[Don14765]

Rising: i’m glad to hear you had a great vacation!
And yes- I try hard to have an “attitude of gratitude “
I try and constantly look for
The positive in my life
When I feel tempted to gamble….

[Don14765]

Rising: how was your Vacation ?
Did you go anywhere amazing?
How is your mindset towards gambling?
I just read a good post that was started a
Few years back….

Asking if a CG can be a controlled gambler…
I’m beginning to believe
That
I’ll always have to be “on alert”
For thoughts about gambling when
I’m angry/ upset at someone …..
Sometimes my thoughts
Come even when I’m happy
And there’s nothing wrong ….

And when I have fallen and relapsed,
It’s done me no good
And I’ve lost more money and my sobriety 😩

[Don14765]

Dark: thanks for your update …
I want to ask you a question:
How do mountain climbers scale a large mountain?
Not just one step at a time ; but also
Keeping an eye on just the one step ahead …

Looking too far ahead as to the “mountain“ they have to climb could get very discouraging and they may just give up?

You may say to yourself “boy this is a long mountain to climb, or in our case this is a long process I have to endure“

But for me, that kind of theory, or mindset will just set me back and I know it

I am no expert in this field of recovery by any means, but what I am saying is I’m just offering a suggestion of possibly just doing one step
(As In mountain climbing) at a time and the days will soon amass if you take that approach….

[Don14765]

JVR: that was very thoughtful of you to help that man out …he certainly needed someone
To be there for him
And you rose up to the occasion
And were there for him…
And yes -these experiences
Are indeed helpful for
Us to know we can be of assistance to others
And
Helps us get out of our negative funk..

[Don14765]

Dark: I appreciate your rigorous honesty 🙂
You have achieved some very good milestones
In your recovery process….!
I have to learn that I should be fighting/surrendering the urges like you have ….
Telling myself that I either fight/surrender the urges or
Go back down that dark hole of losing my money yet again…
Thanks for your inspiration that we can over come this disease progressively….
With effort and understanding of how
Cunning it can be ….

[Don14765]

Thanks Dark Energy, for checking in on me ..
I’m doing just ok…
Got something going on Monday
At work that’s really bothering me…
I’m trying to see good points…
Trying not to “pyramid “ bad
Possibilities….
I can feel the urge starting up to medicate with
Gambling to numb my feelings….
But deep inside me I know I’ll probably feel worse if I gamble …

[Don14765]

Thanks Rising for your response:)
Yes…
It’s like a vicious cycle for sure …
You’re right!
I have to stop this cycle of nonsense..
Stop
Believing that somehow gambling
Will “save the day”

Again- I think the good days -when I keep busy, work , have positive thoughts
I can keep “half an eye”
On the gambling giant…..

It’s when I feel depressed, lonely,
Upset at someone-
That I must NOT turn to gambling
To try and “soothe” the rough feelings….

[Don14765]

Dark: thanks for that analogy…
Makes perfect sense …
A sponsor I had from the past once mentioned to me:
“ there is nothing We can do, unfortunately about the thoughts of gambling coming into our brain, but what matters is if we choose to act on those thoughts or not”

The good days, that we have, are fairly easy to avoid the addiction, or at least I find that, I am busy with work or that I have positive thoughts or there is a movie I want to watch or indulge in one of my constructive hobbies…

The bad days are a huge trigger…
But!
The past shows me that if I give in to my addiction…..
I will end up feeling worse later because
I’ve lost my money (yet again!!)

So I guess what I’m saying is, when we have the bad days, try and be positive, and tomorrow or the next day is usually a better day …and then we let the “storm “ pass us by…
Without giving in(makes me feel
Worse)

[Don14765]

Rising: I am glad to hear you are keeping busy with work,
And glad you’re able to see some savings…
I’ve spoken with other addicts in
Some face to face meetings
In my city a year or so …

And they say the “dark shadow”
Gets better with time away from the addiction…
Never goes completely away…
BUT!!
Gets better to deal with as time goes on, I guess wake up in the morning and say “well I am having a rough day but I will not let my addiction get to me! “ And of course when you are busy working or have a really good day then we could let the “sleeping giant lie“ (gambling giant)and don’t have to worry about giving in to gambling on a positive day:)

[Don14765]

Jvr: I too, struggle with being alone..
Yesterday I had a tough day
Being alone- but I did some delivery of food
And the day went by…..
I now try (although it’s hard!)
To have an “attitude of gratitude “
Look for the positive…
When days like yesterday happened, it’s not easy, but I just have to search and the positive is there…..
Also-
Try and look for the things you do well…
And think/write them down?

