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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 325 total)
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  • MurrS7
    Participant

    Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I really appreciate it. If I can inspire you to stop and keep going, that is what the meaning of life is, to inspire , to motivate. To help make a change. Trust me I have had too many day 1s to c ount. That feeling of thinking you have beat it, to then tell your brain you will go gamble “smarter” and leave while you’re up… to then losing everything once again. It made me sick to my stomach and it makes me sick to my stomach to think about the financial and more so mental damage I had done and am still paying for now. However you need to think of that feeling of losing a montgs salary in a day.. the next time you have an urge to gamble. It is only when we forget that feeling that we think it’s ok to go back to gamble.. dont forget it. 10 years I battled on and off, 1 year was my worst from last sept. Lost everything. Never thought I could stop… only stopped when I literally had access to no more credit… keep going.. have you tried counseilling ? Or ga? I find those helped me and also staying busy.. working lots.. gym.. spend time with loved ones. The worst part of gambling is we miss out on a lot of life… and we can’t get that time back. You can stop and you can stay stopped. I know we all have it in us. Today is my 4 month and 5 day mark gamble free, I want to see you get there too and I know you can, blessings.

    MurrS7
    Participant

    I appreicate it. You got that right . It is the worst one for me.

    but there is hope, for me and for you and for everyone 

    that is struggling. Best wishes to you and your loved ones for this new year. blessings. 

    MurrS7
    Participant

    Brother thank you I hope you are staying on track too 

    man on wards and upwards no looking back! God bless 

    MurrS7
    Participant

    Thanks for those words I-d-I. Sorry I have been far too busy to Check on the forum the past month or so. I appreciate your words and kindness. Well just thought I would come on here for an update since it has been a bit. I have started my new job on Jan 13 and it is a career that I have no previous experience in so it has all been very overwhelming for me but I am determined to succeed. I have been gamble free for 3 months and 23 days total, and I don’t think of gambling for even one second of my day. The only reminder I have from gambling is when I open up my bank app and see my debt, but ever two weeks I put 75% of my paycheque to my debt, which will have me debt free in around 7-8 months time. Basically I am volunteering at my new job for just under a year due to my gambling addiction. I have also been sober from alcohol and substances for nearly 2 months and that as well is a huge accomplishment for me. With my new job I really have to have a clear mind, or I will not succeed, the workload is far too strenuous. Being gamble free for around 113 days feels .. well.. almost like a relief and a weight has been lifted off of my shoulder… I never thought I would be able to get out of it. Gambling was probably the worse addiction I’ve ever had in my life, because the damage I did to my brain, finances, happiness, was like no other. However I have re wired my brain now and it can only get better from here. My main focus is paying off my debts , staying sober, working out 7 days a week and mastering my new position in my new career. I hope everyone here is well, you won’t be seeing me much because of my new roll and how busy my schedule is but I will leave on this note. Anybody who is facing this addiction and it caught in the wrath right now, it can get better. You can beat this. You will beat this with the proper resources and the right mind set. I am living proof from Someone who lost every penny to their name, maxed out credit cards, lines of credit, overdrafts, lied, ruined relationships… it can all be reversed I promise you that because I am here today a new man than when I was a gambling addict , and that’s just in 113 days. To name a few people who I always have nothing but respect and gratitude for. Meghna(you have helped me become this new man) Jen, Vera, idi, seanraj, Kin, Monica, Ryan. Thank You all from the bottom of my heart and with every ounce of my soul, for helping me through some Of my darkest days here on earth. Take care all, and keep fighting. Love

    MurrS7
    Participant

    My brother thank you. truly your words and kindness are very much appreciated. you are the type of person who keeps me on the right track to stay gamble free. Your positivity in this Forum is what we all need man, truly your words can help someone in the darkest time, and that my friend is very special. You too are a great person even having never met you, and I know you will stay on the right track of living happy and gamble free, if you ever get the urge, reach out.. I will try everything I can to help you. i Wish I reached out to people here before I relapsed, instead of After the damage was done over and over. Have a great New Years brother. All The best to you and your loved ones. And to a g free 2020.

    love

    MurrS7
    Participant

    “Another lesson: gratitude is the cure for greed. One cannot become consumed by greed when they are grateful for what they already have, or even just for being alive.”

    Day 80 gamble free. 100 days is so close I can see it in clear sight.

