[abettertomorrow]

Hello all……..
Quick update, not gambled in 298 days. Debts down to just over £4k (was nearly £16k). Life vastly improved, been out there having a life, not stuck in my own self made gambling prison. Not had a single urge, still hate the gambling industry.

I think this far in and common sense over fear of complaceny take over and despite numerous ways and opportunity to gamble, none of it appeals to me! Blocks are actually not as strong due to moving to a new property and area (a positive move) and new places to gamble available. I think when I give it some though, I take myself out of my body and watch myself walk into a betting shop or worse still input my card details online and just see a different person now. In fact buying items this Black Friday on my card was odd as usually it would have been gambling sites that I was frantically putting my numbers into.
Do we get cured? No, I can never gamble. But the difference is now I have zero desire to gamble. I am better educated as to where gambling will lead. Winning and losing is both negative, you are never “up”, your problem is just prolonged. I’d rather work hard on maintaining amazing relationships, being great at work and replacing dopamine kicks with positive things happening in my life.
Quitting gambling was the best thing I ever did. I am a different person now, back to the person I used to be before gambling, but hell of a lot wiser!
Take care all! Abet

[abettertomorrow]

Hi Pea,

Thanks for your kind comments! You will get there! I just found there are some important steps to take.

1. Accept your losses – enough is enough – the only way to win is keep hold of your cash

2. Blockers blockers blockers

3. Hate the gambling industry. See the bigger picture years down the line and imagine where you can end up! I hate gambling, I get a similar rush out of doing my daily life. I’ve got realistic goals and no longer look at gambling as a quick fix! Gambling sets you back, not moves you on and is a complex state of emotion which is not natural for any of us.

4. Reward yourself! Instead of pining over what lost money could have bought, I treat myself with items that wouldn’t be afforded had I continued gambling. And over halved my debt in 7 months and one week. Nothing can replace that amazing feeling!

I think we are all capable of change. Determination and honesty are two factors for me! I last gambled before being in my current relationship. I told my new partner about my rock bottom night and the gambling. She supported me and it has never been mentioned since. Aside from a casino boat cruse we went on where I didn’t gamble a penny! She totally understood why and commented how against gambling k am now! Another reason not to gamble! I’m not the lying or cheating type so couldn’t spend my time running around behind her back and covering my tracks! But even without her, I wouldn’t have done it again. I dunno, it’s hard to put into words how I feel about gambling. It’s not a temptation any more. I’ve always been ridiculously against drugs (never judge anyone obviously, each to their own) and I think I have dropped gambling into that category now. I guess it is a drug, dopamine?

You’ll get there Pea! Nothing wrong with a relapse as long as you learn and tighten to blocks. I did hit my rock bottom which is nothing like other people’s rock bottom I suppose. But each to their own situation and I nipped it in the bud before it sucked all of my funds. I could be sitting here £75k in debt, not £6k. There’s the bigger picture!

Stay strong….apologies for a bit of a ramble!

[abettertomorrow]

All good on the gambling front.

The thing that has struck me is all the benefits of not gambling. Debt now halved, had some great experiences, times, events, new friends, bought nice items. All not possible with gambling and opportunities that would have been taken away.

The most important benefit however is stronger relationships with those around me. I’m no longer an angry, bitter, uncontrollable mess that I was when starting this journey in recovery. Even fun to be around, can have a laugh and a giggle. Back to old me, gambling behind me and looking at a great future.

Marathon, not a sprint. Getting closer to where I want to be every day.

Stay strong people!

[abettertomorrow]

Hi Adam,

Not posted to you before…..but your story is inspirational. Look, mortgage only affects your statements for up to six months. I have done a fair bit of research into this. Keep it clean and no worries. Your current savings would be enough to get a deposition for you and your partner.

More importantly, see this a marathon and not a sprint. Not giving you advice as you went well over a year and I am on 200 days but I’m just trying to chill some problems. House will be no problem, just use that to keep off the online slots. Get a mortgage in Lrinciple if you are worried! If not, there is always renting while you look.

Cheers for your amazing posts! One slip isn’t a huge deal and you are doing ace!

[abettertomorrow]

Well another milestone passes! Day 200 is here! Thank you so much to Charles for his initial comment of “what are you doing differently” and making me eat my words after saying the usual gambler schtick of “never again” and “can’t see myself doing it again”! You sir are a gent and have had the single most impact! Not because I want to prove you wrong, but because you are right! I needed to step my game up and came to the realisation of gamble and bad things will happen to you, even if you are winning. Thanks to Pea for your encouragement also!

