[konj1978]

Hello, 

first of all, sorry for my bad English and gramatical errors, i am writing on mobile phone and its not easy, but i wll try my best.

Football (soccer) was my life, my largest love, but at the end football and this love to football deatroyed my life.

I am almost 45 years old  still havexa beautiful wife, two nice and wonderfull kids, a house, a constant (fast) solid job, a car and much more and also huge; extremly huge debts. If i sake all i have (house, car, and similar) then i could pay back my debts, but its not realistic and its difficult to live with this de ts. Really dont know what to do and i am in very bad situation. Depression, worry, insomnia (cannt sleep) are my only friends at the moment…

Here is my story. i always liked games a d playind and at the samme time numbers, mathematic, accounting. Probably dye this reason i always liked to play games with numbers. Later i started to play games with money and gsmes that had with real money to do. But never had some kind of addiction.

At the same time i was playing football in all my life and later i became a football player. At the top of my football career i was very close to sign my first professionall fotball club from first league. And in last moment it failed. I never was professional football pkayer and shortly i left my domestic club and after that i olayed football only with friends to have a fun. 

When i was around 25 ( 20 years ago) i met a world of sports betting. I was positively surprised with this. This was very good fun for me. Of course it started as fun and it was really onky fun in first years (mmaybe first 5-6 years). I was bwtting almost daily, with small money, but this was totally nornal for me. Then i started to look on this as one kind of investment abd then started troubles, and addiction at the sane time, but i didnt saw it. 

[konj1978]

So i made sports betting each day, on all sports later and i used more and more time to find real games that will help me to make profit and earn money , and also i started to invest more and more. But i was never sucessfull. There was a lot of problems and unlucky moments and i was always so close to reach a sucess, but it never happened. Around 2008 , it means 10 years ago i started to take credits from banks. Since i didnt had any doubts before and since i have a good job, it was always very easy to take credits from banks. I was always thinking that i will finally find a way to beat a online bookmakers, but i started only to lose more and more and addiction rised extremly. Nothing worked for me and real hell came when i made full focus on live betting where i started to lose huge amounts on short time. After that, it means in last 8-10 years, my almost each day is same, gambling, betting, losing, depression, new credits, debts, and this was clear way to hell… No one knew my gsmblings problems and couldnt saw it. Its not easy because i received mobey directly from banks and made sporrs betting online. My wife knew one part of this story but she could not know how seriously is rhis actually. I was abd i am still very good to lie, to hide real story, to finf money for bettibg and of course to lose it.. Finalky 2 years ago i recognisex that i am sick of this, that i am addict and that i need real help to try to stopp with this. But at that moment i couldnt stop. My debts was so high that i couldnt say that to my wife. I was still made betting but since that moment i clearly saw that i am adfict and that all this will finish bad.. Finally, at the start of this year, 2018, i came in situation that i coukdnt take new debts. Forgot to say that in last 2-3 years i was taking new debts mainly to pay old debts, it is bagigal circle… when i really didnt had any solution or way back, i decided to say all to my wife, to stop with gambling and to visit institutions to get profffessional help to stop with betting…

My wife decided to help me and she was, and still is a great support. we found one way to pay back all debts in long term. I started with treatment at one psychologist and stoped with betting and thinking about it. After many years i was finally happy in my life again. it was like i was born again. I had so much free time each day that i couldt know what to do and how to use all this time. But i used it on my family, my wife and kids. 

everything was like a dream, until one day at the ebd of march. I was out of gambling almost three months. and one day i received email from one of my ex online bookmakers with really fantastic offer. First i closed all it, but after three days i saw it, i contacted them and was another huge error in my life, i made deposit to make spirts betting again. Really dont know what i was thinking in that moment. But all story started again. Betting each day and started to lose again. I was doing it in one month and finally i just said it to my psychologist to see and learn his reaction.Need to admit that after all i was not so satisfied with treatman i received there. I was expected much more help and more proffessional altitude.

In sonner, around July, my wife finally noticed abd realized that i started again. She was shocked this time more then she was in January. I started to lie and promised that i will stop immidiatly and that i have all under ny control.

But not, i dont have. I have now new debts again and new old problems again. Also again i dont have any solution and there is no way back. I need to admit to her all again but dont know her reaction this time. Easyly i can lose all i have after that. I want to stop again. i want to chsnge my life again. i know i am sick, i am addict, i am loser, i am bad man, i am really bad…

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[konj1978]

3 all days without gambling (sports betting).

I spent last 3 days with my family (weekend, one day in the city, another one i nature and last one on work).

I am fine and dont think so much about gambling. I am thinking only what to do to make my financial situation better.

Alse i am feelibg huge culpability due all i do in all this years.m

[finding_laura]

Dear Kon, welcome to the Forum. Could I ask you where you got the money to start gambling again? Did you take out a loan without your wife knowing? Is there a different counselor you can see? Are you able to go to a support group like gambler’s anonymous? Having someone to talk about this addiction and the urges and feelings that go with it can help. Keeping yourself busy with activities can help fill some of the time you used to spend gambling. That can help keep you out of trouble! Keep writing about your feelings here. Better to have them out. Take care,
Laura

[konj1978]

Hello,

yes, after i told everything to her in January rhis year, i transfered my all finance to her and she cobrrolled it since January (she receives my salary and pay all bills). we refinancied one part of debts. Shortly i saw that i can easy take new credits 🙁 and story started again. since i didnt had any money to pay back credits, i tok more credits both to pay prevuously and to use money for gambling.

This time when i say that to her i really dont know her reaction. Probably she will lest me, or i need to left our house and her and kids.

[konj1978]

5 full days out of betting world.

Today is a big day in my life, biggest one. I will tell again everything to my wife. It will be difficult and cant imagine her reaction.
Today we were on job, kids was in school. I sent one email to her and told that i have agsin seriously problems and that we need to talk seriously tonight after kids go to sleeping. She knows what is problem but doesnt know how much it is seriously this time. New big debts. 🙁

I can lose tonight everything i have in my life, wife and kids, house….I deserved it. I am loser..

[konj1978]

8 days off of sports betti g..

Last day was big day in my life and i said and admited all about my new gambling after i decided to stopp in january but also about nee debts that was main reason that i didnt do that before.

it was extremly difficult to explain all this. I have probably best person that coulbe be close to me and part of my life and she decided agsin to help me.

i will start again with treatmants at psychologist and at the same time on group treatman with anonyne gsmblers.

[i-did-it]

Hi Kon,
This is a hateful addiction and often takes more than one attempt to overcome – I feel you will be a great success story for several reasons .
1. You keep brushing yourself down and starting over
2. You are self aware and reflective
3. It is so obvious how much you value your wife and family’s
4. You have a supportive partner (so many don’t have this) who is not only willing you, but actively helping you to succeed .
5 . You are honest about your addiction

You have so much going for you – you will make it and you deserve to .
Well done on brushing yourself down and starting again.

[konj1978]

Almost 6 weeks without gambling. since i was gambling in 18 years (in last 10 years almost daily) i still have intense  urges and its often, also almost daily. But i am strong and want stop gambling for ever and try to change my life. In this oeriod and  first phase of this changes, next to family and work (i increased all activities at work and in family) i am trying several new hobbies to fill my life with new and healthy  activities. Its going slowly but i see changes and there is a hope. I learned one important thing at my last group therapy for this situation and this stage of this process: make plans only for one day, make small changes each day, day after day, day after day….

[Author]

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