    Happy gamble free New Years to all.
    Health is wealth (mental and physical)

    in reply to: My journey. #52021
    MurrS7
    Participant

    That post is very heartfelt and emotional man. I feel that you have had a lot of scarring childhoood experiences and it is astonishing how strong that you are having been through all of that. A lot of people in your shoes that went through what you did would have given up, kept gambling, turned to drugs and alcohol.. you actually used it to fuel your recovery it seems and honestly it projects onto so many people in this forum, everyone you reply to , to be exact, and thats usually everyone. So steev, I thank you for your open ears, your words of advice and encouragement , your abstinence from gambling to show us there is hope and we can all beat this just like you did. I know you said you don’t have any family but honestly man, I feel like this forum and community is one big family and we all have similar experiences and shared some of the same struggles no matter what they may be. I’m wishing you a merry Christmas, a happy New Years, and I hope you have a great day.. I dream to visit those places you have travelled to one day, and without gambling, the finances will be there to do it and my peace of mind will be in the moment to enjoy Life. Thanks again for your precense here. the greatest Christmas gift is not a thing, it’s the help you have given to change people’s lives for the better, and that my friend is priceless.

    take care my Friend 

    in reply to: 2019 Review #53275
    MurrS7
    Participant

    Many thanks to you too my friend.

    you are an amazing person and part of this community and knowing you helped myself and many many others is commended. 2020 will be gamble free for us, I already know that.

    wishing You a merry Christmas, and happy g free New Years. I hope you spend some quality time with your loved ones. This is a time of year I like to have a lot of gratitude… a lot of people less fortunate out there with nobody around them at Christmas. I don’t have many people in my life right now except for my family and well, all of you amazing people here that I consider my second family.

    god bless you Vera 

    in reply to: DAY 1 #53445
    MurrS7
    Participant

    That mind set is what will get you through the dark days and keep you going until gambling is a distant memory. I can only imagine your pain of losing your wife and son man and I truly have no words to say how amazing you are for accepting your wrongs , a lot of us would point blame on the other person. I always say if we work on ourselves and we are content, we Will attract others with the same positive and happy lives. I believe your wife will be amazed at your progress and as cliche as it sounds, your actions are stronger than your words and you are showing not only her but yourself that you can get your gamble free life back and never look back. I believe 2020 will be gamble free for both of us, you can just kind of tell through someone’s posts when they have seen the light… when I was deep into my relapses you could tell I wasn’t ready to quit, but now when I speak of gambling and I read your posts too.. there is a sense of calm and relief that the worst part of the storm is over. Each day gamble free bring a a little less rain until there is nothing but sunshine brother. Take care of yourself and keep on posting. We all have your back here.

    cheers

    in reply to: Need Help #53784
    MurrS7
    Participant

    Chris I feel your pain brother and I have felt every emotion and told myself all of those things you mentioned above. I’m a loser, I have bad credit, all my friends are buying houses getting married, failure, degenerate the list can go on for days. This disease is something that we cannot control. It is literally out of our power, we are powerless over gambling man. You mentioned you had gone 5 months clean, then relapsed, it’s because we think we have beat it, and tell ourselves we can go play smarter, or less risk, or just for entertainment. But once our first bet is placed, it’s like an alcoholic , we won’t stop until every single penny is maxed out, most of the times chasing our original amount we came with. I’ll always remember 90% of my
    Casino trips, bring x money, lose it.. take daily limit out of debit to try to get original loss, lose that. Call bank beg them to increase credit limit , they do, take out as much as the limit raise is, lose that. Go onto credit card, cash advance my daily limit, lose that. The amount of times I walked out of a casino feeling like a piece of human garbage, a piece of shit, I can’t even *****. You have to tell yourself you don’t want to feel that pain any longer. The longer you choose to gamble, the deeper the hole will get, and that’s just a fact. We will never win our money back that we lost, but we can make it so we don’t make it any worse at this very moment. You should be proud of 5 months clean time. Don’t think of your relapse as back at day 1, think of it as a slip up, think of all of the progress you made in that time off, remember how less stressed you were? Remember how much more available money you had? Remember how you slept better, ate healthier , exercises even? Had healthy relationships with your family? Partner, friends? This is all a life without gambling. With gambling we are depressed, anxious, mad, sad, sleepless nights, forgetting to eat, eating garbage, no working out, no social life, people don’t want to be around us, being don’t trust our words. I don’t want that and I know you don’t either. You have the power to stop and it will be the hardest thing you ever will do, but it is fully possible. Have you tried GA? You are so young man, I’m close to your age. We have so much time to rebuild if we stop now , The majority of people I met in GA were 40-60 years old. They told. Me they wished they came when they were in their 20s for help, because there is so much time to rebuild. Imagine trying at 50? After losing millions, families, houses, businesses, and their whole entire youth to this. We are talking 40 years of gambling. Man do you want that? You have gambled 4 years and I have gambled 10. Do you want to get to 10 also? Or do you want to say your gambling addiction was 4 years? I want mine to be 10, and I won’t live one more day gambling or else we will he just like those older gamblers who wished we could have stopped 20 years earlier. You can get your life back bro, you really can. It’s up to you. How much work are you willing to put into your recovery? Do you want it bad, or do you just kind of want to stop? I know you want it bad I know you don’t want to feel this pain ever again and I’m here as living proof you don’t have to. I quit gambling 75 days ago after losing my life savings, my business, had to move back home with my parents at age 30 and am paying off 30k of gambling debt right now. One year at my new job basically will be for free to pay this off. I beg you don’t take it where I am man. You can stop now. I believe in you and know there is always the light at the end of the tunnel. Decide right now you are done for good.

