[CraigMac6]

Hey Sjc1

I really appreciate your post and taking time to do so.

Yesterday was my daughter’s 6th birthday. It was another birthday without be being able to do much for her because of my gambling choices. It was sad really. She didn’t go without but she didn’t get a lot either. That’s the way it’s been her entire life. My gambling took away from not only the materialistic stuff but the time as well. I make pretty good money but I’m always broke because of gambling. There are many paydays 6k is deposited into my account and it’s down to cents within hours. Mostly due to paying for past gambling expenses or current ones. That’s not how I want to live my life and it’s really not who I am but I can admit gambling changes me greatly and not for the better.
Today I will continue the journey and strive to be my best me. The only way for that to happen is if I refuse to place that first bet.
Congrats on a year

[CraigMac6]

Hello

I didn’t want today to pass without me posting my day free of gambling. I stayed really busy today. I’ve said it over and over but I’m my best when I don’t gamble without a doubt. Stay focused. One day at a time.

[CraigMac6]

Hey Iamhere,

I fell off the wagon again. It was a rough couple of weeks . Binge gambling. But I’m back and I’m happy to be here. I don’t have all the answers I just know I want a better life.
I heard something the other day that really stuck with me. It’s called “choose your hard.”
It goes like this:

Being overweight is hard, being in shape is hard; choose your hard.

Divorce is hard. Marriage is hard. Choose your hard.

Communicating is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard.

They went on to give a few more examples and I thought of gambling and thought:

Being addicted to gambling is hard. Not gambling is hard. Choose your hard. Today I choose the not gambling hard!
They both are hard but one will ease up as time passes the other will ALWAYS BE HARD. it’s really hard to gamble. The highs the lows, the time, the energy, the stress. It never ends…

Day 1

[CraigMac6]

Hi everyone,

Day 3. I’ve been really busy these last 3 days. Busy living you’d say. It’s been a great feeling to be able to do what needs to be done without constantly checking my phone for a score or to make a wager. I feel free. Life is still tough, like it is for everyone but I see my vision as much clearer.
I hope everyone is doing well.
See you tomorrow.

[CraigMac6]

Congratulations on 1 year free!

[CraigMac6]

Hey folks,

Here I am on day two. I’ve done things a little differently this time. I’m keeping a journal and I’ve time writing down my top ten reasons I no longer want gambling in my life. I have read those over today and the goal is to do so each day to keep those “why’s” in the forefront of my quit.
Gambling is such a vicious cycle and seems to take its toll on all of us in the same manner.
I know I need to take some time and come to terms with some of the mistakes I made in the past due to my choice to gamble but I know I cannot dwell on them.
Here’s to day number 2 of the lifelong journey.
Have a great day

[CraigMac6]

Hello everyone,

I’m back again after another long destructive gambling spree. Once again it wasn’t worth it at all and I lost much more money than I can afford to lose. There are times when I’m thinking clearly and realize that I cannot win and gambling is really taking my life. Then there are moments when my I believe I’m ok and I have a handle on things.
Maybe that’s why most of us fail because that moment of believing we can control our gambling allows us to slip into placing that one more bet. I think we can all agree that this isn’t easy, but as I move forward today I know I don’t want to place a bet because it really impacts my life in a negative way.

Have a great day all.
Day 1
Craig

[CraigMac6]

Good day all.

Here I am at day 2. Taking it with the one day at a time approach. All is well and I have made a commitment to myself today to not place any wagers or gamble in any form.

Have a great day !

[CraigMac6]

sjc thank you for your post. I appreciate you stopping in.
I had a great day. One thing about not gambling, it seems like there are so many more minutes in the day to accomplish task. You are right, I want to experience my old self- pre gambling addict. I want to remember what it’s like to live for something other than an outcome of a game.

One day at a time!

