[Don14765]

DE: hope you’re still sober today; and keep up the good work-one day at a time 🙂

[Don14765]

Thanks JVR & DE for your responses!
JVR: I don’t know how you can take a
Mental bearing from a foreman who’s that
Kind of an idiot
But kudos to you for doing your best to ignore him
And realize you can only control
Your own actions
And not his ….

DE: yes-I am done some cost benefit analysis before, it is never worth it to gamble or so it seems calmer just the “hopeful promise” that I will win something big one day??!

Not a good theory..

Today, Wednesday, September 21, I came into some money that I got reimbursed for a hearing aid , my work reimbursed today in the sum of
$2400
Thanks to the community here, I immediately paid a bill that I owed, and put some of it towards my line of credit that I owe money too…

I am very grateful that I got that advice from this forum, if you have extra money …delegate it right away to bills or family before you spend it on any kind of gambling…

[Don14765]

Jvr: thank you for your kind reply! I am not like most guys, I am not afraid to discuss my feelings and say if I feel sensitive or weak that day?

I think the reason why most guys that are “tough” don’t wanna admit that they are sensitive are feeling a little bit down the day or are trouble by something is that they want to remain “tough” and if they tell you these things that they are sensitive or whatever the issue is ..then they feel inadequate and they are not living up to the tough guy role ?

It’s interesting that you bring this up, because there is a trainer/supervisor type person at my work for a few days this week training new people..

I have worked with her before and had nothing but issues with her, she is very insulting and I truly believe she does not like being around me …and quite frankly that is very triggering for me, the first thought of course is to medicate with gambling ☹️

I do have some positive news about her though that I am trying to really concentrate on …that at least she ignores me and doesn’t even acknowledge my existence which could be a good thing? And perhaps I should be looking at that more than anything..?

I think it’s important that I look at the positives and not dwell on the negative, and maybe that will stop my triggers and then I can carry on with my day without giving into gambling…

[Don14765]

DE: I am definitely person a)
And -no!
You weren’t being harsh at all, you were just asking me to be honest -rigorously honest, and if I am going to achieve sobriety, and if I’m going to achieve battling this disease then I need to be as honest as I can

I guess I feel I don’t wanna give it up I think? I am afraid to live without it? And I think deep inside I really want to try and control gambling??

If I may, I have a question for you -how did you get to be person b) ??

How did you tell yourself “this disease is ruining my life, it is controlling me, I know that I need to stop and stay stopped and I will do whatever it takes and whatever is required of me to stop??

[Don14765]

Thought I would post ..another
Member on this forum was nice enough to point out that I haven’t checked in with my progress in a while…

I am still struggling with control issues, that is I seem to think that there is someway I can control and enjoy this addiction!

But every time I go to play I do lose quite a bit, and two things that I noticed lately

The withdrawal symptoms I experience are really really prevalent and really strong and maybe I somehow believe they are too difficult to overcome and so I just given to gambling on that day?

Also I find it difficult when the feelings come in my head (I was told by an old sponsor that you cannot stop the thoughts coming into your head but you can certainly not listen to those thoughts)

And it’s tough to say “no”

But then I get upset because I’ve lost money? So that’s the insanity of this disease, I want to stop losing money but yet I want to somehow control the amount I gamble and also try and control
The thoughts coming in 😒

I find the posts on this forum very helpful, when people list how much sobriety they have, and the ways that they overcome their bad days…

[Don14765]

DE: yes… I agree 100% with you,
Small relapses
Sometimes happen and important we
Get back “on the horse “
As soon as possible…

I wanted to say I believe one of your keys for success -as you’ve had many thoughts come in your head and you know just say no every time they come in….

This is something I need to do, the feelings are so overwhelmingly strong when I hear voices of “oh it’s only a small amount, or oh you might get lucky this time”

But I am learning Albeit slowly,
That even a small amount of gambling just sets off all kinds of triggers and just sets me down that dark road again…

But kudos to you for getting back on the horse and starting to add up your gamble free days!

[Don14765]

Jvr: thank you for your support! I agree with you 100% of these companies out there, lotteries, online gambling, etc. don’t really care

If I waste my entire paycheque on these things, and when I went for grief counseling, that’s the first thing they said, was to not get into buying anything extravagant or gambling or spending money of any kind…

It is indeed sad that these companies/online gambling sites etc. take it vantage of people but there is some good news!

We are all on this site to support one another when we struggle and also to share our good days that we have and how we remained gamble free for another day 😀

[Don14765]

DE: you’re welcome..I just want to be able to help out in return- I’ve read a lot of helpful posts and hints from experienced/helpful folks here….

