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Hi
I am a 28 year old mum of 3 gorgeous kids and I have been married to my wonderful husband for a year now. I have a good part time job and a good income. I have lovely friends and a nice house in country setting. Oh yeah and I m a CG!
It started via online bingo sites, harmless fun at the time (or so I thought). I soon got bored waiting inbetween bingo games and was lurred in by the shiny, colourful slots with big jackpots. I had a few biggish wins and guess thats what got me hooked. I think it is only within the last few months I have realised that gambling is a problem and has taken over my life. This has crept up on me, I never realised how bad things were. I eat sleep and breath gambling. I hate admitting this, I don’t class myself as an unintelligent person, this is a weird disease. Thats the point I think, realising it is a disease and I am not in control of it. I decided yesterday that I am going to start being in control of it though. I need to stop now before things get bad. I have lost money and in debt but I haven’t lost my family and I never even want to get near that point.
Yesterday I joined this site and thank god I did. I joined in a few group therapy sessions and everyone was so nice and straight with me. It gave me the strength to start this fight. I self excluded permanently from my main gambling website. This left me pretty anxious, I had to do it quick and my heart was actually racing whilst doing it! This morning is the first morning I haven’t logged into that site for a long time. I am here writing this instead!
So here goes the first day of my recovery and a "normal" life, my last gamble was on 26/08/2010 and today is my first day clear of gambling, my husband has just been paid so there is money in the bank, but I know I have the strength to do this and on the days I don’t I know there are plenty of people here to give it to me. -
***** Mai and a warm welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone with the gambling problems you describe.
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
I see that you have already made use of the support groups and seem to have found them helpful in kickstarting your recovery, the ***** of all the groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule. We also have a continuous weekend chat facility.
For one to one chat you may also want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when this or when any of the other options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment can help to navigate the site and find on-going support, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.
Kind regards
TimTaking life one day at a time as always. -
***** Mai,
I only have a quick moment to say welcome to the forum. I’m so glad that you have found this place. Gambling addiction can ***** so much from us and from our children without our even realizing it at first. Here you will be able to find what will work for you for your recovery. Good job banning from your site!!! Is your husband aware that it has become a problem for you? If I would have told my husband sooner i would have saved myself so much grief and destruction. But I did end up telling him in the end. My best advice to you is to never give up and keep coming to this site. There is always something else we can do to make recovery work. And thank heavens for this place of advice, sharing and support.
Take care and congratulations on starting your journey.
Laura -
Hi Mai and welcome. It was good to chat to you in group and great to now see you posting. Well done on the steps you ahve already taken. keep posting.
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Hi Mai
I am glad you have come here. It shows you want to arrest the beast that is compulsive gambling. You can do it by using the support here and GA.. there is weekend long chat too so if you feel like popping in someone is usually there or not far off logging on. It is so worth the battle to come here. I am excited today as i have just got through a marathon week of urges but the one thing i kept telling myself is that they pass.. and they did. It feels so much better to be gamble free and after the days add up the feeling just gets better. Keep posting and nice to meet you here
P – Living and Learning -
just moving you to front page, hehe
P – Living and Learning -
Originally posted by mai
… So here goes the first day of my recovery and a "normal" life, my last gamble was on 26/08/2010 and today is my first day clear of gambling, my husband has just been paid so there is money in the bank, but I know I have the strength to do this and on the days I don’t I know there are plenty of people here to give it to me.Good evening Mai,
We have already met in the Group Therapy Session but I will welcome you again to GT with my Gamblers Anonymous type introduction; Hi, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009.
Your story is much the same as all the others here, we have all succumbed to the overpowering addiction of compulsive gambling; we have all been through what you have been through and have hurt our loved ones – you are not alone. And while this addiction is a chronic disease that is progressive and lasts a lifetime; the good news is that combating it works, and recovery can also last a lifetime. However, it requires work and actions to not only start on the road to recovery, but to maintain living in recovery.