[CraigMac6]

Hello,

I’m using voice to text so some of the wording might be a little difficult to understand. However, today is a big day for me because it is payday normally on payday the very first thing that I do is make sure my online gambling account is funded with a couple hundred dollars. Usually that couple hundred dollars has lost within the first hour and then I put more in and I put more in instead I woke up this morning, and I started to focus on my bills and started to pay off the debt that I have encouraged since well, the last 15 years of my life. I urge to gamble and add money to my account in my mind. I just keep replaying how even if I win I lose because I never take out the money and the time in the energy that I devote to watching the game or checking the score is not worth continuously losing my money over. I’ve had a good last couple days really busy with work a lot of driving but it’s been a lot of rewards as well knowing that I can get through certain times without having to place a wager I can drive without having to check scores and I can live my life without gambling and really be a better father husband I just wanted to check. I hope everyone is doing well and remember keep fighting the good fight.

[CraigMac6]

Thank you for your kind words Kin. I have no idea what tomorrow holds. But I do know the more I gambled the more I became someone I did not want to be. And I believe I got to point my life for I want to be able to do the things and achieve goals that I have for myself, and for my family and gambling was really truly holding me back. Not only losing money, but also all the time Would cause me to be depressed after a loss or on cloud nine after a win. One of the turning points for me is even when I won. I never saw that money because I didn’t have the discipline to quit playing more more until it was gone. When you really sit back and think about it, what’s the point of putting all that time and energy into something when you know it’s a losing proposition it really makes no sense. Like I said, I don’t have this figured out. Tomorrow Maybe a failure or it might be successful. I’m not sure but I’m really just trying to stay in the moment and remember if my and the things that I want to achieve and for that today, I make a promise to you and to myself That I will not gamble !
Have a great day!

[CraigMac6]

Day 8 and things are going well. I know in the past when I would try to quit gambling. I would always have regrets that I didn’t do it earlier. and I believe that regret sometimes hindered me from moving forward with my quit of gambling. This time feels different mean I have it all figured out. But I have a deep sense within myself that I’m just so tired of losing money losing time losing myself in the whole process and I can’t change the past, but I can make sure Tomorrow is better than today. There’s only one way for me to be my best person. That’s not gamble. It’s been a nice eight days. I’ve passed a lot of mile markers. About 15 hours. The last two days were in the past I would gamble those 15 hours. I look forward to continuing this journey

[CraigMac6]

Hi Kim,

Like you, I’ve failed on my quit attempts over and over. One thing I found interesting about your story is you still have your priorities in line. You said you don’t gamble until after dinner, dishes are done. Emails are done. Etc. well honestly, as the addiction gets stronger you’ll soon notice those things won’t get done and all you’ll want to do is gamble. You won’t want to do the dishes. You will put off your work. If we don’t make a decision to quit today, no matter what happens in our life/ day, things will only get worse. It will not get better. I know you can do this. Quit now before it takes complete control of your life because it will.

Craig

[CraigMac6]

Hello,

I hope everyone is doing well. I check in today and day seven without gambling and it has been a very productive week. The last two days have been very busy as I moved my daughter into college to start a freshman year, which is really exciting and to be able to do that without Worrying about a sporting event or a wager was absolutely incredible. Yesterday I had a long drive for work and normally I spend the entire trip gambling on a tennis match per se. But yesterday I was able to do the entire trip without even thinking about placing a wager Again and incredible feeling at a big step to my journey to regain my freedom. I hope all of you are doing well. Well, this is definitely not easy and I know their challenging days very soon. I do feel good that I’ve made it this far have a great day and I’ll be checking in tomorrow.

[CraigMac6]

Here I am. Day 4. Day 4 was a little
Tougher due to my job having me on the road for hours on end. Normally that would be my time to place multiple wagers while not paying attention to the road. Very stupid decision to be honest. Head in my phone while driving on the interstate at 70 mph while watching the scores of a tennis match. I’m lucky nothing ever came of those terrible decisions. I made it all day without placing a wager, mostly because I already know the outcome. My money gone! I’ll see y’all tomorrow for another day of no gambling!

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