    Merry Christmas man and sorry for rambling. I hope my words helped you in any way and know you are not alone.

    in reply to: DAY 1 #53443
    MurrS7
    Participant

    I have just read your thread brother and let me say I commend your strength but more so I am amazed at how kind and compassionate and positive you are to not only others, but yourself in this difficult time. Not even knowing you I can tell that you are a great person, selfless. Caring, warm Hearted family man that got overpowered by this addiction just like myself and many others. It’s so good you are posting and tracking your thoughts and progress, I truly thing it helps keep us accountable so we don’t slip up. Like you I had chased losses and dug a deep hole of debt, lost a gf, lost my business, lost every available money and didn’t have e a job, forcing me to move back in with my parents at age 30. It just goes to show this disease does not discriminate bro. It will show us rock bottoms that we never even knew existed, and we will never live a happy life if there is gambling involved. You are on the right track and 20 days gamble free is a huge accomplishment for a compulsive gambler, do know it only gets better as the gamble free days go on. Let’s never forget what this addiction did to us, and use it as a lesson to grow as human beings. It truly sounds like you never want to gamble again. I really hope it works out for you ahd your wife and son, and you get that happiness and joy back like we all had before gambling. It’s still there, and it’s a beautiful life without trying to become a millionaire hoping a ball lands on a number of 37 chances. If you really think about it… we are better than that. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Wishing you all the best for 2020, you are worth it and you deserve it my man. God bless

    MurrS7
    Participant

    Thank you for taking the time to read my thread brother it is truly appreciated and if it helped you in anyway from my posts or the posts of others , that’s what matters the most. I believe we all have it in us to quit, there are some very low bottoms that weve experienced with this demon And one day you just say I’ve had enough.. I don’t want to feel this way for one more second while I’m on this earth. 18 days is great bro and it will only get better. I am so sorry you almost lost your Family and your divorce, these are traumatic experiences which usually cause people to gamble, it is good you are done with that because it only masks the pain(when we win) when we lose it is 100x more painful with our other life issues plus our financial losses… we don’t want to feel this way. It is nice you are on vacation and can do some soul searching brother, it will make you see how beautiful life can be without gambling. I will read your thread tomorrow and give you any advice I can to help you, as you did that for me and I truly appreciate it. Have a very merry Christmas and New Years, and enjoy your vacation.

    MurrS7
    Participant

    I apprdciate  your kind words and encouragement and for all the help you’ve given me throughout this bumpy journey. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and although life isn’t the greatest at the moment, gambling isn’t in my life to make it worse. Wishing you a merry Christmas, happy New Years. And another gamble free year for you and me. your presence in this forum is never unnoticed and you have helped myself and probably hundreds of others get through some dark times with this addiction. 
    cheers!

    in reply to: Resisting the urge #53175
    MurrS7
    Participant

    You have to be more kind to yourself Brother. Be more compassionate with how you speak to yourself during these times. You cannot change the past, you cannot change what you did and neither can I nor anyone else. But we can learn from this and grow. We can never make the same mistake again, we can rebuild our life gamble free, we can make money back, we can have gamble free time. time with loved ones, family, friends, partners. People spend money they have on gifts for you because they know you are a good person, you are not a bad person for being a compulsive gambler. You had an addiction That you are working at beating everyday. Remember the true meaning of Christmas is not gifts.. it’s moments

    spent with those close to you. And if you can continue gamble free, to me that is the greatest gift of all that you can Give yourself ; and also to those around you that You think you’ve hurt with this addiction. 
    merry Christmas brother stay strong

    in reply to: I am struggling #53777
    MurrS7
    Participant

    you have not lost the chance to be a father and a husband. You have that chance as long as you’re alive. And you will
    Overcome this addiction with the proper help and tools.
    It’s never to late to better your life and you’ve made the first step.

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 325 total)