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Thanks for posting a message on my thread. We do share a lot in our stories. Let’s hope that the thing we share now is that we can stop forever.
It can be done, we know that because we both have stopped for a period of time.
I am finally accessing all the support I can get and will go on doing so. I have finally admitted gambling has me beat. I come on here when I feel “weak” and remind myself of why I am here.
It is possible. Take care, I will follow your postsHi
I get a lot of what you have been saying. Good move to get counselling and ban yourself.
I have done and it helps for sure. You can talk about reasons that make you want to gamble and get your feelings out there. It’s obviously not like taking a car to the garage, where you are going to come out “fixed” quickly, it will take time and everybody will be different.
It’s something I should have done years ago.
Like you I get urges that come in waves. I can feel positive that I can stop, that things can turn around and that in time everything can be so much better.
Then I get times that I feel really bad and think about all the times I could have stopped. Maybe another go might win some money back and I would feel better.
I come on here when I feel like that, read back through my own post and look at other posts, to remind me that gambling just causes us more misery and pain.
Keep trying to look forwards.
I have done quite a bit of rock climbing in my time, though not lately as I have been too consumed by all this.
I liken it now to looking at a cliff face. There are two possible routes up.
One is hard, beyond our ability but we keep trying and keep falling off, we think it is the quickest way up, we want to try and prove ourselves in some way. On this route we have also hit the ground and hurt ourselves many times.
The other route is more straightforward, lots of attainable moves, there are even some bolts we can clip onto for support. Maybe it is more boring but it still leads to the top.
I finally have realised which route I need to take!
Take care buddyYou are doing great
Great words
I have just jumped my car will be driving that behind you on the highway out of here!!!Money and time are things we all lose.
Time to take action
Try and forget about the money it has gone.
Coming on here works
Counselling works
Blockers work
Filling your time with productive things works
I am in early days my friend so I am not trying to be smug or preach. I have made plenty of mistakes. Just saying what has worked for me so far.
There is a better life out there without gambling.
I was thinking about something tonight. Everybody on this site really is incredibly strong. To plough on with the burden of gambling is immense!!! It really is.
Imagine who we could be without it?????
Take care
MarkI would echo the thoughts that you are not alone in your battle. This site is like a godsend and whenever you are feeling like you want to gamble then post something or read other posts to remind yourself of the trouble it will bring.
I like Rayman’s idea of ALWAYS remembering that sick feeling you get when you have have lost. I will be trying to do that. It is incredible how in the past I have had gambling benders, felt awful, had sleepless nights, said never again. However even within hours that can almost all be forgotten.
I like a lot of Monica’s posts on here, so read them – yes, thank you so much for sharing them Monica if you read this –
as she has said you have to surrender, that gambling has us beat, use help and take things step by step.
By the way the whole thing about delaying withdrawals, (by stalling account verification for example)only being able to withdraw a certain amount should be outlawed. It is clearly a process designed to frustrate/encourage problem gamblers like us. I won’t bang on too much about that now though. It’s a big trap, full stop, please let us all stay out of it.
Take care
Mark xIf I can be honest with you I would make every effort to stop now.
I have screwed up 2 relationships because of gambling. I used to say gambling was a factor but that there were other problems too. However I was still in denial. They were loving women who ran out of patience.
If I hadn’t gambled I would have been in a far better place to communicate and solve any issues arising in my relationships. I gambled to escape reality and would become withdrawn and moody. Gambling was the problem I admit that now.
Looking back I should have confronted life issues, talked about my emotions and gained help.
Again if you pardon me shooting from the hip. If you have decent friends they will understand if you quit gambling. You can always meet up with them at other times.
Man, I have said those points to try and stop you falling down the same hole as me.
Take care buddyYou have come to the right place to talk about gambling issues so well done on that first step.
I can relate to many points you have made. As compulsive gamblers we can never just walk away.
Looking at it the way we are “wired up” just means if we gamble we will always lose. Many times I have been up but one, two or even all three of the following will apply
a) you start to think you are invincible and carry on
b) you just get plain greedy
c) you are just so much into the gambling “zone” you carry on regardless
Plus if alcohol is involved then it is far more likely to worsen the problem.
I have had many gambling benders over the years but I have finally recognised that I need help. Looks like you have reached that point too.
For myself I have installed a blocker on my laptop as that is where I have done all the big damage and I limit my time on it as i think it became an emotional crutch. I signed up for counselling. I have cut right back on drinking alcohol and intend to give up altogether. This site has been a great help too and as many people on here would say it is about taking actions.
My advice would be to get yourself excluded from all the casinos in your area. Not the total solution but will help you when you get an urge to gamble. Speak to a counsellor, it will help to offload your thoughts.
Sounds like your home life is good, think about telling your wife when you are ready. It will help your case if you say you are taking positive action. It would be good to get her support. That last one is totally up to you though, if you really think that she will flip then it’s your call. One thing is for certain though, if you carry on she will find out.
All the best
Markbeen off the site for a bit. staying away from laptop and gambling urges. installed betblocker but don’t think it covers all the gambling sites.
don’t beat yourself up. i have lost ***** of all the times i should have stopped. keep working on reasons not to gamble, that is what i am trying to do and seems to be working so far, but it is really hard. dust yourself off, try again