So day 200 is upon me and not a single urge to bet even though I could right now. That is how I know I won’t! My determination and constantly watching for Mr Gamble to try and get into my life again means he won’t! I still use blockers but having been released into the wilderness on occasions such as pub meets or whatever, I still won’t do it!

So much more to lose in life and the quick fix of dopamine is no longer worth it! I draw that feeling from family, friends, leisure activities that are character building and fulfilling, not destructive. Debt down to an all time low, only six months more to go for my own personal debt. Gambling debt was kicked into touch four months ago. If anything, it put my life in perspective and managed to sort things out.

Don’t gamble, it’s poison.

Take care all!

[abettertomorrow]

Hi all,

Quick update! 193 days since that fateful day. £3000 down chasing a loss of £1800 that day. The funny thing is, do I miss the money? Nope

I am a huge believer in self improvement and what resonates with me was the above person who jumped straight on my thread and asked what was I doing differently this time round? I took that as not only how are you stopping gambling and making changes, but a total life overhaul! I broke it down into several categories!

Money – well money comes and goes. Loads of ways to rational it. I could argue that I learnt a lesson or I paid £5k over six months to never gamble again. I paultry sum as compared to a lifetime of gambling that we could all face. The simple truth is, the money simply does not matter. It does however force us to address the serious points of gambling…….time lost, relationships, anxiety, shame, fear. Is that fleeting rush really worth giving all that up? I say no. So a quick review of finances and six months later over 8k of a 15k debt paid off, 5k due to gambling! I could argue my gambling debt is well and truely paid. But is the debt to myself, the sleepless nights and self loathing? I don’t have any of that now……but the two hours or so I spent gambling is nothing compared to the weeks and months spent anxious, depressed and typically not yourself. Money comes and goes……..it’s gone, accept it. Even if we win, it goes back in and more. It’s a self destructing roller coaster.

Negative emotions – well speaking out really helps. Asking for friends for support, loved ones, family members! Two of my friends know, they helped me no end. Just talking, especially in the early stages of recovery. Forums and chat rooms really help. Following advice (my initial thread showed what I do). I focuses on the time/money/location triangle and never let up. The funny thing is, from not having time to gamble, my life is filled of cool stuff, great people and great plans that are achievable! Gambling doesn’t get a look in. As for location, can’t gamble at home, have had so much opportunity in recent months to do it elsewhere but have not even thought about it. I just see these flashing machines, adverts on to and computer and a bookie on every corner as a product of a gilded generation and poison to society. How our government allows such a risk to people to be glamorised, accepted and promoted is beyond me. Yes, I was once a victim, but never again! I even watched a poor fellow human stuff nite after note into a FOBT at a service station today. I wanted to shake the guy by the head and stop him, but I just sat there and drank my coffee and left shaking my head. But I was THAT stupid once. As for money, I have always had full access to my own money, cards and accounts. Money being paid off quickly but the best bit is when deciding on a purchase I justify it by thinking, well what is £20 when you stuffed £3k one night into an online fruity! Take the £20 item, enjoy it because that is money better spent than gambling.

I suppose I have learnt a lot about myself. But it only works when you say enough is enough. I have stuck to that and always will. I hate gambling in all forms, even pass on the various office sweepstakes. Lottery is a no no, anything that is wagering money is off the table. In a week I celebrate 200 days. I do not feel bad about it anymore……it’s the past, the future is amazing but only if we are gamble free.

If you are reading this and want a better life, be strong and say no. Don’t give gambling a chance, give yourself one. It’s possible to quit, let the losses go, set up a plan and stick to it!

Will post in a couple of months. One day at a time…….it works 🙂

[abettertomorrow]

Hi all,

Just a quick update to tell you I am on 125 days gamble free and not had a single urge. For reasons I won’t go into, gambling is not for me and I do dislike the gambling industry very much, but that is largely due to my own weakness!

Life is far better, debts down to the lowest they have been in years, paid off by the end of the year. Trying new hobbies and revisiting old and living a far more fulfilled life now. No turning back as everything is positive having not gambled at all!

It was just a matter of tweaking my blocks and doing things differently. I have also altered my mindset away from gambling and I’m also petrified of the end outcome of gambling when it inevitably goes wrong. Finally, I simply do not enjoy it now and am happy to be off the emotional roller coaster. Lesson well and truly learnt, I for one can never gamble, no matter how small it is!

Stay strong people!

[abettertomorrow]

Day 40 approaches in two and a bit hours. Not been here for a while as I’ve found myself getting caught up in other people’s stories.

