[lizbeth4]

WOW! The set up of the forum has changed! I just wanted to post a update. I’m still gamble free. I’m heading into a more debt free existence in the next 3 months. A significant portion of my debt will be paid off! It’s been hard keeping on the path and budget. But I’ve done it.

Christmas was good. 2 celebrations with my family.

My Sister is still living with me. She’s closing on a house, 2 1/2 hours northeast from me, barring any problems with the inspection.

My Grandchildren and Daughters are well and both have been able to work through the pandemic,

My Granddaughter is growing so fast, almost 4 years old. She’s still living with me. Hopefully next year she will be with her Mommy fulltime.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I’m looking forward to the New Year!

[lizbeth4]

Thank you so much for your post. It was greatly appreciated. Please don’t ever give up on recovery or yourself. You have a lot to offer the world. Remember that you are worth it.
nIt’s easy to become complacent and gamble. I know from experience. Keep fighting! Stay strong.

[lizbeth4]

Update: I’m still gamble free! Life is Good! Spending Thanksgiving with my Daughters and Grandchildren. My oldest Daughter is cooking and hosting at her house.
nMy Sister is still searching for a home. Everything is so expensive! Hopefully, she will find something.
nHappy Thanksgiving everyone!

[lizbeth4]

I’m fine. I’m still gamble free! I’ve been sick and so was my Granddaughter with a bad cold and cough. We are feeling much better!
nMy Sister has been here for 2 weeks. She’s left her boyfriend and is looking for a home to purchase. We just returned from out of state looking at homes. Nothing has caught her eye yet. She may have to rent until winter is over. She’s talked about going back to her boyfriend but it’s a mentally abusive relationship. I’m being supportive and trying to sway her into staying here.
nSo, I’ve just been so busy with my Granddaughter and everything.
nI’ve had gambling thoughts but I’m not acting upon them.
nI hope all is well with you, I-did-it. Thanks for checking in with me!

[lizbeth4]

Well, it’s been a exhasting week and weekend. My Granddaughter is going through a stage. Many time outs and a little whining! I’m holding it together but it’s testing my patience. As bad as this sounds, tomorrow is school and a little alone time!
nI’ve had some gambling thoughts but haven’t acted on them. I’m keeping myself busy this week with little outside projects that need to be completed before it gets any colder.
nI have had a few unexpected expenses and I’ve had to juggle a few bills and will play catch up. This to will pass as long as I don’t gamble!

[lizbeth4]

OMG. I’m so happy that you and Hubby were able to work things out! It’s so easy now days to just divorce. It takes a lot of work to keep it together. Maybe it was a wake up call for him! And you were able to go through this and not gamble is amazing to Me! Thank you for your support. I’m on the gamble free road again!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks for your support! I’m moving forward. It’s another blip that I will overcome. I know why I gambled. So, when I’m feeling that way again, I will implement what has helped me in the past.
n
nThis last week was hard. My Granddaughter and I had colds, so no school. But we are both better now.
n
nMy Granddaughter is going to visit her parents tomorrow for a few days. I gambled the last time that she was gone. I have my days planned out and I won’t make the same mistake.
n
nHaving a friend over for dinner. She leaves on Monday to live in the city. I will miss her!!
n
nI love Dory!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks RG for your support! I’m doing better. I’m moving forward. I really don’t want to feel the way I do after gambling. It takes a bit of my soul everytime.
nI’m concentrating on being a better me. Taking on one day at a time and living in the present is what I am doing.
nYesterday we spent a few hours with my Mom. I’m dealing with her so much better as I am only seeing her once a week now. It’s enjoyable now as I won’t listen to the negativity anymore. I just remove myself from the situation. She is making more of a effort to be nicer. It’s working.
nMy friend came over for dinner. She is moving back to the city soon to live with family as her boyfriend passed away and she can’t financially afford to live on her own. I will miss her!
nMy Granddaughter is in the tub and bedtime is soon. Good night all.

[lizbeth4]

I’ve forgiven myself and I’m moving forward. I have a counseling appt next week and I’m reading some articles online concerning rewiring your mind for addictions and bad habits.
nMy finances took a hit but I’ve taken steps to get back on track next month. I’ve delayed some of my goals by gambling but I’m determined not to let this happen again.
nMy body and soul can’t keep up with this addiction. It has to end.
nI think a lot of my issues stem from low self esteem and other issues that I haven’t dealt with. It’s time to face my demons. The only way is up!
nI have many things to be thankful for. I am truly blessed. The only thing that is standing in my way is myself!

