[lynnie14]

I am a few days late, but congrats on your 2 years.  Well done!!
Lynn

[lynnie14]

I made a statement tonight in chat that struck me.  I guess I haven’t said it before.  Why I stopped gambling.  I wanted to stop hating myself.  Interesting thought for me.  To actually hate oneself.   Lot’s of damage you can cause yourself when you feel that way.  To love yourself, now I am not quite there.  Maybe I will never get there, but i will keep trying.  Hope you all do too. 

[lynnie14]

Thanks P, not sure that it is for me.  But really that’s ok too.   As long as I stay gamble free it doesn’t really matter how I get there.  That’s always my philosophy.  We all live very differnt lives and have very different life experiences, values, morals, beliefs, etc.  I don’t need to do "your" (not you, the universal you) recovery, I need to do mine.  And to be real honest,"you" need to "yours" (again universal you).   That’s what makes the world go round.  
So I am in my new home.  It’s been 3 weeks and I absolutely adore this house.  I love everything about it.  It still doesn’t feel like mine, but wow is it a fantastic home.  I bought this house on my own after a very nasty divorce and a rocky 2nd marriage. We have managed to stay together for 5 years after 3 separations.  Who knows when the next comes, but this is my home.  I will own it all on my own until I die.  Maybe that’s why I love it so much.  I did this all on my own.  Sometimes when people say you are strong willed or independent that can be an insult.  Right now I will say that is a compliment.  My kids have a place and they will never lose that.  Wow, I probably should not put this thought in cyber space.  But I will.  It’s mine and I earned it through the last 5 years.  Now, stay gamble free Lynnie.

[lynnie14]

Eddie (not rabbit, of course), i am sorry I did not get my chance to meet you.  I am thinking it was my one shot and work got in the way.  Could get in the way again soon, my client with behaviors just got a medical diagnosis that is life threatening and I don’t know how she will react.  I hope not another 3,000 worth.  Our government is going to cut our programs again and how do you support someone with more ***** with less dollars (that’s my democratic side talking). Pawlenty is planning to run, I will not vote for him if it comes to that!!!! 
Anyway, I don’t know if I would have loved the rambling off topic, I never do well with that.  I supervise people and programs and need people to be quick and concise.   30 minutes to discuss something that has gone on just kills me.  I think, jesus, please shut up.  Get to the point.  I have other things to do.   I do understand the distance, and of course gas prices do not justify you going to Eagan.  So here is my thought:  we meet at some point or just don’t and wish each other well in our battle.  Your support on this site means the world to me so I am fine with just
Lynn, I have gone to one GA meeting and it was awful.  Not that anyone was awful, just how I felt about it.  I did not speak.  But with me it takes awhile to do that anyway.  I was very new in recovery and not even remotely ready to do that.  I did it to please someone else.  Never going to work unless you do something for yourself.   Can’t decide if I want to pursue GA or just try my damnest to do this on my own.  I am deliberately waiting until Fridays to even look at the site.  I am doing ok with that.   Even get some slack at home for needing to look on Fridays.  I guess by now I should have been "cured".   I hope things are going well with you and you are fighting the good fight. 
 
 

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