[Emma8]

Use the drive you have to gamble and turn it to something else. December and January are still over a month away. Is there anything you could do now that would help your finances and give you a positive boost at the same time? Maybe even something simple like selling some unwanted things on Ebay or something? 

I’m so pleased that you recognise that gambling will only make things worse. Imagine yourself on Christmas day looking back and thanking you for staying away from it. Yes it’s been a tough month financially, but aren’t you glad you kept the money you did have safe for the things that are most important?

[Emma8]

Go and read my journal entry. I’m on day 1 once more and it feels rotten. Learn from my relapse. Don’t do it. Just stay away. The short time joy is absolutely not worth it in any way! You’re doing so well. Keep going!

[Emma8]

I hate this. But I can’t be angry with myself. I knew it was likely to happen and I didn’t do everything I could to stop it. I relapsed and now I’ve spent the majority of the money I had available to me. Thankfully since my last big gambling problem episode at the start of the year I have paid off and closed credit cards so I couldn’t dig myself a deeper hole with those. I did have money in savings though. That hurts. I was ready for Christmas and a few other big things coming up soon.

Deep breath

Instead of spiralling and being upset, I am going to look at the positives. Today is day one. I have work coming in (self employed). This means that soon my bank account will have a bit more money in it. My weekend is busy and so I’ll have little opportunity to even think about gambling. From there, every day I will celebrate my progress. This relapse will be a lesson. I’ll look back at this journal and remind myself of how awful it feels in this moment.

I need a cuppa

[Emma8]

Well it happened again unfortunately, as you said. I didn’t visit the forums every day and instead I just wandered back to the slots. I’m taking a deep breath and trying not to be angry with myself. This is day one again

[Emma8]

Oh absolutely Steev! I think that this forum as just as important for me today as it was the day I found it. The urge to gamble is far less now, but I still receive promo from casinos and often have quiet days when you feel the thoughts start to return of “maybe just one bet”. I’m so grateful for this space and the strength that it gives me!

[Emma8]

I just wanted to jump back into my journal to share a quick update and speak to anyone in the very early stages of their journey.

You’re at the stage where it feels impossible to get out of this deep dark hole. You feel stuck. It does get better.

For the first few days I found myself checking the forum every half an hour, desperate for someone to talk to and help me through the unbelievable urge to gamble again. It helped so much being able to read the stories of other people going through the exact same thing. Stick with it, these days are the most important!

Over the first couple of weeks I settled into a rhythm of checking up on myself every couple of hours. If I felt the need to gamble I paused and thought about it instead of jumping straight into the casino. I came into the forum. I occupied myself with other activities. I also kept an eye on my bank account as it (very slowly) started to look a little healthier. It started with having £20 sitting there and teaching myself not to gamble it away immediately and it grew from there.

Once the first month had past I realised that I was thinking about gambling less and less. On the days I did I came here, but most of the time I was able to change my direction of thought without too much effort.

Now, at three months gambling free, I don’t think about gambling very often at all. When I do, I immediately remind myself how much better I feel without it.

Today I have £500 in my savings account. I know it’s safe and it’s there for a real emergency. The thought of going to the shops doesn’t fill me with dread in case my card doesn’t work. When someone mentions going out I don’t have to work out my bank balance in my head based on the deposits that I know have still to be withdrawn.

It does get better. You do grow. Use the support around you and take things one day at a time.

[Emma8]

I’m so glad to hear that you’re finding other stories helpful. I was the exact same when I started. The longer you stay away from gambling the more progress you will see and the stronger you will feel 🙂

[Emma8]

I love that outlook on things! Each bad habit is hole in the bucket that needs plugged and the fewer the holes the healthier my finances will be. It is taking me a while too because my income is quite low, but the progress is happening and it’s so exciting to see. I’m actually looking forward to things like christmas and other big events over the next year or so because I know I’ll be able to enjoy them without worrying about money. It’s such a nice feeling!

[Emma8]

Just checking in after disappearing for a while and I’m so glad to see you’re heading towards a full month 🙂

The barriers might have done the job last week, but that’s what they’re there for. Sometimes willpower disappears, for everyone at some time or another, and we need those extra steps to protect ourselves.

The barriers feel like a crutch right now, keeping you upright, but their training you away from gambling. Each day you’ll need them a little less and eventually you’ll stay away from gambling purely of your own accord 🙂

Keep going, I’m so happy to see how well you’re doing!

[Emma8]

Just to check in and share that I am feeling stronger each day. I’ve now been gambling free for almost two months and it feels amazing. My bank account is recovering too which is wonderful to see. Just need to keep going!

[Emma8]

Oh I completely agree! Blocks are on at home so even if I was to try and gamble I wouldn’t be able to.

When I’m not at home the best approach I can take is to be open with my phone usage. I used to try and hide my screen as much as possible when I was gambling so I know that if I want to avoid relapsing I need to avoid any secretive use. 

Otherwise, I just need to be vigilant and keep going.  

[Emma8]

I can’t believe I missed the one month mark! The last two weeks have been insanely busy and I completely forgot to check in and celebrate.

It’s a weird feeling. When I first joined gambling therapy I was struggling so much to stay away from gambling and now I often forget that it’s a thing.

I’m not naive. I know I’ll probably face some big hurdles in the future but for the moment I’m doing well and that makes me so happy 🙂

[Emma8]

That’s so funny, I was just about to start writing another post about this!

Work has been busy for me over the last couple of weeks (I freelance) and the site of money staying in my ***** for days at a time without it disappearing to a casino is really keeping me going. Beyond that, I’m comfortably paying my loan payments and I’m starting to look at overpaying. That has never been possible for me before!

I’ve only been gambling free for three and a bit weeks but I’m already seeing a huge change in my life and it’s incredible.

Also happy to report that I have a counselling session booked at noon today. It’s to talk about everything, not just the gambling, but it’s all connected isn’t it?

Feeling very very positive today 🙂

[Emma8]

Well done on self-excluding from so many sites 🙂 I’ve found that a lot of them are owned by the same company, so when you self exclude from one it actually covers several.

How are you feeling now that three weeks has passed?

I’m finding it a bit weird. I haven’t really had the urge to gamble so I’m second guessing myself and thinking “this is too easy”. That’s nonsense of course because I know that I will face triggers at some point and need to ensure I handle them and remain gambling free.

Just got to keep going I guess!

[Emma8]

I know it seems impossible to see it now, but everything is going to be OK.

Start with the basics by putting blocks on everything to stop you from gambling further.

Get in touch with the bank who gave you the loan and explain that you will be unable to make the payment. They will know how to handle everything.

If possible, find a job. It will allow you to pay off the debts but it will also be a healthy distraction for you, filling any time you might otherwise spend gambling.

You’ve done the right thing coming to this forum. I stopped gambling three weeks ago and everyone has been incredibly supportive.

You will be OK, just take each day as it comes

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