[fpsbluefire]

I ended up digging myself into a bigger hole but can still get out, gonna take a lot of hours to pay of the debt. Didn’t think I would I still be gambling

[fpsbluefire]

I kinda made the same mistake as well. All i wanted to do was make $100 to buy a few stuff, btw I’m a student so I don’t work. Didn’t wanna spend the money i had at the moment but try to gamble it and essentially buy it with my winning. I ended losing a $500 bankroll to try to make $100. Making $100 is usually easy but i ended up going on tilt and losing a lot more than $500 let’s say.
From that day i realized that gambling is only there if you wanna gamble, not a way to make money. I should have listened to the people on this forum but i didn’t. How i escaped was , by replacing the void with something else. Like Gaming or some other non- expensive hobby but plus I’m in debt and can’t really afford to gamble atm as well.

Like i made big money but pending withdrawal take forever and as a gambler, i think i can make more if i got that far with my initial bankroll. i end up losing it eventually. Its best to stop overall. Try to find something to fill the void or just expect the worse when you gamble.

[fpsbluefire]

so far I’ve stopped gambling. My gambling account is on cooldown period infinite.  Would have to contact them through live support to unblock even then its a  7 day wait period. When i go onto twitch, all it does is recommend whoever is streaming blackjack. Not sure how to block the entire category. Haven’t looked into it.

 I’m down too much to try to make a comeback.

[fpsbluefire]

It just that i got nothing else to do with my free time. I always gamble on the weekends when i got absolutely nothing to do. I try to sleep it out till the weekday when i go back to work but sometimes i kick back on twitch and watch a few streamers gamble and then get tempted to play myself. 

          But i think I’m done for real. I know how much worse this can get. I ended up closing my account for the online casino and IDebt payment account so there is no real way for me to play unless i contact support but even then its a 7 day wait period before it actually get unblocked. I did unblock it once, hopefully not again. 

                  School is starting again and also bought a new pc setup so hopefully, my attention will be more towards gaming and not gambling. Let’s see how it goes but hopefully, i don’t pick up gambling again in the summer when I’m done school but its been a winter habit. I only started gambling with real money in December 2018. It’s been a rollercoaster and an interesting winter break.

                In my head, its like when i need money, i depend on gambling. I need to change that mindset. Like i don’t know, another way you can make money online. I don’t know if this makes sense. I’m a student at the end of the day so I don’t have the time to be working full time. Might try to get a part-time job on the weekends hopefully to keep me busy on the weekends. Need new habit to keep me busy essentially. You guys did recommend a few stuff but it hard to adapt to a new habit/lifestyle i guess. I’m pretty sure it would have been worse if i haven’t had you guys tell the story you have. it kept me more in line and controlled rather going full tilt and etc. It could have been worse is what i tell myself.

[fpsbluefire]

        So I started playing again on Friday, small bets, nothing crazy. Profited 140 on Friday, played today was up 200. Kept playing and lost it all. Was playing with a $500 bankroll so I was down 500, deposited another 500 in the hopes of recovering the 500 i had lost and went all in, Lost . 

          Now I’m down 1k and I’m not sure what to do. Made a deposit of 1.2k in the hopes of recovering, went all in and won but this was the first time i was questioning myself to even why i put myself in a position like this. 

            Gambling is no way of making money and not worth the stress. I didn’t know what to do. If i were to lost 1.2k the all in bet, that would mean i was down 2.2k. I am grateful to have won the all in, but it’s not worth it. I tried to chase a lost, it worked out well this time, but it wont end the same every time. 

              If i were to lost this all in, would have been down 2,2k. Knowing me , i would have probably chased the lost by depositing a 2.2k and going all in and losing it .making me down 4.4k. 

           That’s how it all starts. Going to Be Gambling free from now and hopefully refer to his post when i do get urges. I’m grateful to not be in serious shit such as selling a house, or car.

         I feel like I’m going to relapse but hopefully, referring back to this post will help me. I just need an online job that can consume my time. I thought i could make this gambling thing a job but its too stressful when you’re in the hole.

Edit

Now that I’m not down,i lost that feeling of being scared of gambling and its only been a few minutes. i feel like playing small bets i can afford, like 50 or something. but i know I’m gonna chase the small loses. Was talking with a friend about this and he was saying how i have an addiction to everything when it comes to shopping to gaming. I have dedicated myself to one thing and not a bunch. I think that my problem.

[fpsbluefire]

but they are playing blackjack, its not slots or anything. there is no way they can rig up blackjack. I just took a nap and the urge is gone but need to find ways around it.

[fpsbluefire]

Been watching a few streamers and they been making 1k+ and i just get the feeling i can do the same but i know it won’t end the same because i won’t know when to quit or call it a day.

[fpsbluefire]

What you guys wrote actually made sense to me, been also been watching videos about gambling addiction like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03kQXimVcrw.

Realizing that it starts small and adds up. Such a cruel world we live in.

[fpsbluefire]

Decided to play with $ 100, got up to $ 280. thought i could get up more, but lost it all. At least this was a good trial run instead of playing with the $1,960. Hopefully, I’m done with gambling after today. I just get this urge to keep playing when I’m up 100+ or whatever. I can probably be up 10k and still be gambling. I guess its something i will never understand.

[fpsbluefire]

i just signed up as well as i want to put an end to my online casino days as it will just end badly. In debt under 5k but it could be worse.

[fpsbluefire]

i feel your pain. online casinos shouldn’t be a thing, to be honest but at the end, it’s a business that makes money and will always find its ways. Hope the best and hear from you soon

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