[Peter S.]

Anyone out there think of all the money that they have wasted over the years, and what they could have bought? Anyone out there blame God for their loses instead of themselves? Anyone tell God if you just get me out of this, I promise not to gamble again?
Anyone out there in such a deep depression over the money they have lost, and know that you will never get it back? Its been 35 years of gambling online, casinos, horses, dogs, you name it, and I have bet on it.

My house needs a new roof, and my car is 13 years old, but yet I still manage to fund the local casino, and make sure they are all well fed and clothed. They must see me coming, and say to themselves what a idiot. It started when I was only 15. My dad would take me to the race track. However, I can’t blame my father. He would always tell me it was just for fun. At most he would lose $30 or $40 dollars. My thought was, well if you bet more you can win so much more. However, it never worked that way. I always lost more. I look back and think about all the things I could have bought. I look back and think how dumb I have been year after year after year. How do I get myself out of this massive depression?
How do I turn my life around now, when I couldn’t do it for the past 35 years?

Thanks for listening.

[Raynor98k]

Hi Peter,

I have thought about the amount of money I have lost in the past. While I do not have an exact estimate, I believe it to be between 150-300k. The exact amount doesn’t matter, but what does matter is that I understand that I was not meant to keep that money in my current state. I do not think about the ”what ifs” because my destiny was not meant to have that money at that given time. I see it as a lesson about my own thinking and behaviors, and if you look at it as a life lesson for you individually, then I believe it is easier to swallow.

Money comes and goes. Poor become wealthy and wealthy become poor overnight. It happens all the time. It’s funny, I play the lottery on a regular basis, and I am actually thankful that I have not won in the past. I know if I did, those lessons would hurt a lot more. I am thankful for everything I have. I am thankful that I get to walk outside and see the beautiful day in the morning. I am thankful for my mom and my wonderful girlfriend. I am thankful for my health. I am also thankful for this forum and the people in it. Everyone is fighting their own battles, but we all have some common ground.

I actually had an inheritance of 50k last year, and I will say that money did not last long (not all to gambling, but a nice portion). It was from my grandma, and she was my world. Always supported me, always loved me. While I am a little frustrated about bad decisions with the money, I look at it as a lesson. I was not meant to have that money. Even if I did, I would trade it in a heart beat to have lunch with my grandma one more time.

The point is, once you set some goals and values for yourself, you start to appreciate things in life a little more. I was really bad with money, and a compulsive liar (it was easier to lie then tell the truth). I decided as a value, I was going to be true to myself. Every decision I make from now on, I do not act on impulse, but talk to myself and am honest. There is no reason to lie to myself. I think that is what a lot of the people on here have come to terms with. They are done fooling themselves and want change. That, to me, shows that they care about themselves, and they know they are good people. No one on here is bad. We have done dumb things in the past, but who hasn’t? Just know that your decisions and actions that you have made in the past is not a reflection of your true self. Your brain was high jacked, but your heart never left, which is why we’re here.

Final thought: money comes and goes. At the end of the day, it’s just numbers. You can earn back every cent you lost if you wanted to. I want to, and I am planning to. Life isn’t about making money, it’s about being grateful for things you have, and enjoying the experiences. If you try to make the world a better place, you are making the most of your time, and that is the most important thing to me. Take care

–Nick

[Jonas87]

Hello Peter and welcome, it’s great to have you on board.

I agree that the hardest part of quitting gambling is to mentally accept all the losses, but at the same time it is the only way to heal from this sick mess. Once you take that mental step to just suck it up, accept the losses as part of your present life, and doing mentally everything you can to not gamble, you are on your way to healing.
I am currently trying to do that myself, before I ruin my whole life. As a guy who was 11k ahead couple of weeks ago to currently being in a small debt (Im an idiot I know), I really have to turn my life around before I lose all the things valuable to me.

Best of luck on your journey to healing and please write as often as you feel like.

[i-did-it]

Hi Peter
It is hard to accept the loss of the money – so we chase it with more money – and all of us on here have found the same thing – we have all found that even if we win it back we lose it again .
We cannot hold onto winnings and usually once we lose them we chase again thinking we can do it again .

As others have said accepting the loss , accepting that the money is gone , drawing a line in the sand and stepping over leaving losses on the other side is the only way to recover from this.
Lik e Nick has said many people lose everything through no fault of their own- we really aren’t any worse off than them.
We are starting again after many years but we still have time to earn and save .
Debts can be paid off slowly with a good repayment plan .
We can all get there – it is better to get there late than keep gambling away out chances of financial security .

Keep strong Peter. And well done on seeking help!

[Peter S.]

Thank you

[Peter S.]

Thank you

[Peter S.]

Thank you

[lizbeth4]

Hi Peter. You will get to the point where you can forgive yourself for the losses and move forward. It takes time! I’ve promised myself time and time again that I wouldn’t gamble but this last time really affected me in a good way. I believe it’s my last gambling episode. I’ve blamed God and others but now realize it’s all me. I was introduced to gambling on the horses by my Parents. Then when I turned 21, they took me to Las Vegas. That was the start of the madness. 39 years later I’m finally getting it. You can stop Now! Banning, barriers with money will help. Coming here was the first step. It’s a good start. Keep posting and stay strong. Anything is possible if we want it bad enough!