Yes- the beginning seems tough to get going,
But you do have that experience
Of getting past that 1st day- a very good trait!
I’m sad to hear you didn’t make it into work –
I hope you were able to get back to work &
Also hope you’re able to put that 1st day behind you and get back on the horse
And stay gamble free-
One day at a time…

[Don14765]

Jvr: I’m glad you’ve had a good day today !yes- always best to not let anyone drag you down and get to you …and I hear you ….a few years ago my parents died –
Within 7 months of each other…
I did get some grieving counseling,
But only about 8 months later

And after I had spent all of my bonus
Cheque (worth thousands)
On gambling to try and soothe
My inability to deal with The grief…

4 years later here I am
And it’s easier to deal with
My parents’ passing….not great-
But it is easier nowadays…

I only wish I would have known
It would get easier in time
And not waste those thousands on
Gambling in order to deal with
Grieving 😩

[Don14765]

DE: it’s sounds like you’ve
Figured out a strategy so that you could never trade again, and it may have taken a little bit of work, a little bit of thought on your part …but it looks like you’ve got it down to a science and that’s great!

I’ve relapsed so much in the last couple weeks I’ve probably lost count 😣
But You’ve amassed some
Great sobriety
And I have no doubt you can get to those
Milestones (and more!)
Once again ….

[Don14765]

Rising: thanks for sharing that
…I, too, have lost a significant amount of money trying to
Win ….
Yes – you are right, it is not worth it -it seems like it’s a never ending cycle, you win some, and you wanna win more, you lose, and you wanna make up for what you’ve lost…
Or we’ve won and wanna keep
On
Winning -until a loss sets in…
Then that cycle starts all over again 😩
Craziness!
So yes-
Best for me (and may I say all of us here ?)

To avoid that gambling trap altogether…

[Don14765]

Yes- A life without wasting any additional money, a life without any additional stress involving this addiction is the ultimate goal for sure!

That’s a good
Idea- to not have “extra money”
On hand
That is tempting for
Sure …

A lot of the info (and thank you for sharing! )That you have pointed out here I have no idea how it feels since I have a hard time getting any kind of good sobriety…

I hate being a “slave”
To this addiction and also
I feel
“Trapped”
And
I know
Deep inside myself that I know I have to go through the very important beginning stages of being GF….
Oh-no-
I am powerless (step one)
Over this addiction
I have tried unsuccessfully to “control”
It time and again
I believe I’m either very stubborn
Or I’m afraid to “let the addiction “
Go….
Thanks for
Sharing your view- and what has made you successful so far 😁

[Don14765]

Rising: I am happy to hear that you have a loving and supporting family! It is a wise idea to give them control over your money so as to not feed your addiction and congratulations on your lengthly sobriety!

When you get tempted to gamble, do you think of the money that you lost over the years? Does that help you avoid going out and gambling again? I was once told by an old sponsor in order to have a change you have to go through “ The pain of change”

But it’s well worth the pain! Because you are not feeding your addiction, but it’s either that or “the pain of staying the same”

And the Pain in staying the same is definitely worse…

Keep
Up the great work!

[Don14765]

DE: that’s Great that you had 188 days of sobriety!
May I ask you: how many times do you think
You’ve had withdrawal symptoms during that
Time?
How did you get past those feelings? Did you “white knuckle” it and keep refusing and refusing until the moment died down? Or did you find something else to occupy your time- such as a hobby?

I am asking this because number one I am happy for you that you reached that kind of mark of sobriety, and number 2 I seem to have a heck of a time with withdrawal symptoms lately….and they seem so overpowering that I just give in and it’s relapse after relapse 😕

[Don14765]

Hi Lisa and welcome to the forum…I am somewhat new to the forum….

For myself; I just know that gambling is not the right thing for me to do, I never seem to win a whole lot and also it makes me feel worse after I lost a lot of money that I could’ve saved if I didn’t gamble ….
I have hobbies
I like to do
Doing crossword puzzles , playing guitar
Watching TV
IF I’m actively doing these things , my
Mind shifts and focuses on

My hobbies …
Of course, all this takes time to take your mind off gambling, but it’s a matter of “retraining your brain“
To
Focus on something else other than gambling …emotions
Can be indeed powerful….

For me, some days it feels like the end of the world if this doesn’t happen, or if that doesn’t happen ..sometimes I find myself being impatient and I don’t wanna go through the steps of going through the motions….

But , for me, indulging in gambling has always resulted in a loss…and always feeling worse after because I spent the money and I can’t get it back now….

[Author]

Posts