[I_Maverick]

Love the new name. Keep posting me old mucker, I hope you are well. So pleased you’ve gone home to your family, I remember how excited you got when you were able to speak with them.

Well done on completing the course, I wish you all the best with your new life.

[I_Maverick]

Don’t beat yourself up, that’s counter-productive. I learned that myself. Someone once told me that recovery is a constant state of relapse. meaning that as you give up your [eriods of abstintence between gambling get longer. That was the case for me. each relapse remids you of why you need to stop. And one day you will stop for good.

Note the date. ***** the days. Every 7 days reward yourself for not gambling. Go to GA. Remind yourself why you want recovery. WHy do you want to stop gambling. Each day you do not gamble is a GREAT day.

You can do it. Stick around, talk to us if you have no one else. You can find my email address on my website.

http://www.neathfilms.com

They will take that down so make a note of it. Email me directly if you want, I will always respond. I have only done so well because of the support I have and because I am learning the power of honesty. I am also getting a kick from not gambling, from looking for recovery.

I have o go now as my battery is low as I sit outside drinking fresh lemonade. If my battery goes the computer will need a password which only my brother (who is in Germany) and my mum (who is 150 miles away) have. I do not want it. I need my barriers otherwise I might gamble. And I do not want to gamble.

You will do it this time, I feel it in my water.

Good luck and have a great night

Mav

PS, great to see you again. Don’t just come back when you relapse, stay around here tpoPREVENT relapse.

[I_Maverick]

Ian, please know that this is the best decision you ever made. It is a great programme, and one I wish I could have done but as the staff there explained to me, one which would have done me no good. My needs were more complex tan just mere gambling. My gambling was a symptom of a deeper issue.

Say hi to everyone from me. Please pass on my love and I wish you all the best. Enjoy it and work it. Know that you are worth it.

M

[I_Maverick]

Hi Vera

You are one of the people here I think about a lot for a whole range of reasons. When I wrote my post your post did not exist, but you posted just before I did. Will you be in the group at 3? I wish I could get some of your eggs for my son. He loves eggs and I love to buy local eggs from hens one of our neighbours keeps here near my parents. SO free range they join you for a cuppa in the kitchen.

Glad to hear you’re doing well and that a dream is only a dream.

See you soon, you’ll ee more of me now that I kind of understand what my recovery involves and how far I am from any kind of real recovery.

All my love as always chicken lady.

[I_Maverick]

Hey Angie, how are you doing? I’ve been off the site as I focused on my recovery, and while I am long way from real or true recovery I am starting to sense what that means for me. How are you doing, it’s a few weeks since your last post. I pray to my higher power to throw a shrimp on the barbie and enjoy for amber nectar down under to give you the strength you needs.s All my love. M

[I_Maverick]

Hi Jenna How are you doing> I;m back on the site and remember you as you just joined as I came out of GMA. I hope you are good and G Free. Hope to see you around. M

[I_Maverick]

Hey Gov

How are you? I’m back posting but see you’ve not been around for a while. I pray that everything is good for you.

M

[I_Maverick]

Well, I didn’t actually expect to get to my thread quite so quickly. Even if I do not post here as often as I once did I think about this place a lot and about everyone who has taken even 1 minute (usually longer) to respond to my posts. IN the early days they were mad, full of self hate, self loathing. Then fear. Now, as I start posting a bit more regularly, I intend them to contain little nuggets of my recovery and the knowledge I am gaining in what recovery means.

First of all a big shout to all my old friends and to my new ones. I see there are new members here as well as regulars – big up to you all, and well done for coming here. This is a good starting point for recovery via abstinence.

I have so much to post I am actually going to spread it out. I am making a schedule for myself and am going to programme in upto 1 hour every 2 days to post, read and contribute.

The only thing I want to say right now is I finally found a sponsor to work with me on the 12 and recovery programme. Taking advice from an old timer in my London GA I went to NA. He said they are more together about recovery and step work, that GA is not the best place to do the steps and they are all the same and anyway, as I have said many time, drug use/ abuse was my first addiction/ compulsion.

I knew I was in the right place as soon as I walked in on Friday near Tottenham Court Road. A fella came up and spoke with me and welcomed me. We connected immeditaley and when I asked him if he had done sponsor work and he said yes I asked him if he would be my sponsor. He said he felt as soon aas I walked through the door he was going to sponsor me. Timing. Higher Power. Giving in to the addiction. It was one of the most spiritual moments of my life and I am not religious. He has 20 years of recovery and he is fantastic.

I am so happy to be back, I have so much good news to tell. I am not recovered. Infact I might have 97 days clean time G Free, but I have no recovery in terms of the personality change I want to make one day at a time. I have no or almost no gambling thoughts, as I know if I gamble I will lose even more than last time as one bet leads to another to another.

