[imran_d]

I am 32 married and 3 kids. I earn around £2550/month, all my salary goes out on debt loans, mortgage, bills. I have £25000 savings but because I’ve gambled all my money away I need the £25000 to use for 3 years, for kids, car insuranc etc etc. I have a minimum of 3 years for most of my debt to clear (not all but most) I’m not sure how I will make this £25,000 last. I cannot take any more loans or credit cards out. Please help me stop gambling I don’t know why do do anymore! I feel like crying and doing something stupid but only thing stopping me is my kids but I’ve done very bad by them and my wife (who doesn’t know and I can’t tell her or she will leave me who can blame her!?) please help me someone anyone everyone I don’t know what I will do

[i-did-it]

Hi Imran.
First thing is to stop gambling . When u do your brain will clear and you will be able to see a real way through your problems. If u are in the uk thee are charities that can help u sort out your debts so the repayment s are manageable .

Where do u gamble ? Can u get a blocker for your computer and phone.? Canu self ban from the casino or bookies . You really need to do whatever u need to stop you gambling . Put barriers in place – you need to stop money , time or access.
Could u cut up your cards and ask your wife to take a set amount out and give u an allowance . Then u can’t spend money on gambling .

Whatever u decide – u need to speak to someone about debt . Step change is one charity which can help .

You can stop u know . People do all the time . U will too.

Well done on reaching out for help! And no don’t do anything silly – it’s a bit of debt – u have a lifetime to sort it

[imran_d]

Hi i-did-it, I have a fixed rate mortgage coming to a end in around 3/3.5 years roughly same time as most of my debts end. So the last thing I want to do is to have a DMP or IVA. Like I mentioned I have approx £26,000 savings which I will never touch for gambling, but in your guys opinions would this be enough for me to survive 3 years? I really don’t want to damage my credit rating as wh remortgage time comes I’ll be doomed. I haven’t gambled today but I’m now constantly worried how I will make this work. Any advice would be appreciate thanks

[vera]

Hi Imran.
Welcome to GT.
A wife and three children are “expensive commodities” but people can manage to live very frugal and simple lives if we separate our needs from our wants.
Life should not be about survival only. I think, when people (children included) learn to enjoy simple pleasures we fall into a state of peace and joy beyond our wildest dreams. Gambling aside, today’s society is caught up in consumerism to a degree that promotes greed, instant gratification and insatiable restlessness. Gambling is a symptom of that mindset.
My suggestion would be to sit down with your wife and lay out a 3 year budget plan that is manageable and suited to your needs not wants. Children need happy parent, not material things. Of course their basic needs will be included in your plan but with your salary and your savings, I would have GREAT hope for your “survival”….provided of course you don’t gamble.
The suggestion I offer you works for me. One day at a time.
Best wishes in recovery.

[charles]

Hi Imran, well done on looking for help.

Can you survive for 3 years on that money plus your income? I don’t know, no here really can tell you either. You could get that free advice from the Citizens Advice bureau or StepCahnge, at least you can look at your options then.

If it means three years living frugally then that will be hard. What reason will you give your wife for that frugality? Trying to keep debts hidden, or having to live like a hermit to clear them has sent many people back to gambling.

Whatever your decisions financially the important thing is that you want to stop gambling. Read the otehr stories here, what things are helping others? What barriers can you put in place? What support can you use?

Keep posting and let us know the steps that you are starting to take.

[imran_d]

Hi guys thanks a lot for replying. I know I will not gamble now knowing that I’ve got roughly £25000-£26000 to make do for 3 years maybe 3.5 years. I would’ve easily applied for a IVA or a DMP if it wasn’t for my fixed rate mortgage. I think I probably will survive and if I’m coming to the end of my teacher with funds I will have to spill all to my mum (rather than my wife) and make sure it stays between me and my mother and maybe she can help, but right now I wouldn’t want to stress her. Regarding gambling I will not gamble because I know if I lose (which I probably will) I won’t survive at all and out of the best my wife has took a £10k loan for me (this includes in the £26k) but I’ve said mortgage and bills and loans take my wages so we have £26k to survive for 3 years. We are not big time spenders anyway and according to her she’s cool with it and said plenty but to me im stressing and feel really sick to the stomach I’m not sure if this is because I’ve lost a lot of money or I’m genuinely worried about survival – I was also contemplating maybe after 2/3 years when most of the debt is paid maybe I could apply for additional borrowing? I’m not too worried about borrowing if I can afford it which right. Ow I can but don’t have the surplus if you like. I’m so confused as to why I’m stressing maybe because I’ve lost the money or. It sure if it’s because I won’t survive? This is driving me nuts.

[charles]

A question for you.

“I will not gamble again”

How many times have you said that to yourself in the past?

Now 20 Questions for you…

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions

Keep posting and let us know how many “yeses” you score.

[imran_d]

Hi Charles I answered 11 yes’s. guess that makes me a compulsive gambler but this time around when I say I’m not gambling I utterly mean it from the bottom of my heart and this is not because I’m choosing to it’s because I literally cannot afford to anymore (as mentioned above) – guys I need help with this sick feeling and stress I have. I had roughly the same amount of money before I gambled it all away but only reason I have the same amount again is because my wife took a loan out and I got approved on 2 credit cards (0% money transfers) – this made my balance to what it was. That’s why now what I earn all goes out to pay these debts, mortgage and bills. My wife currently doesn’t work but is seeking to work maybe it’ll help once she finds a job. But this feeling I have not sure if it’s because I’ve lost a lot of money or because I’m worried how I’ll survive.

[作者]

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