[I have to make a change]

So. Where to start?
Feel a bit like a fraud as have been on here before and poured my heart out.
Pokies are my thing. Or were my thing (using past tense as feeling hopeful)
So briefly… Bad marriage… Gambled to ‘escape’, ran up loads of debt, relationship worsened due to lies and secrecy. Divorce.
But wait… Gambling had it’s grips well and truly in me…. So the habit continued.
Anyway… I have declared bankruptcy simply because there was no way out. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
And now it’s up to me. A fresh start. Well… With significant income payments… For the next 3 years.
But…. This fresh start won’t be so fresh if my habits don’t change.
Hence I’m back.
I am preoccupied with gambling. Days off at the pokies. Casino games on phone (just play games) and I watch YouTube clips of people winning every day.
I am scared that I won’t get a grip of this… So I’m reaching out.

[velvet]

Hello I have to… and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[i-did-it]

Hi I have to ,

If you feel like a fraud I must be the biggest and worse fraud on here – I have been on this site for about eight years (I think) and I stopped gambling g again for the new year – I haven’t gambled this year so I am feeling very hopeful .

Well done on reaching out – I’m not sure how much help you have received in the past but my will power is not great and I have had to put lots of barriers in place which make it impossible for me to gamble- I have betfilter on my phone for example .
It doesn’t matter how many times we have tired in the past – this time we can do it .
I would advise you block all access to gambling in whatever way you can – then when you have weak moments (I have them regularly ) you simply cannot gamble .

I hope his helps and I hope you really believe you can stop gambling – this is a horrible illness but once we control it it no longer can destroy our lives .

[I have to make a change]

Yes it is a living nightmare isn’t it! So much self loathing that happens when u have a blow out. While I haven’t gone and blown thousands in a night… I go and loose 2-3 hundred regularly. And if I’m down to my last 100 b4 payday then I justify how little I need to live off just so that I can go.
I know I can’t control it once I’m there… So the trick is not to go. At all. And it doesn’t bring me joy… It brings loneliness and boredom… Because as a result of flitting away my money… I’m bound to the house with little spare to socialise or for fuel to get out and about. And it is then this massive revolving circle… Because come pay day… I’m desperate to get out! I want off the merry go round.
Thanks for your kind words xxx

[lizbeth4]

Hi. You’re not a fraud. We will never be able to control our gambling. Loneliness and boredom are triggers for me also. I’m trying to find hobbies that i can enjoy. Once winter is over here, I’m going to find a place to volunteer. Keeping busy=no gambling. Being broke and trying to get by till next payday is getting old! How about you. Interested in any hobbies??? Keep posting and stay strong!

[I have to make a change]

So I’m at day 2 today of no gambling. Was very tempted when I finished work yesterday. The justifications started rolling around in my head… If I just go with $50 etc… But I didn’t.
Old habits die hard!
Hobbies to occupy my time? Not many… It is something I struggle with. However… I have never had any money spare for hobbies with my habit. Hoping that I can find some interest in things to occupy my time. Must do some research!

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