[jazz55]

Bettie,
I’ve been thinking about you Alot!  Keep the Faith, girl.  You are in my prayers.
Hope I catch up to you Soon, in chat!  I’ve missed you. 
Jazzy
 

[jazz55]

((Bettie)), I Hope the Dr.’s office reschedules your CT, soon!  How Frustrating!  grrrrrrrrrrr!
You are in my thoughts and prayers, Better Bettie… I hope your ear aches go away. 
Maybe I”l see you in chat sometime this weekend.
Jazzy

[jazz55]

You Rock, Bettie!
I was There that Saturday nite, during the chat on the other site.  I witnessed, your grace and helpful attitude with this person, and I admire you for your ‘restraint’.
I like the reminder you stated above:  If you are chatting in a cg forum, you are no better, nor worse than anyone in the room.
Well Said, my dear!!
See you soon, Better Bettie!
Jazz

[jazz55]

Hey Bettie.  I’m over on SH, logged into Ladies Meeting and no one’s there.  🙁   If you’re around, come chat with me!!…I No Longer SUPPORT Casinos

[jazz55]

Hoops, glad to hear from you.  I like your style – always working, and ‘giving’, as well.  You Go! Girl.  You are Inspiring Me to get off my tail and put Something Back into this world.
I’ve been out ‘watering’ the grass and plants, all morning.  It’s supposed to be 101 degrees this afternoon.  WAY above average for Texas, this time of year.
Hoops, did you play basketball in school?  Just started ‘thinking’ about your nickname.
I Didn’t take Jazz, or play Jazz in Any form or fashion, in case you wonder. 🙂
Today is Day 7, for me.  A WEEK – I’m liking it.
Take care and talk to you soon!
 ~~ Horse sense is a good judgement, which keeps horses from betting on people ~  W.C. Fields…I NO LONGER SUPPORT CASINOS

[jazz55]

Diva, I just read your post about banning yourself.  Glad I did. 
I gamble(d) in Oklahoma. During My self-ban, they didn’t mention that I could be ******** for criminal trespass, if I were to try to sneak my way into the casino.  I Haven’t, of course, but the thought that someday, I might, was in the back of my mind.    What a loser, I can be.
Anyway, I appreciated your post to ‘my’ journal.  You just keep on doing what your doing and take the high road of life!

[jazz55]

THANK YOU for ALL the responses.  It was just what I needed today for a fresh start.  Lots of help from everyone.  Carole, I really Get your advice about holding off on any Major changes during the first year of my recovery.  Makes Perfect Sense – No Wonder I was unsuccessful in trying to talk about things with my husband, last night.  That’s Me – Rushing to Fix Everything, right away.
Invaluable Information.  There is So Much of it here.  How lucky we all are to have this opportunity to grow, learn and heal together.  God Bless Us, All.
 

[jazz55]

I have to continue WRITING here, to feel some sort of relief.  I don’t know what else to do.  He doesn’t Hear me.  He turns everything I say, into an ******* on Him.  That’s his Out.  It’s getting pretty intense.  He doesn’t want to deal with any of it. 
My thoughts are, it’s time to lay it all out on the line. 
Right now, he would rather I went gambling, than Talk about our issues. 
Makes me want to go gamble my brains out.
 

[jazz55]

I made an effort to discuss my "journal" to my husband when he got home (at 10:15pm)  Not a good thing.  All he can say, is "Get a job and you won’t have time to think about gambling".  Same response, another day.
I’m drowning. 
Tried to really honest about how it’s My problem and My destructive coping… but, all he Heard was I was blaming Him.  I said, over and over again, that I was not putting the blame on him, but that we Both had to recognize how distant we’ve become.  
It’s like talking to a brick.
 

[jazz55]

Phillip, I’ve heard some Horror stories today on this site.  I wish I could help those folks.  I can’t, only give words of encouragement.  I’m 6 days gamble-free.  That’s a GOOD THING.
 

[jazz55]

Wow! I just stopped gambling 2 days ago; went to the casino TODAY to self-ban myself, and Now I see what I need to prepare myself for. 
The self-ban was incredibly hard – I wanted to BOLT, before the Mgr. of Operations ever arrived to give me the paperwork.  Once it was over & I had been "escorted back to my vehicle", I had a tremendous sense of ‘buyer’s remorse’.  WHAT HAD I JUST DONE TO MYSELF???!!!
I’m thinking that I had better Start fitness training right away, or I’ll be diving into the refrigerator or the ‘bottle’ very soon.

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