[hambone]

Everytime I go back to gambling its because I am in financial durress and like an idiot, think I can bet my way out of it instead of dealing with it. I recognize that now and hope to avoid it in the future, I have better ways to solve financial issues.

If I told my wife anything now, she would leave, 100%. I am trying my hardest to fix this so I can move on and never discuss it again. It’s been stressful, and its going to take time. It happened so fast, I got 100k in debt in less than 1 year, and its going to take me longer than that to fix it, but I will get there.

I was drinking the most and trying drugs when I was at my lowest, getting 10+ calls a day from different lenders and months behind on debt. I couldn’t sleep, could hardly function, so when we went out for drinks I would just numb myself. I’ve gotten a handle on my finances now, and that stuff has faded as well. Now I’m just focused on trying to maintain multiple jobs and getting things paid off. I have payments scheduled for next weeks pay already, and I’ve gotten really good at scheduling them so that I dont have any actual money.

Additionally, I was gambling using bitcoin. The markets I bought on have all banned me, and it’s just too hard to buy bitcoin, so I can’t gamble even if I wanted to. Right now I have $125 in my secret bank account, but if I use it, it will be for food, groceries etc.

I agree though, it will get hard again at some point. Financial stress is my trigger, which turns into a vicious cycle when I’m gambling, because every time I lose, I feel more compelled to gamble again. This will be a long fight, but after about 3 months without betting, I feel like a new person.

[hambone]

I get it. Just remember how awful you feel in the lows, and do whatever you can to avoid that feeling again. After awhile, the fog will clear and you wont believe you lived like that

[Author]

Posts