[Makingachange]

So today begins my journey to rid myself of gambling, I’ll try and go into as much detail as possible and explain my situation.

I like many others here has a problem with gambling. It’s something I’ve been out of control of for a while now and whilst I have done short stints before, today was the final straw and phycologically I decided that was enough and that I wanted to seek help.

My name is Harry & I live and work in London. I come from a priveleged background going to private school from the ages of 7-18. I have a good job working in the city on the back of a degree and a masters degree from a prestigious Russell Group University. (The reason I have mentioned my upbringing is I want to expell the taboo that less afluent individuals or those with less of an education are more prone to gambling, unfortunately this isn’t the case as I am an example of someone who has been given every opportunity and in the face of overwhelming knowledge of the pitfalls of gambling continues to do so).

I began gambling at school around the age of 16, it was harmless, prehaps £10/£20 win or loss every now and then, but it was the ease and access which made it difficult. To a 16 year old £50 was a lot of money so if I could make £20 from gambling this was a great result. I think the sticking point really comes at the age of around 17, I was walking back to my house with a friend and we went to Coral. We sat investing £25 each into the roulette machine playing a simple Black/Red strategy, we both left with £200 each… It was too easy. Prehaps if that day we had lost all out money I’d not be in the position I am now, one of desperation and disapointment.

Fast forward 7 years and I am 24 years old, coming up 25, as I said I work in the city on a generous salary although nothing fantastic. I am looking to move in with my girlfriend soon and she knows nothing about any of this as on the outside I am who I always am. However I sense a change in myself when I gamble, I am snappy and aggressive, not physically but mentally, and I have a sense that I must go again.

Anyway to cut a long story short over the last few days I have gambled away nearly £2,000 leaving ‘just’ £1,500 in my bank account (I say ‘just’ as I realise that many have gone to the brink but thankfully I saw sense before it was too late to lose my final £1,500). I had £10,000 12 months ago and I would love to get to that level again.

Today I lost £620, I was up at first, then down, then more down, then only £300 down, then of course I cancelled my withdrawal and lost it all. I put £150 on a spin of roulettee, didn’t even come close.

The trigger was when I was doing this and I genuinelly didn’t care if I won or lost, the excitement and tantalising thrill of the lights and sounds had disapeared. I could have cashed that £150 out but for all I cared I needed to rid myself of it, because once it was gone I could take the next step…. This next step.

This is day 0 of my journey to redemption. I am going to kick this sickening and unforgiving habit. I am going to throw my everything at it and I’d like to detail it on this journal for the support of others, to show that together we can all make a positive change.

A lot more will come out about me and my story over the coming days/weeks/months but hopefully right now the message from this post is loud and clear.

I am going to give up gambling for good. Be that a £5 scratchcard, £50 football bet or even a wager with a friend. I am going to do this for myself, for my health and for my future. Above all else I am going to do this to shine a light through to others who are struggling to say there is an out, there are options and you are not alone in this fight.

If anyone has any questions I’d love to hear from any of you and support you whilst you support me. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to documenting my progress!

Harry

[lorraine]

Hi welcome ,nice to meet you,i have had a zillion day zeros.
But for every day zeros you have ahead ,please always remember ,there is no set limit or in anyway shape or form to many day zeros .
Just always remember to keep trying and always come back.
I would like to add this ,seek out a bit of outside help,eg.counsling .
Doing this on our own is well really really tricky.
Hope your journey into recovery is full of future good memories.

[Makingachange]

Early start today and mind instinctively was drawn to the football today. Lots of sport on so going to have to find distractions! Will be a long day but appreciate the support.

[velvet]

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Hello Harry and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hello Harry
First of I would like to dispel for you the thought that maybe this site believes that only the less affluent and less educated find themselves owning the addiction to gamble, our eclectic membership knows that this addiction crosses all social boundaries.
Today is the day that you have chosen as Day 1 and is therefore the only day you need to concern yourself with.
Harry – your friends, family, members of this site and most importantly ‘you’ cannot know which leap into a gamble-free world will lead to a true recovery, so why not make it today? There are no rules that say relapses have to occur; true recoveries exist, I know I have seen them and they are very, very special. Make your mind up Harry that today is the day you will not be distracted by sport. Engage with friends and family who do not like football, avoid sports programmes and do something else that pleases you. Do you have hobbies that are not gambling related – if so use them – go swimming; play table-tennis; meet with friends for coffee; go running,d o anything but throw your money away to for the sake of an addiction that you neither asked for not wanted. Do you have on-the-ground support you can turn to?
I hope to read later that today Harry made it through and proved to himself that he can do it because I know he can.
I wish you well
Velvet

[Makingachange]

Thanks guys appreciate the comments and yeah today is going to be day 1 of the change. I’m feelin positive and know I can avoid gambling. I’ve planned out a day, off to see some friends this morning then to the driving range with my girlfriend then this evening either dinner or relax, either way no time and I’m going to make sure instead clear. Day 1 leads to say whatever I want, and I’m bigger than this! Thanks guys

[Reddy7]

Hi Harry,
This is a post I will be following to aid my situation. Probably due to the fact that I too have come from a good background and had the option to go to private school etc etc (I chose not to as my friends were not.)

