished we could have stopped 20 years earlier. You can get your life back bro, you really can. It’s up to you. How much work are you willing to put into your recovery? Do you want it bad, or do you just kind of want to stop? I know you want it bad I know you don’t want to feel this pain ever again and I’m here as living proof you don’t have to. I quit gambling 75 days ago after losing my life savings, my business, had to move back home with my parents at age 30 and am paying off 30k of gambling debt right now. One year at my new job basically will be for free to pay this off. I beg you don’t take it where I am man. You can stop now. I believe in you and know there is always the light at the end of the tunnel. Decide right now you are done for good.Merry Christmas man and sorry for rambling. I hope my words helped you in any way and know you are not alone.
I have just read your thread brother and let me say I commend your strength but more so I am amazed at how kind and compassionate and positive you are to not only others, but yourself in this difficult time. Not even knowing you I can tell that you are a great person, selfless. Caring, warm Hearted family man that got overpowered by this addiction just like myself and many others. It’s so good you are posting and tracking your thoughts and progress, I truly thing it helps keep us accountable so we don’t slip up. Like you I had chased losses and dug a deep hole of debt, lost a gf, lost my business, lost every available money and didn’t have e a job, forcing me to move back in with my parents at age 30. It just goes to show this disease does not discriminate bro. It will show us rock bottoms that we never even knew existed, and we will never live a happy life if there is gambling involved. You are on the right track and 20 days gamble free is a huge accomplishment for a compulsive gambler, do know it only gets better as the gamble free days go on. Let’s never forget what this addiction did to us, and use it as a lesson to grow as human beings. It truly sounds like you never want to gamble again. I really hope it works out for you ahd your wife and son, and you get that happiness and joy back like we all had before gambling. It’s still there, and it’s a beautiful life without trying to become a millionaire hoping a ball lands on a number of 37 chances. If you really think about it… we are better than that. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Wishing you all the best for 2020, you are worth it and you deserve it my man. God bless
You have to be more kind to yourself Brother. Be more compassionate with how you speak to yourself during these times. You cannot change the past, you cannot change what you did and neither can I nor anyone else. But we can learn from this and grow. We can never make the same mistake again, we can rebuild our life gamble free, we can make money back, we can have gamble free time. time with loved ones, family, friends, partners. People spend money they have on gifts for you because they know you are a good person, you are not a bad person for being a compulsive gambler. You had an addiction That you are working at beating everyday. Remember the true meaning of Christmas is not gifts.. it’s moments
spent with those close to you. And if you can continue gamble free, to me that is the greatest gift of all that you can Give yourself ; and also to those around you that You think you’ve hurt with this addiction.
merry Christmas brother stay strongyou have not lost the chance to be a father and a husband. You have that chance as long as you’re alive. And you will
Overcome this addiction with the proper help and tools.
It’s never to late to better your life and you’ve made the first step.