[gunner27]

Thanks Carole, I agree. I have always kept my finances vague with my wife (and indeed she with me, we are fairly independent like that), but basically I have a two part plan to solve the debt issue without her having to know, whilst protecting myself from temptation, too detailed to go into but is should work out ok. I know some people here disagree with not sharing everything with our spouses but I honestly dont see the benefit in depressing my wife further and risking the worst, I just dont. She knows I have had an extremely serious problem and she has probably lost some trust and respect for me already, so I dont feel the need to futher upset her now that I am finally becoming fully accountable.
Separately while looking for a pro-active group against soft gambling legislation etc I have come across GRASP, Gambling Reform And Society Perception, they are UK-based, seem very articulate and have a good agenda for fighting the proliferation of the gambling machinery, so I have joined up, has anyone else heard of them?

[gunner27]

Hey K
Just wanted to say thanks so much for your post on my new thread, you really are a lovely person and this board is very very lucky to have you ‘on board’, your post means a hell of a lot to me.
I’m really excited for you with that trip coming up, and also in a funny way your trip to re-exclude, both of these are great things to be doing and both indicate your continued progress and strength, more power to your elbow!
Have a great Hump day whatever that is! Lots of love, Jim
 

[gunner27]

Hi Lizbeth great to see you back and posting regularly, your posts are very wholesome and reassuring! Really pleased you are well and to hear about your smoking milestone too, well done to you. Jim

[gunner27]

Appreciate it Geordie…Well now for me a journey without a destination or at least an intended destination is something else. I believe there is a destination in recovery and it is simple: having peace in your heart. Recovery can only come, as dear Amy said on her thread recently, through dealing with the negative issues you have had in your life, having the emotional strength to accept events people and feelings that have affected us, accepting all of that, taking the necessary decisions where needed, and moving on.
That is a big part of it. On top of that there is also accepting that there is a part of us, the ‘total self-destruct’ button (CG), that has the capacity, through the medium of gambling, to take us right down to the point where we have literally got nothing left, not even hope. I dont believe that this ‘total self-destruct’ button which we possess has anything to do with our issues, because just about everyone has issues and only a small percentage turn to compusive activity. I also dont believe any of us here are naturally masochistic self-haters who have to kind of financially and emotionally destroy ourselves through despair or in an attempt to alleviate bad feelings. So for me the only way it makes sense to truly find peace is to do something new with the ‘total self-destruct’ button. It is a really powerful button, but if we repaint it, reprogramme it and rename it ‘total get out there and kick **** button then I believe it can be instead used for who knows how much good stuff. In that way I can see a journey with a destination.

[gunner27]

Just thinking about the recovery journey. I’d like to think it is a journey TO somewhere it’s just I’m finding it hard to see where that somewhere is. It’s easy to see where we’re trying to get away FROM, from the powerful CG dark energy that has pushed and shoved us around as helpless as pieces of flotsam on the stormy sea. But where are we to?
That is something that has bothering me, the ultimate goal of gambling recovery seems to be ‘not’ doing something, which feels like a pretty intangible objective. So…I’m looking for inspiration. I want to know where the journey is TO and I want to embrace that idea with the same vigour and single-mindedness that I’ve had all these years when I’ve been gambling, I think it would make the whole experience more positive. If anyone has any thoughts on where the journey is TO I’d love to hear some suggestions and I’ll try and think of some too.
Cheers Jim

[gunner27]

Hi SBT, really pleased to hear your update, it’s really encouraging that you’re getting on with life and I hope your teams have a cracking season in that unfathomable sport of yours ****** Rules.  

[gunner27]

Larry
Just wanted to add my voice to I’m sure so many others here who feel your presence transcends mere words, you actually bring together knowledge, insight and warm-heartedness to spell out ideas, encouragement and suggestions tailored to the individuals whose journals you post on. That is a tremendous amount of generosity and effort you are giving, and I cannot say how much I personally have appreciated interacting with you and learning from you. You are also an inspiration in your acceptance of who you are and how you can make a good fist of things through contemplation and positive action.
Hoping all your troubles will eventually settle down and in the meantime at least soon move into the ‘manageable’ category.
Here’s to you Larry, I raise my glass. Jim

[gunner27]

Hi Bettie,
Sounds like you have a close shave and the CG briefly had you, well done for getting out of there. Your frankness about everything is refreshing and admirable, all I would say is dont be too hard on yourself, you have made a marvellous recovery over the days, weeks and months, you know it. Jim

[gunner27]

Hi Sunny, here’s to a great 2012. You have already been a tremendous support to many people in the short time you have been here and shown much insight, tomorrow will be better than yesterday because you keep learning and growing, I’m really pleased for you the progress you have made in just 33 days.

[gunner27]

Hi Luke
Welcome to GT, just read your first few posts and it is great to see you taking such positive action and making positive plans, go for it Luke!
The smoking question will be different for each person I guess, I attempted to give up earlier in 2011 when I was still in the early stages of recovery, and I found it was too much to take on, I felt doubly-deprived. I subsequently had a very bad gambling slip. Now I’ve been clean a few months I’m having another go at giving up the cigs for 2012, starting from today. If you do not feel you are being overly deprived then why not give it a shot, it is mainly a psychological hold that the cigs have over us and they certainly dont give us anything positive.
I would only say dont overburden yourself in the early stages of recovery, you are making a great positive step forward and it is quite an involved process, as one of my favourite posters on here Bettie told me it is ‘peeling the onion’ : relearning financial responsibility, finding out more about what sort of people are CGs and the similar characteristics we share, discovering the triggers you personally are susceptible to and how to minimise these, and so on. Here’s to a better 2012. Jim
 

[gunner27]

I think a lot of people are lonely on here Bettie/Hope, for one reason or another. Sure seems to be a link there with CG. I’m also lonely quite often and I know how cr*p it feels.
I can only say it really is great to have special people on here like you Bettie, like others have said you are candid and interesting and clever; there’s a lot of insightful and clever people on here in fact, makes you wonder how so many bright people get trapped for so long; I guess it just proves what a cunning swine CG is..
oh and thanks for positively commenting on my relationship post, I spent quite a bit of time on that post because I want to refer back to it in the future as I found the article it came from quite uplifting. Jim x

[gunner27]

Hi Betty
The isolation, well that definitely seems to be a recurring theme amongst many of us. All of us are islands in some respects. I believe as such we all need to learn to go easy on ourselves a bit more and be more understanding of our own weird make ups. Then maybe we will be better able to be around all those annoying people out there who dont understand us, and maybe find the odd one or two who do.  

[gunner27]

Hi Bettie just sending you my best wishes, and sorry to hear about that poor woman, what a brave guy eh to go and do something like that. At least people like him normally get his comeuppance sooner or later. Jim

[gunner27]

Glad to hear everything is going well Kathryn, good for you! cheers Jim

[gunner27]

Hi Bettie
Scary to hear about the 7 yearer, I feel very sorry for him/her. Glad to see your fine progress!! Jim

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