[lizbeth4]

So this,morning I walked 2.11 mikes. I’m taking my neighbor to the library this morning. I’m feeling ok. Church wasn’t all that great. I didn’t feel the fellowship. Maybe it’s me. There are things happening in my life that I can’t discuss on this forum but they are deeply affecting Mr. I’m working through them, slowly. I have faith that I will come out of these trials for the better. The stress is a trigger for me. I pray I have the strength to get through this!!!

[lizbeth4]

It’s been a quiet day! I will be walking solo starting tomorrow. My Mother is unable physically to continue. Earlier I felt myself going into a pity party mood. Thinking of finances. About 1/2 of my monthly income goes to debts from gambling and overspending. After car,payment, insurance, and utilities, ect…i have roughly 8 percent to live off of monthly. I know I must learn patience. Starting in October, 1 debt will be paid and they will continue to be paid. I just feel discouraged sometimes. But I have to look at the big picture and remember what got me in this situation. I need to keep moving forward and try to be grateful for what I have. I will stay positive!

[lizbeth4]

Laura, I’m so sorry to hear about the death in your family. Being gamble free means you were able to be present for the funeral. Today has been so peaceful. I watched movies and took a nap. It’s still lightly raining which has caused the temperature to drop. Such a lovely day! Being gamble free is fantastic! But I am still working on the causes and stressors of what caused me to gamble. Although sometimes painful, this is part of my recovery. I’m so grateful for the support here and the love from a handful of friends I have whom I regard as family. Tomorrow I take another leap and go to a new church. It’s time.

[lizbeth4]

Long needed rain today! I’m staying in my PJS watching movies. My doors are opened. Smelling and hearing the gentle, light rain. So wonderful. Smells so clean. Yesterday my spirit was down. Just a mood I’ve been in. It seems like the harder I try, the more I struggle. Unexpected expense throws a wrench In my already tight budget. I thought of selling a few precious items but took them off the site. Just can’t part with them. I will get through. Yesterday I had a long phone conversation with a dear friend of 29 years. Afterwards, I felt better than I have in a long time. She loves me for me. We have a lot in common. She’s family. I have renewed hope that I can keep fighting this addiction and that I’m worthy of a great life!

[lizbeth4]

Bad day! Feel like I’m surrounded by negative people. My people pleaser side wants to make it better but that’s at my expense. So today, I will practice self care. I can’t change anyone but myself.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve been walking every morning and my Mom has joined me. So I’m going at a slower pace but that’s ok. We both need the exercise. I’m in a little better frame of mind. Things are ok in my life. It could be a lot worse. I hope everyone has a great gamble free day.

[lizbeth4]

Monica, I am digging myself out of my gambing mess, (debts) it’s hard to face but once you do, it’s freeing also. Try to only commit to what you can afford to pay. I don’t know what your options are where you live. Bankruptcy would have been easier that committing to paying off my debts but wasn’t a option for me because I wasn’t willing to sell assets. It will be alright. This is unfortunately one of the remainders of our gambling. Youv e been through so much and have overcome so much. You are a strong woman and will conquer this also!!!! Stay positive!!!

[lizbeth4]

Struggling Today! Not only with gambling but other issues in my life. My Dr’s appointment is in August. Small town, not many Dr’s. Something happened today that rocked me to the core. I won’t go into details but it left me scared and angry. There is nothing that I can do about it. No recourse! One of the downfalls of living in a small town. Thankfully my Mother was there to comfort me and was on my side. It’s time for me to totally get myself together. No more loose ends. We have one life too live and we need to make it the best we can! I’m not giving up!

[lizbeth4]

My youngest Daughter just sent me the most positive news! Her job is going well as is her living arrangements. My Granddaughter is doing great. My Daughter is getting much needed dental work done! She’s my hero and my example that anything is possible. You can achieve anything if you want it bad enough!

[lizbeth4]

Thank you i-did-it for your caring post. I’m just feeling down about my life. Who can change this? Me!!! I seem to retreat when feeling down, which makes it worse. I know I have to do something to change this around. I’m mentally drained. It’s going to be a early night.

[lizbeth4]

Congratulations on your GF time! Your story is very inspirational for me. I hope your gut issues lessen soon.

[lizbeth4]

Kathryn, Your post means so much to me! I hope to be in the position, money wise, to enjoy and plan trips also. You should be proud of your gamble free time. That’s a big accomplishment. You give me hope. When your Mother passed, it really hit me hard. I could feel your pain. It was a turning point with my relationship between my Mother and I. I no longer look at her with pain and apprehension. I look at her with love and care. Kathryn, your Mother is all around you. You just can’t see her. My weekend was rough. I’ve come to a conclusion that some major things have to change in my life. Things that are causing me a lot of sadness and will destroy me. It’s time to see my Dr and counselor again. Maybe I would benefit from a light antidepressant. The mind can be a scary thing. I’ve always resisted medications but anxiety attacks are so scary. I need to get some relief. I can’t obsess with what can go wrong. I have to see the joy and happiness in things. On top of all of this, I found a large scropin in my hallway! Yikes! Thank goodness my Granddaughter wasn’t here. He went into a dustpan and back outdoors. This weekend I’m feeling really insignificant. It would be nice to have someone say, it’s going to be okay and you are enough. Kathryn, you’ve made me feel better. Thank you.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kathryn, I think of you a lot! I was glad to see your post. Strangely, I was going to post on your thread when I saw your post. 9 years gamble free. Omg, that gives me hope. I don’t think we ever get over a death of someone dear to us. Somehow we keep going. Your post today was so appreciated as I’ve had a rough weekend. Things I need to make right within myself. Take care Kathryn. How is your Grandson?

[lizbeth4]

Early this morning I took my walk. Only saw 1 other person. I took in all of the beautiful nature around me. I think I’ve only been living not really living in the moment and realizing how blessed I am. Everything doesn’t need to happen right now. That’s why we have dreams and goals! We are forever changing and evolving. Life is what you make it. Gambling almost destroyed me! Today I haven’t gambled and I didn’t want to.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Monica, Wow you’ve been busy. I’m so happy for you that the job has been a good experience. Things have really changed for you. Your perseverance and motivation kept you going! You are a strong woman and a example to me to never give up! You deserve a holiday with your Daughter! Take care.

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