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So here goes, I write to you on my 3rd day of being gamble free. I am now 22 years old and have been gambling online since the day I turned 18. Though my posistion is not the worst out there, and although my resulting debts may not be as large as others, I feel like sharing stories can benefit us all.
I wouldnt consider myself as a gambling addict, more a problem gambler.
As with many of us, it all started with cheeky £5’s here and there on sports betting on different football results, and as is common in most stories I have read, I got that first big win that dragged me into a position which I would find myself in for the next 4 years. £550 I think my win was after a last minute stoke city winner on a saturday afternoon in the pub with my friends made me hungry for more. That feeling, one I do not need to explain to you.
I was only in college at the time I didnt have a job i’d get maybe £20 a week pocket money off my parents, I would say I spent £5 of it a week on sports betting.
I got older, I got a part time job and with more money came more online accounts. Signing up offers, free bets, it was all such a great thing for me. The cheeky spin of a roulette wheel every now and again would never hurt nobody, or so i thought. I finished college, got my A levels and moved away to study Law at University. A poor student living on his own. I feel like this is where my gambling problems started to gather. I would bet my weekly food shopping in hope of winning more, so i could go out with friends. It was gambling for money, not for fun. I graduated and started my first full time job this time last year after working at the local tesco during my studies, I’d spend £100-150 of a £600 a month wage on online gambling, whether that be roulette, sports betting. I’d spend the rest of the month being skint, tell myself it was the last time i’d do it but once payday came round the same happened again, and again. I got myself involved with payday loans and entered the vicious cycle of borrowing more to see myself through until next month, as i had payed out so much the present.
I turned 21 in October 2017 and got quite abit of money from my family, nothing to much, we are not a rich family, i probably got about £600 off family and friends. It was around this time when I had my first realisation of how serious this was getting, and what I have seen other people describe as a “gambling rage”. I put £20 in a roulette wheel and got my winnings to about £150.00 I withdrew them but it stayed in my ’pending withdrawals’ something I feel should be irradicated from online gambling. I reversed the withdrawal and ended up losing it all. With sheer disbelief i deposited another £20, and another, and another and another.
Suddenley my bubble burst, i was slammed back down to earth with the realisation that every penny had gone. I went white as a ghost, felt sick as a dog and simply could not walk downstairs to face my family. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I had to make up a lie that I had accidently sent my birthday money into a 2 year fixed ISA and couldnt retrive it.
That was it, i was giving up gambling for good.
2 days later after lending money off a friend i was back on the roulette wheel and £500 was in my account, happy days, i was back level.
Again, its the big wins that keep u coming back, you go in search of a bigger one.
My new years resolution that year was to quit gambling for good, i had planned a trip to London for me and my girlfriend early January after my student loan dropped into my account. I was out for dinner with my family on a saturday night, 5 days into january gamble free. I got home, my student loan came in at 12am, and the worst gambling experience of my life occured. I think it was £1400 that came into my account, i had put about £40 in and got it up to £300.00, withdrew, and there it sat in my pending withdrawals. I tried to get to sleep but kept getting urges for just one more spin.
*Enters Gambling rage*
*Exits Gambling rage*
£300 Pending withdrawal gone, £700 money in bank gone, after getting back up to £750 and losing it again.
I couldnnt tell you how i felt, i was doing all of this whilst my girlfriend was fast asleep next to me. i looked at her and just thought why cant i just be normal like you. i spent the remainder of the night applying for loans, getting rejected on them all and found myself on the verge of the end. Since the i have still continued to gamble, self excluding, re opening accounts on and off, taking out payday loans etc.
I have had to enter a DMP (debt management plan) as a result. The self pitty is too much sometimes, I look at other people and how they dont gamble and wish i never got involved. My friends have full wages to themselves and i pay out so much all because of this gambling problem.
I took the decision of speaking about my issue on a live chat on a website i found on google. There are many websites that offer this service, you can talk, in confidence about your issues and they help you with the way you feel and offer you resolutions. I was made aware of the website GAMSTOP which self excludes you from every single online gambling website, for a period of your choice, I bit the bullet and went for 5 years. And so, for the last time ever. I gave up gambling.
I plan to add a daily update on how i am getting along, any urges i have, how i avoid them. If you are still reading then i thankyou with all of my heart for listening to my story.
Gambling is an addiction and together we can come out the otherside, a happier, wealthier person.
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Well done for getting through 3 days gambling free. It sounds as if it has been a close call at times though. I found I had to avoid anything to do with betting, including ending friendships based on gambling. The addiction is really tricky to deal with and I needed good support from people who had been there. Good that you are finding Gamstop effective, but if you persist you will find ways around it – so if you get an urge call someone. Consider a local group GA or similar. I wish you well.
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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hey iQuit, yes indeed it was a good game. I actually had an urge somewhere near half time to bet on there being a red card. The ref was stressed out or smth and yellows were flying everywhere. Then someone messaged me; i was messaging 3 ppl during the game about the action. I forgot about the idea. Then pogba saw red. But yeah whatever, winning would have sucked me in. I just need to protect the cash i have!
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One day at a time. The days soon turn to weeks, months, years.
Your whole life is ahead.
Don’t waste it gambling. -
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Reading your story you sound exactly like me. I’m 23 though.. My birthday To is in October .. it all started for me on my 21st birthday. Your right the big wins will have you coming back for more thinking time and time again you can do it. I started on Roulette then got caught up in sportsbetting bad. I was even making 5k bets on a roulette spin at one point to the point I lost everything. I can’t ***** how many times greed destroyed me. Even when I would win something significant I would give it all back. I truly lost the value for money. Yesterday I lost $500 and I declared it was the last $500 I lost to this vicious cycle. You win TODAY you lose FOREVER! It’s day 1 for me bud I To am joining you on this journey. WE CAN DO IT
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Well done on supporting the winning team and well done on being 16 days gf.
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If it takes a couple of months to rid yourself of a bad habit you’re almost half way there. I made one week and lapsed but am trying for two this time. I wish all of the best for all put ggerd fighting this beast on their backs
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I also wanted to share my little story.
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nIt all started a year ago when I decided to try and spend a couple of pounds on betting. The money was small, and the games brought me excitement and pleasure. Sometimes I won, which gave even more confidence to play more.
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nIt was just fun for me, but I decided to register on https://www.gamstop.co.uk/ to prevent further attempts to gamble and spend money on it. Excited, I started looking for how to play casino without Gamstop, the search gave me many results such as https://nonstopcasino.org/not-gamstop-casinos/ and much more. After that I made small bets a couple of times and played slots.
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nBut thanks to perseverance and a clear understanding of my mental health situation, this summer I managed to completely abandon gambling, which I wish everyone.
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