[Claire Swift]

Hello everyone,

I am a 43 year old married mother with 2 young children, I am a smart intelligent girl when I comes to most things, most things except gambling!
I have been a compulsive gambler for over 20 years, lost more money than I care to imagine but still I go back for more! I bet on horses and sports betting to me it’s the thrill of the win. The past 3 nights I have had 3 x $1000 accumalators going, every single one just missed out on me winning thousands which leaves me feeling sick to the pit of my stomach, I nearly beat the bookie but just missed out by a point!! Even if I had won the money it would have gone straight back onto another bet because that is the vicious circle isn’t it!
Why is it I struggle to pay $60 for a new pair of shoes yet think absolutely nothing of putting a $1000 bet on? Even I can’t understand the way my mind works! I know this is an illness and it’s one I have tried so many times to quit! What makes things even more upsetting is we have been fighting for compensation for my husband for 3 years! We won and were able to pay off our credit cards and loans ( my gambling debts) and what’s left is slowly fritttering away! The odd bet here and there won’t put a dent in it.. wrong! This is making me ILL!! I want to stop so badly for my children and my husband, I think about gambling all day and can’t wait to get my next fix it’s horrendous! I have just banned myself from all remaining websites I’m with which Is a start! My husband doesn’t know what to do he doesn’t truly understand how bad things are, he gets angry when I spend our money but I’m manipulating and Convince him I’ll win us lots and sometimes I do but it just goes straight back on. I hate the person I have become and that gambling has made me. I am struggling to find work where we are and have too much time on my hands, I get bored and turn to gambling to give me that bit of excitement I so desperately need! I hope I can get some tips from you all and support when I feel the urge to gamble. I just want to be a good person and mother and wife and best this habit once and for all.

[finding_laura]

Welcome to the forum

Reading and writing here is a good way to fill in time! Much better than placing bets for a Compulsive Gambler.

I have been where you are. Totally unable to control myself and my urges to bet. The story may be slightly different but it is always the same in the end.

I was wasting money hand over fist that I was borrowing at high interest rates all the while playing like I had a great handle on our finances. I was within one inch of filing for bankruptcy and possibly losing my home. And my husband had no idea it was that bad. He told me later he definitely had suspicions but he didn’t really know how bad. Wanted to know when i was going to tell him, when the bankers were at the door of the house?

Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do to stop. Sometimes we have to ask others for help because we have shown ourselves over and over that we really can’t be trusted with the money.

Would it be possible for your husband to look after the finances for a while? What about locking away some of that money into an account YOU can’t access without his signature too? When I first stopped, I had to ask my accountant mother to monitor my bank account and spending. I had to provide all receipts and was only allowed access to money for groceries and gas. I was a 39 year old married woman. I felt terrible for what I had done to my family and I was willing to do anything to straighten things out. My husband wasn’t good with numbers etc, so that mean finding someone to make ME accountable.

Are there any GA meetings near you? Having that face to face support can be a life line.

Try looking at the groups here as well. I’m sure others will also have suggestions and you will find many others by reading the forum.

On a side note, I hope that is a fake name you are using or you may wish to have it changed!

take care,
Laura

[Jonny123987]

Good job on seeking support for your problem. Do you really want to quit? I ask this seriously… I came on here a few times in my early days of thinking about quitting but I wasn’t ready yet. Saying you want to quit and quitting are two different things. I also gambled for over 20 years and talked about it for a long time.

[作者]

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