I look forward to reading what you write in the future. I try to keep busy after my loss of £1200 in a night but it still messes with my mind even a month on today.
Let’s make sure we both don’t go back in to the trap and over time we will be the real winners.

Best wishes mate

[Makingachange]

Hi guys, thanks for all the support.

Just a quick update, I’ve made it through day one! Kept myself really busy and although my mind wandered it wasn’t terrible and I kept on the straight and narrow today. A lot of football tomorrow and my team Chelsea are playing so I’ll have to be strong.

Read a few articles today about saving money and also about FBOT’s, I’m so happy with the decision I’ve made for my life and I can’t wait for more days like today, free from the clutches of gambling. I hope the itch to have one more spin fades soon.

I’ll be posting every day so all your comments of support are great!

[vera]

Well done Harry.
We don’t need to give up gambling forever.
Just for today!

[Makingachange]

So today has gotten off in an odd way.

I haven’t gambled anything since let’s say 9pm Friday, and to be honest I haven’t yet had the gripping temptation to just pop into the bookies on the way back. I have a job I do sometimes at the weekend tutoring, it pays well and today I’ll have £150 cash in my hand leaving the building. I have to walk past 2 bookies on the way back…. If I could tell you the number of times that’s been my first stop after tutoring and I’ve lost every penny…. It makes the job pointless really doesn’t it. Well not today. Today that money is going straight into savings because I’m not a gambler any more.

I had some weird dreams last night about a roulette wheel spinning and playing roulette, isn’t it funny how those dreams are always about winning and never about the crushing feel of a big loss. I lost £620 on Friday but the £150 I’ll get today feels like such a huge sum to me whereas that £600 at the time was just like ‘oh well’.

Thanks for everyone’s support and I’ll drop a message later this evening when I’m back and hopefully clean for another day.

[Makingachange]

Today has been a really tough day.

Again I woke up thinking about gambling, I walked past 6 bookies on the way to and from work today, 4 William Hills on one road, surely that’s not acceptable. Anyway I’ve stayed strong and I haven’t had a bet yet. I had £13 in my pocket after buying some food earlier and normally I’d nip into the bookies and try and turn it into £500. Naturally I never would and that food would always cost me £20 instead of £7!

Football tonight has made me want to gamble but I’m not watching it and instead concentrating on other stuff.

Been tough but am sticking with it. Don’t want to fall back into the trap but a long way to go yet!

[vera]

Can you self exclude from the six bookies when you walk past them tomorrow?
That will «soften your cough» and deprive them of YOUR money.
You’re doing well!

[Makingachange]

Today has been tough, I really want to put a bet on this evening. Since last Friday and losing £600 I’ve been really good but I have that itch for the champions league.

Will push through though as I know it’s for the best!

This is so tough!

[lauwtjee1]

Hey harry,

Did you watch the champions league? I hope you could push through the best thing I know from my experiences is that self exluding is the best option you could do. I also use K9 web protection. It is really good software and it is free and it filters the webpages about gambling. you can only visit them if you fill in the password. best thing to do is to make a password that you can never guess again. go to encipher.it and press the blue button and fill in something random like afjaldkfjlfjsafnlvjweiwo and press the blue button again and you will have a password that you will never crack again press the copy button and use that as your administrator password for K9 and restart your pc.

with that you can never acces gambling sites online and you don’t want to acces them ever again. I hope this helps for you atleast it helped me

[Fritz]

Congrats on starting a new life, Makingachange! It’s a huge step, and one that you should be proud of. I thought I would point you to a book called «The Easy Way to Stop Gambling» by Allen Carr. Please give it a try, in addition to the other great suggestions. No, I do not make any commission for pushing this book. I just think it is a huge help in understanding and defeating gambling. I am an engineer, so I think logically. The book may work better for some personalities than others I guess, but for me, it really clicked and was a huge contributor to me being gamble free for just over a year now.

My other suggestion is in addition to the blocks suggested above, get someone you trust to handle your money for a while, if that is at all possible. This disease will mess with your mind so badly that it is really just best to take the pressure off of yourself for a while. Just take a weekly allowance, the bare minimum for expenses you have. I resisted this for a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, and a lot of grief and despair. I did not want to stoop to that level because «I could handle it». I couldn’t. I had to check my ego at the door to the house of recovery.

GA is great, both to listen to other experiences and also to vent your own thoughts and feelings.

After some time goes by, the urges and dreams will grow farther apart.

All the best to you as you embark on your journey of recovery.

[HP]

Hi Harry,

stick with it, im in basically the exact same position as you! I decided just before Christmas to stop the stupid gambling. I was on a massive downward spiral, losing thousands at a time – some times 5k plus on 1 day. I have had urges since but have resisted! keep your mind busy doing other things and when you do get an urge remember how crap you felt when you last lost!

all the best mate,

H

[Muallif]

Xabarlar