[extremist]

Hey!

Listen up here and I’ll appreciate if you can give some advices. I am a 25-year student who is doing his exchange semester in another country somewhere in Europe. I’ve been betting on sports games for a year, and I’m literally saying I’ve never won. Never! 

I started gambling to get some extra money, because I was going to the US for a temporary summer-job and I had to pay for the consulting company. So, my story began here. I started with small stakes of course. I won and lost, then won and lost… But whenever I’ve lost, I deposited in higher amounts. Because I was thinking that I was going to win that time for sure. I was saying “this is your last chance, you’ll win. It’s so easy to win. Just bet 5 games every day and in the long run you’ll make profit.” I’ve never bet 5 games in a day(it was more than 5) and I’ve never made profit till this time. In my mind, I had a plan and I was saying to myself “Always stick to the plan! “. But I don’t know how I couldn’t stick on the plan. Not at all! 

At those times I was working part-time and luckily I was earning to cover my expenses and bet loses. But time went by, and I lost more and more. Sometimes I was asking money from my parents by telling some lies. The consulting company was pushing me to buy my flight to the US. Thanks to my uncle, I got my tickets with his help. And I was kinda lucky during those times to get back at least more than half of my losses. So, I withdrew some money and went to the US. I had great time in there and never bet during summer. I earned great amount of money also, which was not good for me (I understand now). I turned back from the US with 5-digit amount of money. Before I came back to my home, I was planning to bet with this money and earn more. That was my plan. Because at that time, I was thinking that I knew how to play this game. I knew my mistakes and my weaknesses. If I work on them, why wouldn’t I make money from gambling?? 

With all this money, I started betting like crazy. Day and night, betting was in every minute of my daily life. I was betting during classes, when walking, when having party, when eating.. I was crazy! Every time I lost, I put more money. I was like running in a circle. I’ve never made profit! I am not even in equilibrium. I lost! I lost! I lost! I lost all the money I earned during last summer. I lost all the money that comes from my family as a support. 

Every time I lost, the next time I lost better. The next time better than all…

And now, here somewhere in Europe sitting in my room, alone and desperate. It’s just been 2 months since I came here. I carried enough money for my exchange semester here. I got paid by government. I got some money from my parents. Some leftovers of my savings as well. That amount was pretty enough for whole 4 months. But at the very beginning of the semester, I opened bank account, registered already for a few European betting companies. And started losing again. I’ve lost all the money I have. Last week I asked my parents to send 150 euros because it was expensive here and I told them that I paid all my dormitory rent and need some backup money. That was a freaking lie. I bet all that money again. I sticked to the plan this time actually. But, looks like that’s not good enough. I lost all! And now I’m trying to sell some stuffs I have, like my tablet, my phone.. Luckily my deposit payment for the dormitory is covering this month but still I need to pay for two more months if I keep living here. I’m not saying other expenses like food and stuff.. 

Yes, I am in such a position that may end in any way. I am thinking leaving school and hitting the road around until my return flight (June 27) comes. I am thinking begging on the streets. I am even thinking suicide sometimes.. But one thing that I don’t think is, asking for help from my parents or friends. It’s so embarrassing. No one knows this situation by the way. And I am sick of eating pasta every day. 

I really don’t know what to do now. I hope someone buys my stuffs and I got some money. Otherwise… 

You’ve just read how I messed up in one year. I am 25 years old and I am a big failure. 

[velvet]

Hello Extremist and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[handful]

Hey

Wow I relate a lot to your story! I am also 25 years old and I lost my money in a similar way to you, through sport betting. At first I felt so stupid and bad about myself, thinking how I could mess up my life this badly. I mean don’t get me wrong I still feel this way, but nowhere near as badly as then.

What you’ve got to remember is that you are still young, you still have time to make this money back (by working hard, not betting). You have to just think of this as a very expensive lesson in life, be grateful that you have time to learn from this.

You need to put blocks in place to stop any temptations to bet again, as you said you never win! You don’t ever want to feel this sad or desperate again, so don’t allow yourself to bet again.

I know it’s super embarrassing to tell anyone. I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but I just started to feel SO bad about my whole situation so I eventually told both my parents. Honestly it was such a huge weight off my shoulders, they didn’t judge and have supported me ever since. I haven’t told any friends, and not sure I ever will personally, but I do think it’s important to tell/talk to somebody about it, they will help you.

I know you feel so lost right now, but it will get better!

[Steev]

You have a problem with gambling. It is an addiction, a behavioural problem but that does not make you a failure. You DO need to talk to someone. I know you feel embarrassed to do this, but I don’t know anyone who has beaten this addiction on their own.
In the first place call a suicide prevention line if you are having thoughts about that again. It will probably be the Samaritans or Befrienders. Second – if you are in school, they will probably have a counselling service that you can access – possibly on an emergency basis. Do not just walk away from your education – talk to someone there, that is what they are there for, to deal with the struggles that some people have whilst they are learning. Third – you need to come clean with your parents – they will be worried about you, especially if you leave school with no means of support.

Also see if there is a support group in your area – such as Gambler’s Anonymous – there is a link on this site to the international website. They will advise on blocking yourself from gambling sites from the country you are in.

You didn’t gamble when you were in the US, so you know you can stop. All you need to learn is how to stay stopped.

Try and get a change from pasta – I know when I was gambling I was only eating baked beans – but I think that is more a British thing! I wish you well.

[extremist]

Thank you velvet for this warm welcome.

@handful, thank you man. I myself know it will all get better sooner or later. But being in that process sucks. You know already. Now the problem is not betting, but find a way out of the ruins of betting.

@Steev, thank you. We have support unite at school. I may talk to them soon. But, first person will be my landlord. I’ll tell her that I can’t afford this room anymore.. I’ll look for if there is any local group around here as well. Thanks.

[Author]

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