Hi Jason
Well done for making that first step here. It takes a heck of a lot of courage to just write. I’d recommend a recovery diary if you’re really wanting to get this out of your life. There are other ways of conquering it but for me, I’ve found that the best way……..plus seeking some one to one help. Try anything available to you. Something will work. Confide in someone close to you. You can keep track of your progress and get support in your journey. It is good to be free of it for good. Anyway, whatever you choose, a life without gambling will always be better than a life with it…..GUARANTEED. Ensure you put some barriers in place, I make sure I have no access to cash as best I can, I know this can be difficult, I have to travel a lot and it makes me concentrate my mind.
It takes time to distance myself emotionally from gambling; all the thoughts of winning, losing, odds still running around in the mind. Its still those thoughts for me and I’ve managed about 40 days gambling free. I intend on the 21st January 2013 being the last day I ever gambled. Believe me when I say I can see some light already I gambled for 30 years without stopping !
When I think of the stupidity of my actions, I want to scream with the bitter regret and utter wasted time and what the gambling has taken from me. Yes, as others have said many time, its actually takes our souls, slowly, as if it was a friend who is always there, pretending to comfort, giving us releases of serotonin in the base of our brain, adrenaline rushes through our veins, our little supportive pal , always invisible to everyone else, but we know the comfort blanket is there, just urging us to go the bookies, log on, hit the casino, press the shiny button, listen to the sound of money dropping, shiny coins everywhere, the plethora of sights hitting out retinas, lights flashing…………WOW, how we all know our own particular vices so well. That my friends is the description I give to the ‘friend’ who has been there with me for 30 years !!! Do any of us want a secret friend ???
Take inspiration from the many others here who have posted after stopping for some time, relating their tales
One thing that helps me a LOT is this:
Think of how you would feel if they banned gambling worldwide tomorrow; think about how you would live & what you would do with your day. It is about getting to THAT PLACE in your mind, as if gambling didn’t really exist. Imagine there was no place you could actually place a bet, think of those ***** you’ve desperately wanted to gamble, but it was impossible because you could not access a gaming facility/place was closed/internet was broken/lack of funds – We CGs have all experienced these………………………….Use those thoughts !!!
Time to start living…………………………. ….for every single one of us. Its up to our ACTIONS now !! Today, I will not gamble. Hope you stop too.
Stick around.
All the best
Ed