You have started the taking action part with your banning and you resolve to seek help to add to your own strength. Now, take another step and search for strength from a Higher Power that is in you or is available to you. I am not trying to preach to you but am letting you know that many, if not most, that are succeeding in recovery have found that the principles of GA work, they have " Came to believe that a Power greater than themselves could restore them to a normal way of thinking and living" and have "Made a decision to turn their will and lives over to the care of that Power". Use your Higher Power, use us, use all the help that you can find.
Before posting to you I read two post from other members that have gambled again, one from a new member that tried his "luck" again after a few days of being gambling free, and the other from an older member that has been struggling and decided that after months of being gambling free that he would through in the towel and try to "get it out of his system". You will find many storied similar to these in addition to the story about those who are overcoming their addictions; I can only hope that your future stories are ones of staying gambling free, even when they tell about the struggles, and not about going out and trying one last time to hit the jackpot or relieve an urge or satisfy a wild hair. The outcome of a CG trying these things is aways the same; it leads to more devastation and falling deeper into the addiction.
God’s speed. Stay strong.
Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free. -
Originally posted by mai
… So here goes the first day of my recovery and a "normal" life, my last gamble was on 26/08/2010 and today is my first day clear of gambling, my husband has just been paid so there is money in the bank, but I know I have the strength to do this and on the days I don’t I know there are plenty of people here to give it to me.Good evening Mai,
We have already met in the Group Therapy Session but I will welcome you again to GT with my Gamblers Anonymous type introduction; Hi, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009.
Your story is much the same as all the others here, we have all succumbed to the overpowering addiction of compulsive gambling; we have all been through what you have been through and have hurt our loved ones – you are not alone. And while this addiction is a chronic disease that is progressive and lasts a lifetime; the good news is that combating it works, and recovery can also last a lifetime. However, it requires work and actions to not only start on the road to recovery, but to maintain living in recovery.
You have started the taking action part with your banning and you resolve to seek help to add to your own strength. Now, take another step and search for strength from a Higher Power that is in you or is available to you. I am not trying to preach to you but am letting you know that many, if not most, that are succeeding in recovery have found that the principles of GA work, they have " Came to believe that a Power greater than themselves could restore them to a normal way of thinking and living" and have "Made a decision to turn their will and lives over to the care of that Power". Use your Higher Power, use us, use all the help that you can find.
Before posting to you I read two post from other members that have gambled again, one from a new member that tried his "luck" again after a few days of being gambling free, and the other from an older member that has been struggling and decided that after months of being gambling free that he would through in the towel and try to "get it out of his system". You will find many storied similar to these in addition to the story about those who are overcoming their addictions; I can only hope that your future stories are ones of staying gambling free, even when they tell about the struggles, and not about going out and trying one last time to hit the jackpot or relieve an urge or satisfy a wild hair. The outcome of a CG trying these things is aways the same; it leads to more devastation and falling deeper into the addiction.
God’s speed. Stay strong.
Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free. -
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Hi Mai
Only got to see you for a minute on chat but I am glad you are here, I was disconnected and having problems getting on the site but remember you now from posting to you before.. you can so this Mai.. Keep trying and dont give up no matter how many tries it takes.. I started coming here a year ago and in that year have had some great gamble free time, some slip ups on the way but over all have improved greatly.. you can too, just keep coming back and posting and reading, when you get an urge know that it will pass.
P – Living and Learning -
Originally posted by mai
Quite obviously I cannot do this! At least not as easily as I had thought. …
Good morning Mai,
I see you closed your post on a positive note; I also see a positive note in the opening of this post; "I cannot do this! At least not as easily as I had thought", these few added words to your story of gambling again shows that you can do this. And yes, it is not that easy; the "Do Not Gamble For Anything" is easy to say, and in truth is easy to do until an urge takes over.
It is good that you recognize and accept the fact that it is not easy at this early stage; hopefully you will carry this knowledge with you throughout your recovery and not fall into the trap of becoming complacent, thinking that you no longer need to work at it. This may be advice for the future, but, the future starts today; use all that you learn.
Your forthcoming start in the Gamcare counselling sessions will help you find ways to be stronger and overcome the urges that brought you down this week, use what you learn there also; like you say, make the most of it and work harder. And in the meantime, before you start that part of your recovery, and even afterward, keep coming back here and using the help that you will find. Stay strong. Keep aware.
God’s speed.Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free.
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