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You know the deal and are now at the point were the damage is done and mistakes take a toll on our day to day. Glad you put a life time ban on your access. You must do all you can at the height of this to do damage control and live life the way its meant to be lived . For a cg its clear omit gambling for good. Its the only choice that can be made otherwise its a slippery slope that will only drag us down. Get payments set up to manage and not overwhelm you ok.
you are a good person with a wonderful life that needs you to be apart of it. I think in order to get beyond this you need to come clean with your partner and don’t make her responsible for repayment that might make telling her the truth more acceptable. Try doing this with the help of a therapist perhaps. I am 5 months clean and know that this is a fragile balancing act but I have learned this time that there is never a good excuse to gamble and that keeps me going strong now. Life easily can offer us all the excuses we need to f… up so we must get over that notion then growth can take place FGglad your effort to not gamble is paying off and the days are adding up. These are the most difficult , the early days really take their toll on our minds. Hope your funds are tied up while you continue your fight against those pesky urges.
Sorry your Child isn’t making any of this easier but we must not let their issues become our reason to gamble. If you unable to help while your doing all that you can for yourself let her know. That is what growth is , changing it up!! FGIt’ true good people can make poor choices that result in bad decisions that impact our lives on a grand scale. That is what gambling gives us and nothing more. Gambling shatters our hopes and dreams and just makes life in general difficult.
When the urge hits read your thread or read all of our threads and open your eyes to the real reality of the gifts and rewards of gambling. There just isn’t any way that life is made easier or happier when we gamble. The truth is that living normal lives is all but impossible if we don’t quit .
I am finally seeing that for myself because I am able to go through life without making excuses or looking for excuses to gamble. I am done racking my brain after a huge lose to find a way to get out of it. I prefer the peace that comes from not having the worry anymore. It does take time to find that peace so that is why you must tie up all access to money while you let your brain calm down and let normal return.
It’s been just about 5 months now that I haven’t gambled and for about a month very few urges and few thoughts are taking up space in my newly rewired brain. Maybe due to the hypnosis, but at any rate all is better than it has been for 15 years I would say. I don’t want to give that feeling up and either should you. Give life all the energy we gave to gambling and there will be nothing you can’t accomplish. FGhope your in a good place because you deserve that place and even earned that place. Realize it Adam and give yourself a break. You might think of working in a less stressful place, I can’t imagine being confronted by bandits constantly and not giving in to the urge to play. Is working there really worth that level of anxiety.FG
Well Liz, I’m glad you can forgive yourself and move forward. We have all felt like you and have done just what you have done many a time in fact, and we continue to learn from our mistakes. If you can restrain yourself for awhile then learn you will. Its like a ladder we take a step at a time and sometimes when no one is supporting the ladder we fall again and again. You want to find someone to keep the ladder from falling over next time and you will learn how by getting into counciling. Then when we have proper tools we can secure the ladder and carry on without support. or become a support for others climbing the ladder for what ever troubles them. FG
So glad to hear your grandson is on the mend and that you have such a bond together. Sorry you have to handle all this without your spouse but you are doing so well with your hands so full of what life presents you with. Better your hands be full with life than full with gambling aftermath.FG
Hey Mav, I am worried for you with finding a way to repay loan sharks. Do you have a plan in place ? if so let us know so we can rest easy knowing you’ll be alright.
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but I recognize a behavoural pattern after gambling that I would often practice when I knew I had done what I knew my family wouldn’t like. I tried to be better than ever doing all that I could to make up for my gambling mistakes. I even wouldn’t let things that were said upset me or speak my mind because I felt I was undeserving of it due to my gambling. If I could be on good behaviour long enough when the truth did come out perhaps I had enough browny points to keep me out of hot water. Is this what is happening with you at the moment??
We can’t keep that up long enough to ride out the consequences of our actions Mav. We need to find ways to hold ourselves accountable and be humble enough to accept them FG