[Peter S.]

Thank you. So many times I tried to stop. How embarrassing that a man of my age is still so stupid.

[velvet]

Hello Peter and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[i-did-it]

Peter – you are not stupid – you are addicted.
If we were stupid we could not have sustained this lifestyle for very long .
I think it is important that you understand that becoming addicted is not your fault .
It is something which has been imposed on us.
Many people gamble and never become addicted .

I felt that once we see this addiction as something we should not feel guilty for having- once we truly understand that this is not our fault – once we accept our brains are just wired differently than people who are not addicted to gambling- then we understand that we have to take precautions to protect ourselves from this addiction.

We need to protect ourselves – we need to take every step possible to stop this destroying us completely .

People have different afflictions in life – this is ours .
People manage and survive all sorts of things – we can manage and survive this .

We deserve a good life Peter – and we will have it – we just need to manage this one horrible illness life has thrown at us .

Keep strong Peter .

[velvet]

Hi Peter
I have wasted far too many sleepless nights over ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ because they changed nothing
Letting go of old thinking is part of accepting there is a different way forward. Promise nothing to anybody and without fanfare take a leap of faith, use all the support you can get and quietly determine that just for today you will not gamble.
The CG in my life actively gambled for at least 25 years until 11 years ago when he realised he was responsible for being the person he didn’t like or want to be. He changed his life by taking just one day at a time. He will always be a CG but he controls his actions and lives happily without the daily feeling of failure that comes from the gambling addiction. He now has a roof over his head and clothes that belong to him; his car is a bit more modern than yours but he loves it; He eats well and laughs a lot.
I wouldn’t be writing to you Peter if I believed for a minute that you could not have the gamble-free life you crave and it doesn’t matter how many years have gone before, there are better ones ahead, if you determine that that just for today you will not gamble.
I know I am over-simplifying the courage it takes to face the addiction demon and you would have every right to think that I can’t understand but I am fortunate to have seen and heard of many CGs who have changed their lives in the past 11 years. What I have constantly been amazed about is the sheer joy that comes from winning the fight – lives can be and are, more special for the things that are learned along the way of recovery. It cannot happen overnight; it isn’t easy, it takes a lot of patience; but it is worth the effort and this forum, Helpline and groups will walk with you all the way.
Use all the support that you can, use this thread as a journal to watch your progress – it’s the next 35 years that matters and it only has to start with ‘today’.
Velvet

[lizbeth4]

Peter, You are not stupid! You have a addiction. Tell yourself that this is the day that you stop gambling! Find other things to do. Help yourself by putting up barriers to make it harder to gamble. You deserve to be happy. Gambling doesn’t make us happy. I want the rest of my life to be happy and peaceful. You can have that too. There are online chat groups here that are very helpful. I’ve gone to GA meetings. Find support! Stay strong and keep posting.

[lizbeth4]

PS: During my last gambling episode, I looked around. No one was smiling. The mood, atmosphere of the casino was sad. I sat there wondering how many people were spending money they couldn’t afford to lose? It made me sad. I don’t want to feel like that again!

[Peter S.]

Gambling free 1 week.

[Peter S.]

Thank you

[Peter S.]

Thank you

[Peter S.]

Many times I would go into the casino, and pray for the people, and myself. Maybe I thought if I pray for them God would help me win. Many times I could see just like you, the sorrow. I could see the older people on oxygen tanks while they smoked a cigarette, and hope and pray that I don’t turn out like that.

[Peter S.]

I think back at how many times I was outside the casino on my cell phone trying to get my credit card companies to increase my credit limit so I could gamble more. Just an insane circle of debt and stupidity. I pray that I don’t go back. I’m afraid if I do, one of these times I won’t be able to bounce back, I’ll just fall, and be another number on some suicide stat sheet. Each time its harder and harder to bounce back.

[slapshot16]

First step is admitting the problem my friend. It takes some big kahunas in order to talk about problems in your life. Just keep coming on here…

Everytime you think about throwing a bet down or pulling a lever, say to yourself, ”Gambling is a trap, even if I win, I lose, think of your losses.” If you can, come on here and vent about the situation your are going through, I have been gamble free 5 days, have been connecting with people and actually doing other stuff with my life again. You can do it too. I find repeating these words and using this forum to have helped. Even just reading what others have gone through makes me realize its a big deal. If you haven’t already, scroll through some posts and read what other people have posted. See their situations and use it to fuel your drive to quit. You can do this.

[problemgambler99]

Hey Peter,

I to have thought of all the things I could have bought with the money Ive gambled. I think of these things especially after I lose all my money. Even though its cliched I have to say though THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THE PAST. The money is lost. The pain has happened. there is no recouping the losses. Whenever I lose I think to my self ”Maybe I can go back and win what I lost back”. Always a bad idea. Since the past is set in stone all we can focus on is making ourselves better people for our future. The past is finished by our story isnt. Ypu can change how your story goes. You got this man.

[Peter S.]

Thank you

[Peter S.]

Thank you

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