[ididit]

Thank you Kin and Jasmine for your replies. I am heading towards 5 years gamble free and how life has changed from the old desperate posts. Those posts were all about surviving until payday but not really focused on stopping/controlling gambling.
I no longer desperately wait until payday.

I still have barriers in place like a blocker on my phone (these have improved so much) and I know these are for life.

I really wish the best for everyone who is struggling. I remember the pain and the panic, the desperation and disappointment and the wondering if I had it in me to stop. I did!. We all do.
Onwards and upwards everyone!

[ididit]

Thank you Kin, Charles and Matarazzo for your replies. Certainly Matarazzo self-discipline is important. However, it doesn’t explain why some high-achieving people (through their self -discipline in terms of studies or hard work) start to gamble and become quickly addicted while their peers can stop.
There is a lot of recent research which indicates that genetics play a role. I believe that genetics combined with with a variety of factors contributes hugely to this issue.
Lacking the self-discipline to stop sounds like a definition of addiction – if we had it we wouldn’t need support. I know that without support I would never have stopped. I also know that it is barriers which keep me clean a lot, when my self-discipline fails me. I don’t know how often this is the case because I don’t test it. I have nothing to gain and everything to lose by putting my self-discipline or lack of it to the test.
So I would encourage anyone reading this to take as much support as you need, keep adding to your barriers and please do not rely on self-discipline alone.

[ididit]

Hi Yoyo,
How are things? I wanted to change everything too. Now I try to remind myself its ‘progress not perfection’.
Each time we manage to avoid gambling for any length of time, our brain learns we can do it.
I have been free for a while but not without a few setbacks along the way. Today I really wanted to gamble. Lots of times buying petrol is a challenge because of the lottery tickets beside the till. Once you start to see success you can stop and think I now am getting the things I believed I needed a win for. Of course the win never went on those things anyway.
Stay serious Yoyo. Keep trying. Pat yourself on the back for everytime you say no to gambling. Stick with it. You deserve a life without this misery.

[ididit]

Hi Yoyo, there is a great life after gambling. I honestly thought gambling and lies would be my life forever. The groups which used to be on here helped me greatly. Also I installed GAMBAN on my phone and mobile devices. It was a game changer.

Keep doing what you are doing. Seek support everywhere and anywhere and do everything it takes to get you through it. It’s hard but so worth it! Imagine waking up free from guilt, money worries and lies every morning and instead having your head full of plans.

All of us can do this and so can you. The resources and the will to suceed are inside you.

[ididit]

Charles,you were a lifeline for me in the past when things were really bad and I so appreciate all the help you provided. Your own experience means you are approachable and have such an understanding of the issues we faced.I am now living a gamble free life and the awful years of the past feel like a distant memory. A huge part of that distant memory is you- how you always gave me hope and never gave up on anyone. You inspired me to seek better, to understand that I was worth more and that somewhere inside me I had what it takes to beat this demon. I cannot believe all I have acheived in recent years. I have travelled, improved my home, created better relationships and as you use to say, “I now have all the things I used to think I needed a win for”.

Thank you so much for your work in the groups. They were the only online groups where I felt comfortable and mostly thank you for your huge contribution to my recovery.

[ididit]

I think its been over 3 years now..don’t really keep track.. but I am sitting in a “gradually growing beautiful home” which is a far cry from the shamefully tatty one with the long term broken oven, washing machine and only two working hob rings. 3 years free and maybe 13 years since I first joined this site but what a great few years it has been. Life of course throws curveballs, and quite a lot of them recently, but at least I can afford to face those curveballs in comfortable shoes.
It took me several attempts to become free of this-I understand now we are never really free. Like other long term illnesses, we can manage this. We need to be always wary of triggers and keep strong barriers in place.

As Charles always said in group “there is only one thing in life we cannot do”.

Thank you Steev, Kathryn, Jen and Kin for your replies. Its nice to hear from some of my old pals.

[ididit]

Hi Steev, you have nailed it! You have much better life living your dream than chasing a dreamworld. Well done and it is great to hear about your travels. Helps to keep us al inspired.im doing ok- still hanging in there and enjoying life. Hope for an update from you soon

[ididit]

Hi Lizbeth, just thought I would drop by and check in on some of my old friends on here. Hope all is good with you- I can see it’s a while since you posted. I don’t really post much since a lot of those I used to chat with have left, and of course it’s not the same without the open groups where friendships were cemented. Hope all is going well with you.

[ididit]

Hi Kathyrn, its nice to read an update from you. Its a blow to discover that your son has been gambling although it seems he has learned a lot of strategies to deal with it from his terrific mum. Keep strongx

[ididit]

Hi DE,
You did sound quite low and panicked in your post. Yes you are in your mid-thirites (a mere baby) and you are worried about time running out. Once we kick addiction and time wasting activities we have so much time. Do u know I have an extra 10 hours every Saturday since I stopped drinking. (Not sure why I stopped .just decided the weekend hangovers weren’t working for me anymore(. I have probably en extra ten hours every day on top of that since I stopped gambling. Think of all the time you will have once the constant bug leaves your system.and u can think about normal things like buying clothes and going out.

Just this morning I watched a video about the process being more influential than the goal. Its hard for us to let go of the need for instant success but here’s a link..see what you think.

[ididit]

Hi DE
It’s been a while since I posted but I’m pleased to read that you are doing so well.
I think a visit to a psychiatrist or addiction counsellor is a great idea. I have got my life together after many attempts and many years of the painful, shameful cycle. I couldn’t have done it on my own…I had an excellent counsellor to help me through the early months.

You asked in an earlier post if anyone had tried meds? I tried NAC which has been shown to reduce gambling urges. It honestly worked for a while but made me feel so ill I could not face taking it.

Another thing that helped me was mindfulness. I thought it was the biggest load of nonsense until I tried it.

You are dealing with one of the most difficult days in the month- payday. Take credit for putting blockers in place. Once you get through this month next payday will look a lot brighter.
I would suggest you treat yourself to something you would not normally buy yourself. For me it was a handbag or a piece of jewellery. It meant I could be reminded several times daily of what I was gaining by not gamblingand it also reminded me that i am worth spending my money on. We are worth it but somewhere along the way we forget that.

Remember if you can do 16 days you can do 160!

[ididit]

Thank you to everyone who has checked in on my thread. I am happy to report that I continue to be gamble free.

I just saw this quote from one of my earlier threads.
————————————————————
“One more day to go before payday.

I have got by and thanks to a mini miracle I actually am having quite a good end to the month.

I feel the usual sense of relief. I know in a day and a bit my month’s wages will be in the bank.

My mind is doing its monthly spend on silver sparkly curtains, good quality grey paint and of course the savings towards the new kitchen. This is a monthly “mind-spend” which never materialises. The first day I buy nice groceries and even some clothes – by the end of the first week I am back to the usual struggle and unworn clothes are returned.

I have a telephone appointment to discuss the residential programme. Now that’s it is payday and I have survived, recovery has lost its urgency. Residential treatment doesn’t seem so necessary. I feel I can do it alone.

I guess I have a bad infection of stinkin thinkin”
__________________

I can’t believe reading back that I now have the silver sparkly curtains, the good quality grey paint and a beautiful new kitchen. I have learned to save, wait and believe. I never have that horrible misery as payday approaches. I have happy home with lots of laughter which I feel able to invite people into.

It took a huge effort to stop gambling. I still attend support group weekly. However, every day is a joy. My life is unrecognisable. All the things I so needed the big win for I now have after just a few years. Best of all I have peace of mind.

I cannot recommend residential treatment strongly enough….it’s free, it’s short and its powerful. We all deserve it.xx

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