[lizbeth4]

My Daughter and Granddaughter are moving to the city tomorrow. I helped her pack up her van and spent most of the day with my Granddaughter. I’ve had a upset stomach all day. I’m so worried that she will relapse. I’m being supportive but voicing my worries. She has promised to come home if things don’t work out and to keep in contact with me. I’m sure going to miss seeing my Granddaughter everyday. Yesterday my sweet Grandson called to tell me he loved me. He made my day! My state refund was processed and will be deposited to my account in 2 days. It will pay the second half of my property taxes and my HOA fees for the year. Another debt paid. I need to be very conscious about not gambling. When I’m upset, stressed, I seem to relapse. I can’t do it again! I have to keep myself busy.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica, Wow, you’ve been busy! I’m very happy for you that things are changing in a positive way. Keep going. It will be a adjustment for you when Pete has moved out but change is good! Take care!

[lizbeth4]

My Sister just left to go home. My Mother’s Day was Good! We made dinner at home and played card games. I enjoyed spending time with my Sister. She has talked me into making jewelry again as she is making jewelry. I’m going to try some new techniques and venture off of my usual stuff. If all goes well we are going to sell our items at local craft shows later this year. Maybe for Xmas. It will give me something to do during the winter also. My Daughter is waiting for her tax return money so she can move back to the city. I’m really trying to be positive and supportive . It’s hard! I will miss my Granddaughter. My garden is taking off. I have a lot of strawberries and my peach tree is going to have a lot of fruit. I have many home projects and maintenance to keep me busy. I have to remember to take time for me. I deserve it! No gambling =peaceful Life!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks i-did-it and Laura for your supportive posts! My Sister arrived this afternoon. She had a long talk with my Daughter and basically reiterated everything I had said. Our big concern is that she has no family support there. She gave me the most beautiful Mother’s Day card. I feel like I’ve done the best I could and that she will call me if she needs me. I want her to do well on her own. I’ve made a life board so I have a visual reminder of my dreams and goals. I have a chart listing all of my debts and I mark them off when they are paid. I’m a visual person and this helps keep me on tract. Some I have the last creditor a payment this month, I won’t be getting internet till June. I’m managing fine without it. I had enough money to rent movies and purchase a few more. I was able toi buy my Mother some beautiful orchids and her favorite candy for Mother’s Day. Life isn’t perfect but it’s so much better without gambling!

[lizbeth4]

Today my Daughter and Granddaughter came back from the city. She’s decided that she wants to live there. I knew this was coming and I understand her reasons. She plans on moving in with a friend who also has a young daughter. We talked and she is taking her time and making sure that everything is solid before she moves. I reiterated that I’m always here for her and I’m being supportive. This has prompted me into making plans for myself. Exercise is on the top of my list. I’m going to keep chipping away at my debt. 22-30 months from now and all of my debts will be paid off. I’ve set up a repayment plan with the newest creditor who wouldn’t agree with the debt consolidation plan. They will be paid off in 9 Months. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m already planning a week long road trip via car instead of RV when this goal is met. It’s a place I’ve wanted to see. It’s time to take action and to put my traveling desires into reality. I think that gambling and the consequences have made me want to fulfil my dreams even more. Life is short and it’s time to take action!

[lizbeth4]

Laura, seems like you are real busy! It’s so much better than the alternative, gambling! My Daughter and Granddaughter have been in the city for almost a week, so it’s been quiet here. I took my Mother shopping and out for lunch yesterday. She’s getting so fragile. I’m glad that my Sister will be here this weekend. Her visits are few because she is still working. My house and garden are my peaceful places. My paradise. I’m very fortunate to have found this place. I’m grateful everyday! Life is getting better for me without gambling.

[lizbeth4]

Laura, I ‘ve given my worries about both of my Daughters over to God. They are going to have to learn from their mistakes. It does me more harm worrying. Not good for your health. The position I wanted is filled. Bummer! I spent the morning watering my garden and roses and enjoying my yard. I have strawberries already! I think my veggie garden is going to be awesome this year. I’ve been laxed on my morning walks but I’m starting again tomorrow. Persistance!!! My Sister will be here this weekend. Looking forward to spending time with her. I think I am going to break down and order internet soon. LOL! But I’m cutting the cable. I can live without it. My life is pretty peaceful these days. Just how I like it!