Things are tough with my soon to be exwife and on Weds we had an argument that was not helped by the fact that I have nor ecovery so I become petulant, manipulative and alround shitty making her cry. I was selfish, self centered and totakllky lacking in empathy. That was when I realised I have no recovery and hence me asksing advice at GA and getting the NA advice.

I’ve started steps 1 and 2. Step 1 is sorted but I keep reminding myself every day. I am powerless over gambling AND my life is unmanageable. I am now starting to wrap my head around my higher power, but some really strange and fortuitous things are happening. I had 3 day work last week filming, and possibly more coming up and maybe some amazing opportunities on the horizon. I have my desk set up in my old bedroom and the relationship with my parents is improving as I am making the effort.

I know things will not be easy going forwards, but as long as I do not gamble I can cope.

I go to GA in Derby on a Monday, Stoke on a Tuesday and London on a Thursday followed by an NA in London on a Friday. I am working on my honesty, listening, empathy and understanding. Not letting my ego run me.

I am going to sign off here so I can read some more posts before the group starts at 3pm.

Love to all, I am happy and grateful to be back, that a site like this exists. Without it I do not think GA would have been enough in those early days of Feb/ March this year.

[I_Maverick]

Good luck at GMA. I was there a few months ago and although I was not there long (info on my thread) it was one of the defining moments of my early recovery and one I will never forget. It’s hard but it works if you want it to. I will ask my higher power to have a word with your higher power and share a fresh pineapple juice from Montego Bay.

All my love

Mav

[I_Maverick]

Welcome to GT Dan. This site is amazing and is one of the reasons why am on day 97 without a bet but more than that I have learned on here what recovery can be. Abstinence is not recovery. Stick around, there is true knowledge here that can and could save your life.

My love to you.

[I_Maverick]

Hey Micky,

great posts a ever. I have finally found a sponsor but in NA not GA. I Sam starting my gratitude lists every evening in a notebook.

I was in London over the weekend on Friday just gone I saw the NPGC and confirm I would get the treatment I want. Super pleased. Hope your meeting went well.

I am back to London tomorrow to see my son, leaving at 4am.

Take care and keep posting, your progress really eggs me on.

😉

[I_Maverick]

Well done mate. Although I was doing GA for many years it was not until this year I ‘got it’ and did as many meetings as I could. They say try and do 90 meetings in 90 days. That’s a lot but I do 3 meetings a week in 3 cities – Derby on Monday, Stoke on Tuesday and London on Thursday. If you have more meetings you can get to try them out – find one that fits you best.

Good luck and stick around here, this place was invaluable to me through the darkest days of my life so far. I am in a much better place now, though a long way from recovery, but I am starting to glimpse what I need to do to effect my recovery sin an action way. The 12 steps are an action programme, and I am starting my action now to address the me I am unhappy with.

Best and all my love

[I_Maverick]

Hi Lizbeth. I don’t think I have posted on your forum before but I have read them. I just re-read a lot of your posts and I am almost in tears at the journey you have made. There’s not much I can say except to say that what I have read has moved me and I send you all my strength and love and pray through my higher power that you will continue to find teh strength to continue on your path. Thank you for sharing so much, it helps me to gain insight into other people. This is a part of myself I want to improve, to have more empathy and less self-centredness.

Have a wonderful time with your grandson. I bet he’s stoked about hanging with cool granny.

xxx

[I_Maverick]

Dude, awesome. So pleased. I hope you have been treating a dear friend of ours from GT well. We knew him as Charlster and my vacating brought him a place and how could I ever be sad about that. He had been an awesome friend to me on these forums before I went in, so I hope he is doing well.

Please pass on my love and thanks to the other guys. I was there for such a short time but the experience will live with me forever. Especially golf and my 1 Shanghai.

I am on day 97 today and am moving in the right direction one day at a time. I have joined NA as well as GA to start my step work. I am also getting the treatment I need at the National Problem Gambling Clinic.

Letting me go was the best thing that L could have done – he knows his stuff.

Say hi to everyone, I am overjoyed at your release, to see your wife and kids. Be good and thanks – you were a lovely housemate who showed me love when I needed it.

Be safe and good luck with the rest of your life.

[I_Maverick]

‘John’ I just wanted to wish you a great thanks for the small bit of time you gave me a few months ago when I was really low and very fucked up. Your advice was spot on. I wish you all the best with your new life, and please expect an email from me at some point regarding my new creative project. Whether you are involved or not will be down to you and circumstances, but if it’s ok with you I would like to contact you about it. It is not money related, and will not happen in the near future.

You have given me hope in the way you have approached your recovery and are not just abstinent. Also, the way you describe rebuilding your relationship with your son is truly inspiring. My son is way too young to know what I did but you have opened my eyes further to what makes a father. Good luck to you, all my prayers with you and yours and I will ask my higher power to say hi to your higher power. They have share a beautiful fresh orange juice from the garden of eden together.

See you around in the new life.

[Author]

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