[lizbeth4]

How I wish that I had taken your advise! I’ve gambled again. I totally binged, for 8 hours! It is a setback for me!
nI obviously still need professional help. I’m not dealing with my stresses and emotions. I’m still escaping from my life.
nOh boy, do I feel the remnants of my BINGE! Physically my body is stiff from sitting for hours. My stomach is in knots. Emotionally I’m broken, sad and I just can’t believe that I’ve done this to myself. I’m just too old to keep doing this.
nThe financial loss is enough to where I will have to juggle a few bills . They will get paid but late. I’m so frustrated and disappointed in myself. I keep sabatoging my life. I work hard to take steps forward just to go backwards in one day.
nDoes this sound familiar to anyone? It has to stop now! I can’t do this anymore.
nI’m contacting my counselor tomorrow. I’ve become comacwnt and lazy.
nTime to get myself together. I pick up my Granddaughter soon.

[lizbeth4]

Still dealing with waves of gambling urges! They come and go. I am resisting and finding ways to cope without gambling.
nI have 2 1/2 days alone while my Granddaughter is visiting her parents.
nI pulled weeds and cleaned up the back yard today! Wow! I was wiped out afterwards and took a nap.
nLife is good! My Granddaughter is still going to preschool, part time. She’s learning Spanish and Russian. She knows the days of the week. Pretty good for a 3 1/2 year old! It’s good for her to be around other children and for me to have some time to get household things done.
nFall is in the air. My favorite season. We are still seeing Elk almost daily. It never gets old.
nHope everyone is enjoying a gamble free weekend!
n

[lizbeth4]

We watched the elk again this evening! Someone has intervened and I have a sever head cold. My plans for after dropping my Granddaughter off tomorrow is to binge watch on Netflix and rest!
nMy cardiologist appointment is now a phone appointment. I was notified today. Not too happy as my routine EKG won’t be performed. Picking up my Granddaughter afterwards and heading to a local stream to play. All of the labor day people will be gone.

[lizbeth4]

So, the week is flying bye, especially with a 3 year old. We sat on the porch for awhile and watched 2 young elk playing in the pond. I want to teach my Granddaughter all about the wildlife and beautiful forest, lakes and rivers surrounding us. At some point she will be living back in the city and away from this magic.
nMy gambling thoughts are surfacing again as my Granddaughter will be with her Mommy for 3 days soon. I’ve been thinking about taking a little detour on the way home and gambling. I never learn. So, I’m thinking of positive things I can do with my 3 days alone. I need to rewire my thoughts. I can do it!!!
nOtherwise everything is Good! I had a mani and pedi yesterday and I’m getting a haircut tomorrow. I’m making sure to not ignore doing things for myself. My Granddaughter and I had dinner last night with a friend. My Granddaughter was very well behaved. I had polished her nails with pink, glittery nail polish and she was delighted to show everyone! So cute!
nTime to go. Bath time for the little one then bedtime.

[lizbeth4]

My Daughter’s dental surgery went well. She is sore and swollen but doing good. My Sister is staying a few extra days to take care of her. If anyone has read my thread, my youngest Daughter has overcome a lot: drug addiction of 16 years. She has been clean for 4 1/2 years. She went to school and became a truck driver, semi, she has a good job, new car and her first apartment. She had to start her life over and she’s experiencing many things that we take for granted. Getting her teeth fixed was another step to move forward. She’s a great Mother. She was told that she would never have children. And we were blessed with my beautiful Granddaughter. My Daughter is my hero. I just look at all that she has accomplished and I’m so proud! If she can accomplish all this, I know that anything is possible.

[lizbeth4]

It’s been a few busy days! My Granddaughter had a perfect dental check up. I was able to spent a few days with my Grandson. Today we resumed our routine, daycare, daily chores, ect….
nMy youngest Daughter has major dental surgery tomorrow. My Sister is going to take her and spend a few days with her. I’m so proud of her for all that she has overcomed this last 4 1/2 years. This surgery will help boost her self confidence.
nI’m doing better with my gambling urges. Working through things. Trying to make the best of everyday.

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