[lizbeth4]

Monica, I hope your first day of work is wonderful. I admire your resilience and motivation. It is very inspiring to me. I agree that how we are raised has great influence on our lives. Both positive and negative. Coming from a very dysfunctional childhood, the 3 most positive people in my life were my Grandmother, my 1st grade teacher, Mrs Noble and my 6th grade teacher, Mr Olsen. They taught me that I could achieve anything that I wanted to and to never give up! I think of them all often. You are turning everything around and you never give up. Those are great qualities to have. I wish you all the best as you truly deserve it!!

[lizbeth4]

Today I spent a few hours with my neighbor across the street from me. Her son passed away about 1 month ago. She is 80 years old but seems a lot younger. She was lonely and sad. I’ve only spoken with her a few times. It was meant for me to be there. I cried with her and gave her hugs. She said she felt much better when I was leaving. I want to help people. I know it sounds simplistic but I feel that is my calling. I’m going back to my last job interview place tomorrow as it was working with mentally disabled adults. I’m not sure why I wasn’t selected as they provide training but I’m going to try and get the position. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

[lizbeth4]

PS: I’ve paid 1/2 of my property taxes! Still waiting for my state tax refund which will pay the other half. It won’t go to savings as originally planned! But I am making progress on my debts.

[lizbeth4]

I-did-it, your ideas are greatly appreciated. I do a lot and I’m afraid of biting off more than I can chew. It would have to be part time work. I can make it on what I earn, debt repayment and all but I don’t have money to save for emergencies, ect… This bothers me greatly. My life is a little topsy turvy right now as my Daughter’s work hours fluctuate and my Mother’s forgetfulness is getting worse. But sometimes I just want to do what I think is best for me!!! But then I feel selfish. Ugh!!! Today I’ve watered my garden (looking good) and I’m doing some housekeeping. No urges but for some reason my sleeping pattern is off.

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Laura and I-did-it for your posts! I think I will appreciate my vegetable garden and fruit trees more this year as I am eating meat free. 8 months now! I can’t wait to taste it all! Although I am motivated to plant a garden, keep my yard and 13 rose bushes and flowering shrubs and trees healthy and to put my energy in my family, I find I have no motivation to get a job or volunteer. Something I should be doing. Honestly, I don’t want to interact with other people excluding friends and family. My friend circle has always been small but tight. I know I need to expand my horizons but it’s a hurdle that I’m having trouble with. Maybe it’s reflected in my last 2 job interviews. Maybe something negative is coming through to others. Something else to work on!!!! Growing takes work!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Monica for your post! I treated myself to a new journal/diary today. I ordered it online. Monica, you gave me the idea in one of your posts! I think it will be very beneficial. Trying to get motivated this morning. I need more caffeine. LOL! Have a great gamble free weekend everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Today was a good day! First, I realized that I made the last payment on a high interest loan this month. That money can go to the new creditor. I will call them next week with a proposal. I purchased my vegetable seeds and plants. This weekend the garden will be planted. Exciting! I’ve had good success in the past. My strawberries are blooming and my peach and apple trees will be producing in a few months. It does save money, keeps me busy and tastes yummy! I’ve decided to go 1 more month without the internet! I’ve purchased some movies at a yard sale at $1 a piece. I’m reading more and getting things done around here. My Mother even complimented me on how good my front and back yards look. Next month I am going to start painting the inside of my house. Everything is white but a accent wall in my dining room. Time for change!!! I’m feeling very motivated. The fire here is 50% contained. The winds are bringing a lot of smoke into town. It was caused by a illegal campfire! Fire restrictions are in force!!! Being gamble free makes life a lot better! Time for more exciting things and goals!

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica and thanks for your post. The rain and snow helped firefighters keep the fire from spreading. No more rain. In the forecast. Feeling better. Watching my Granddaughter a few hours this morning. Going to the store later for topsoil and seeds Time to plant my veggie garden. Something to keep me busy and to reap the benefits of fresh produce. I hope everyone has a great gamble free day!

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