[deile]

i actually have something seriously wrong with my head. its like subconsciously i hate myself. theres a fucking inner battle with my mind and my body! i am literally here again after writing on this forum sunday and i goes back to the casino tonight and blow a shitload of money again! and im sick of watching everone around me win when i havent in months! i know thats bitter but how i feel no point lieing! iys frustrating because i cant get out of my rut. Gamble ng is just one of many problems or addictions rather. just sick of it all. where will it all end? with me homeless. i have no control. i am weak. i have nothing good to offer and its not self pity its just plain facts. cant handle it Allen

[PeteyG]

You are strong, do not call yourself weak. You may have experienced weakness, but that does not define you. I have gotten over different addictions in the past, and at my lowest I thought I was powerless, but that was a big fat lie. Read the advice here and look for support groups, you can do it.

[kpat]

Hi there,
I wanted to answer a question you asked on my thread.
The answer is this, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I still have the desire to go to the casino. When things get stressful, my mind starts planning to gamble. It is as if I turned on this switch somewhere along the road. Gambling used to be a fun night out. Then it turned into an escape from my life. It became a compulsion.
This I believe is true in most addictions. Our brain has decided that the problem is the answer.
You have come here for help. And there is help here. I was very sick and tired of breaking promises to myself. I think that is what you are saying too.
I had to realise that barriers put in place is the first step in getting my head back in order.
First be honest, if I was really honest, I wish I could gamble without all the negative consequences. I can’t. I have proven this over and over. Go to the GA site and take the 20 question test. I was shocked by how many of them applied to me.
Put someone in charge of your money. If you want it to stay your money and it not belong to the casino, this is smart. You absolutely have to act when you are at your low point, because, if your brain is jacked up like mine was, as soon as you see a break or have an opportunity, you could be off again.
This addiction is beatable. It is maneageble, it is not all controlling. You can control it. But you have to start.
I believe this with all my heart and I am adding you to my prayer list. There is a reason that GA talks so much about a higher power. When we can’t, God can. Just ask.

[female g]

This is the right place for you and all of us trying to get rid of addictions in our lives. So Welcome. It is a progressive addiction and it latches on to us before we ever realize that we have been swallowed up by it We become lost, confused, broke and depressed. That is usually what brings us here to begin with.
There are ways to stop yourself even when you know you can’t stop by yourself. First cut up credit cards and debit cards. Put blockers on the computer if you gamble on line and bann yourself from the casinos. Call your bank and have your withdrawal amount to 0000. That way if you do relapse you can’t access any cash while there. Can you trust your partner to learn while you are leaning to help you a long. When a mother father brother sister wife or grown child understand the addiction there is less chance for you to manipulate them. There is a family and friend site here too.These are a few things you can do right now. I have come to believe that CG’s are never going to win any real cash because it would only be part of the money we spend given back. There is no real winning for us. When we win a small amount we just put it all back anyway. FG

[Author]

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