[Lynsey545]

I have woken up suicidal, hated my life, thought my children deserved a better parent. I had hidden in machines, found comfort in gambling for too long. I have won and I have lost so much more. Yesterday I decided I didn’t want to gamble again. Today I woke up with a new found optimism, I logged into this community and intend to use it as a tool. I am holding myself accountable and this is my day one. I hope thathat I have the strength, I owe it to my family and myself. Any tips for staying away, I’m an addict through and through and am aware I need to replace the addiction.. any one try exercising, diet and healthy lifestyle and get results. My brain needs the reward from something … hope to get some good tips.. Thanks 🙂

[stilltime]

Welcome, you can do it. What kind of gambling are you addicted to? Physical location or online?

[Pea]

I am so glad you found this place. Its the first step, admitting we have a problem . Gambling sucks the life out of us. Your children wont be better off without you, believe me i have thought the same. As someone who has lost someone to suicide it puts so much mental torture on the ones left behind.
They live with it for the rest of their life. Thinking is their something they could have done. What a memory to have for them.
Things will change as the days get further away from gambling. Im on day 2 I’m not an expert, i am an expert in trying however and relapsing and getting back up.
What i have learnt is this: Put blocks on place. If you gamble on line block the sites. If you gamble at a casino check out the laws for self exclusion, you can ban yourself from places depending on where you are.
Carry limited cash with you only enough for the day.
Cut up cards so you cant as easily access the ATM machine.
Maybe attend gamblers anonymous, there is also counselling.
Keep coming back here. Journal, read.
When you get the urge, try to delay it. I will wait half hour etc, before i can go, get busy and then keep doing that delaying.
Once i start i cant stop with gambling. If i win i put it back in, so thats not a win. If i lose i chase it. Its all loss. Gambling brings no win. It only brings you to the point you are at now and worse if it continues. There is help available. Throw everything at this addiction. Believe me i know how bad it is. Stop now. Use everything you can against it. its very very sneaky.

Pea

[Lynsey545]

In response to the first question, my downfall is vlt machines, I live in Saskatchewan where we have them in every single restaurant and bar. There is no getting away over than completely staying out of all pubs bars and restaurants with the machines in them. I find that I play out of boredom, habit, and to escape the real world. I find happiness in chasing that win. I’m looking for other outlets where I can experience the same rewards minus the gambling aspect.
Secondly, I am not suicidal, in fact it’s quite the opposite.. the addict in my pushed aside the horrific guilt feelings in order to Continue with my addiction. I have felt that way in the past but this is different, this is a quest for a better more fulfilling life. I think I’m just finally ready to admit defeat and move forward.
I have been a drug addiction, kicked it. After I lost my husband I drank for two years straight, kicked that too, this is one of the last and most destructive vices to go,, so I am optimistic that I will succeed, yet at the same time terrified that I will fail.

[Pea]

Well done Lynsey, sorry i misinterpreted from your previous post. I am glad you are ok.
I cannot ban everywhere here either due to the laws here. I have even written to government about it with no success.
For those of us who cant exclude we need to find other methods to stop. GA, counselling, limited money etc. Im only on day 2 not lecturing, just saying through experience of the yo yo gambling life what it has been for me.
You can do this. When the time is right we will stop

Pea

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