Set up blockers, received some support and 40 days on nearly, feeling great about everything. Money is being paid back, managed to get it all paid back by the end of this month. So back to square one.

Not had a single urge to gamble and now desensitised to gambling in all forms. 40 days of recovery have opened new doors and opportunities in my life and looking forward to a gamble free future. A great future, a positive future.

Not getting complacent as I know how it can come back, blockers always staying on for life. Will post again in another 40 days!

Take care!

[abettertomorrow]

I really like that term! It is a challenge! We all face them in our lives, this one is just very costly! I like your £20 per day! Paying off in 100 days is awesome! I’m going for three months so I can then say I’m in the same position I was three months ago! Same position but with a valuable life lesson behind me and a great future ahead of me! We will get there, and rejoice when done so!

[abettertomorrow]

Hi!

Well done on a week! I’ve hit eight days today and already feeling super positive so you must feel awesome also! I had an epiphany two nights ago! Realised that I have not had to even test my blockers. I know they are there but not even tried them! Great to have if I have an urge but not had one yet! I’ve kept busy, as you have, done things I normally wouldn’t have! The only residue is beating myself up over the weekend about doing it one more time. But now, I have let that go, seeing it as an important life lesson that I had to learn the hard way!

A person who faces their problems head on is a winner in my book. You are that winner as you are dealing with it. Imagine what your life will be in a years time with no gambling? It will certainly be an improvement. I feel positive that I’m facing this problem and my new high is the feelings that not gambling brings! I’m already feeling like a happier, more positive and better person! We all make mistakes in life but it is those with the courage to say no, stop now, I’m not doing this anymore, these are the winners!

Stay strong buddy! We are doing this together! All of us!

[abettertomorrow]

That sounds brilliant, well done! I like your saving mechanism and the double yellows, that is genius!

I’m doing exactly the same thing, spending more time with friends, enjoying myself a lot more. Have a busy day today but that is great. It’s all mind set and remembering that by not gambling, you are winning! I’d like to win every day so that is where I am at!

Going anywhere nice for holiday? Keep posting mate!

[abettertomorrow]

Hi all.

Went out again last night, more temptation but not for me so really happy. Woke up feeling really remorseful about getting into this in a blink of an eye and having a relapse after the 67 days. Feeling numb, but absolutely no temptation. More thinking about being in debt, which while has been added to slightly from gambling, I’m just waiting for the day to be debt free. I have my plan in place, blockers stronger than ever and know what to do instead of feeding the beast. Remorseful but hopeful. Feeling lucky I haven’t let it take over my life and recognised the problem after three sessions online. ODAAT.

[abettertomorrow]

Seems on my phone that I cannot add a new thread so replying again!

Day two, been down the pub! Temptation everywhere. Didn’t look twice, had a great night and didn’t even think about gambling despite a couple of beers. Kinda reminded me of what life was like before this. Feeling good that if I can stare the flashing lights square in the face and not want to put a penny in, i’m doing ok. More determined than ever! Come home, just wanna play call of duty. No laptop, no K9 needed to save me. No urge, no desire. Cut the losses loose. This is my life to win back and if I’m drunk thinking this, which is normally my trigger tbh, I think progress has been made! Looking forward to day three! Nice tidy day planned, no time to think about the beast! ODAAT!

[abettertomorrow]

We do seem to share more than a few sinalarities! I’ve never done sports betting, don’t know enough to have a punt! It’s really the lure of the slots but as I’ve only done it a couple of times it got out of hand very quickly! Financially it’s a small set back but I just worry it might become a huge set back if I continue! As you, an intelligent guy and can’t work out why I spent so much on those two occasions! But draw a line under it and move on, forget the losses! I even look at it that if it has cost me $4000 or so dollars never to gamble again in my life then it’s money well spent. But of course, I need to make sure that is the last money I ever spend on it.

Feeling quite secure as my only vice is online slots, never been to a bookie or casino and don’t have the lure. I installed K9 and it’s brilliant. I cannot get on anything so think as long as that is on there, all is good! Positive, day two tomorrow! Can’t wait!

Keep posting buddy!

[abettertomorrow]

Thanks Charles, I scored 5 on the quiz. Was some interesting questions that were asked. I also forgot to add that I am replacing gambling with positive things such as gym, being creative, being sociable and just things that I normally wouldn’t have done due to gambling loss.

It’s funny but by taking steps I already feel a lot better. I feel positive, pro active and understand what a challenge this is!

Cheers

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