[Lego93]

Before this weekend I had been over 1000 days free from gambling. I got complacent and placed one football bet which lost and before I knew it I was £800 down chasing that loss. £500 of the £800 was lost in 2 spins of the roulette wheel. I can’t believe I‘m at this point. I remember the pain in my mums eyes when I first told her I had a problem and she had just started to believe that I was better. I’m so disappointed with myself. £800 doesn’t sound huge to most people, but I’m a medical student who does part time first aid work for my spare money. It will take me 2 months to make £800. Luckily my rent is already paid for the next month, but I have no idea how I’m going to get my finances in order while also revising for my upcoming exams. I’ve been at rock bottom before, but this time I’m lower than I even knew existed. This HAS to be the last time I find myself in this position because my family and my career are on the line. I’ve put my mate in charge of my finances for a bit and I’m hoping starting this forum will help me get back to 1000 days and beyond, one day at a time. If you’re reading this and you’re in as much pain as me then just know you’re not alone. I’m supposed to be intelligent and i do a highly trusted job. I’m tired of living this double life. This is take 2 of my recovery. Day 1. Thanks for reading, love and strength to you all.

[vera]

A thousand days is a long time in the life of a young person.
One day is all a recovering gambler needs to lay claim to.
Let today be that day, for you.
One bet is all a CG needs to self destruct. I know because I have done it so many times. Every “win” was lost again and every loss was chased, in vain.
It ALWAYS ends in tears.
I feel your pain.
Having easy access to £ 800 is not a good idea for people with a gambling addiction and as you say, that money is hard earned.
Living a double life takes it’s toll. ‘Been there too. Secrecy and hidden funds are our passage to further gambling.
For what it’s worth, intelligence doesn’t make us immune to addiction. When we place that first bet, we lose our rational sense and immediately become powerless over gambling.
Well done on coming back here for help. It’s not easy to “eat humble pie”.
I wish you well in your studies and in recovery.

[Steev]

You have perhaps learnt a valuable lesson here. That despite 1000 days of abstinence (and well done on that) you are still a problem gambler and just one bet will lead to more and more betting. As a medical student – you will know a bit about the brain’s working and what synapses are fired once we go back to our old habits. So don’t be too hard on yourself.

I now think of gambling as my version of peanut allergy. I might love peanuts and I can see other people eating peanuts with no ill effects – but if I was to eat just one peanut (gamble) it would be disastrous. I can live without peanuts – I just have to watch for them creeping up on me when I have my guard down!

So keep yourself strong, don’t try and chase the losses, don’t test yourself to see if you are no longer a cg. Keep studying, get a wonderful job in the medical world – make a difference.

[Lego93]

2 days since the end of my binge. I have felt incredibly low at times, but I managed to call my bank and explain the situation to them. luckily they are being very supportive and will give me a few months to get the account in order again. I’m also picking up a few extra shifts in the next couple of weeks. Been concentrating of my studies and went to an exercise class last night that I used to attend regularly. Hoping that if I surround myself with supportive people and spend my time doing productive things my mood will improve. I can’t help but feel like I’ve let myself down, but the messages of support on here from people who understand this addiction certainly help me feel less worthless. Thanks guys. I will not gamble today. Onwards and upwards

[brucey]

I’m a doctor (ST3). No one is immune to this. Register with Gamstop, it’s the single best thing you can do if your problem is with the online stuff. It saved me.

[Lego93]

Have registered. Thanks for the advice! It’s also nice to know there are other medical people who have been through it. It seems like we learn about drug and alcohol addicition all the time, but doctors often overlook addictions when there is no abuse of substance involved.

[Author]

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