I also am trying to accept God’s plan for me.
Maybe he wants me to be alone for the time being?
I have tried dating Apps,
Etc
Nothing seems to work….
So that it could be an indication that right now I am supposed to be alone?

On the other hand, I went to the bank a few weeks ago and I was able to get a loan fairly easily -so maybe that is the positive I am talking about?

And I think that you were mentioning that in your past when you had days like yesterday you would’ve just said F-it
And gambled or used ….
But lately you haven’t !
That’s a positive!

I once read saying that I think could be helpful: “we are so busy adding up our Mis- fortunes, that we forget to count our blessings”

[Don14765]

Rising: thanks ! I was hoping

Bringing that to light would help out…
Hoping you’ll have a gamble -free
Weekend coming up !
An old sponsor /counselor
Last year told me “you have to just ride the wave “
Of a bad day -or someone who’s angered you…
It
Certainly isn’t easy for me…
I’ve always just reached for my drug of choice (usually gambling 😩)

I am slowly learning that
Well we certainly enjoy the good, awesome, wonderful days, we also at some point have to go through the bad days, I really hate them, I do not like them at all, but I am learning that resorting to my addiction is not the answer for sure ..just important to get through the day, and maybe tomorrow will be brighter 😁

[Don14765]

Jvr: glad you got the couch situation figured out
Without that bozo’s “help”
I too,
Last week; got very annoyed
At a so -called friend
Who made me insecure, angry
For at least 3 days!
Deep
Down inside- I knew resorting to gambling
Would have normally been
My path to “temporarily “
Feeling better, but then I knew that later on when I lose all my bets… I would feel worse because now on top of dealing with the angry, insecure feelings I have to deal with losing money too😩

[Don14765]

DArk energy:
I was faced this AM ; and last week with
A similar dilemma….
I recently was approved for a $15,000
Line of credit by my bank..
I still
Owe a loan back to the same bank of $13,000

The loan manager asked me why I
Would want to pay off my $13,000
Loan with
This new line of credit ?

I told her that the line of credit has a lower interest-rate, therefore overtime I wouldn’t be charged as much money….

I then asked her “I can’t have both can I? I can’t have both a loan and the line of credit can I?”
She
Said “why not?”
Wow!
What a trigger that could have been
For me
Take out $10,000
Off my line of credit & re-instate myself
To my local casino I could have done 😩
(I barred myself 3 years ago from any casino
In Ontario, Canada)
I can only barely afford to pay off one
Or the other :
Loan or line of credit but NOT both
😯
Wow- the trouble
I could’ve gotten into had I allowed myself to do that, it would’ve been the finishing touches that for almost 100% certain I would never be able to bounce back from😩

So I guess what I’m saying is, the gambling devil or however you want to identify gambling; will seem to always try and creep itself back into our lives and entice us, I think the best solution is to avoid these triggers altogether and take the “hard road“… it may not be easy, but in the long run it will benefit us
Or so I feel …

[Don14765]

Your welcome, Rising….
Glad to see you once again have alotted
your money
To the right people/places and trying your best
To Avoid triggers….

Regarding what you say about feeling bad over the money you have lost over the last decade, I do agree with Kin’s suggestion of writing down a journal of your gratitude list for sure …I certainly try to!

But I also want to add something -it’s a short story, but I think it’s important to share it with you & everyone on this therapy site …I have a favourite baseball team ;now called the “Cleveland guardians“

So at the beginning of the season I said to myself “I wonder how the broadcasters on the radio (which I love to listen to,) are going to transition from “Cleveland Indians”to the Cleveland guardians …saying the name I mean, so I thought they may have a couple of mock broadcastings before the season starts??

Well to my surprise, they did slip up a couple of times and say “Indians“ or they have said “tribe”!!

Well lately, when I listen to the broadcast, they have now completely transitioned over to, Cleveland guardians“

What I’m saying is, when we are used to doing a certain motion/act…

And we have done it for a long time, we have to be patient while trying hard
To change …What I am not saying is …it is perfectly OK to fail -no!!if you can succeed ; do so for sure!!

But it does take some time and effort to re-train our brain into not gambling
Regardless of what negative /bad things
We faced that day/week…
Hope this helps 🙂

[Don14765]

How have you been lately Rising?

[Author]

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