[Marta85]

Hi Guys, I don’t know where to start maybe that I’m a selfish person, a liar, betrayed my own family, I’m a bad person pretending to be good all because of gambling.

I started going to bingo at first and it was fun and all that. Then I discovered fruit machines, and then online casinos.

It all started almost 6 years ago when I was pregnant. Me and my partner had a good life, no problem with money, so we went to enjoy ourselves (playing bingo once a week). We really treated this as a fun activity. We only played bingo and sometimes fruit machines.

After a few months I started looking for online casinos and this is where it all started. Spend £50 and won £300 so I thought easy money right? But no, not really. I won the money and what happened? Next day I went and spend it all.
I spend my wages and his month after month.
He kept saying to me “That’s it. You can’t do this anymore”. But this was only words. I needed his help, his support but he was more interested in playing poker and drinking. We both had a problem. I tried to fight with it but I just couldn’t do it on my own. I gave up.
We argued, we blamed each other for what happened, we needed this to stop. We split up but we where in love so much.

I thought maybe this is it. I started looking after myself, looking after my son. I was getting fit again, Gym 4 times a week, healthy food and all that. But I still gambled, not as much as I used to. And I still do.

After a year of us splitting up we decided That we want to be together because we love each other, we apologise. He promised me that he is free from gambling and I believe him. He got his mum involved (she is looking after his money in the bank) and she also find out about me gambling his money away. Very embarrassing.

They don’t know that I still gamble, little money not much but I still do.
I really want this to stop but I just don’t know how.
I want to be able to live like normal people do, I want this addiction to go away. What do I do? Please give me some advice.

[Monica1]

Dear Marta,
Firstly you are not a bad person and you are not alone. You did not ask for this addiction. It starts innocently enough as it did with me and bingo and then online slots. Harmless fun becomes funless harm. Left unchecked this addiction takes us to very dark places and is progressive. It will take us to rock bottom and hopefully things have not yet got the Well done on making the decision to want to stop. You Have to really mean that and want it. Firstly, have you self excluded from the sites you play at? Secondly, it is virtually impossible to give up this addiction without support and help. GA for me has been very helpful and provides hope. Also, like your partner, do you have anyone you can hand your money over to manage for you. As your partner has made the decision to stop, it will very difficult for him in the relationship if you re actively gambling. Gambling when it becomes out of control is very detructive but there is a way out of it and there are many success stories in here of recovery. This forum has some very helpful folks on it who will be able to provide you with advice. Keep posting and good luck.

[Jonny123987]

I agree with Monica… You need to first come clean and be honest with them. You then have to turn over finances to his mom or your family if that is an option. You need to self exclude yourself from all your websites. You then need gamble block on your devises. And the most important thing…. You need to come to terms with gambling and that you do really want to stop. If you are only stoping because he wants you too or your embarrassed that most likely won’t be enough. Gambling has a very strong hold over people… You either confront it whole heartedly or it will beat you down. Quitting gambling is a job in itself. It requires self control, work, empathy, honesty, and time. You said you are a bad person…. I don’t really know you but you don’t sound all that bad… you sound like someone who likes to gamble but is seeing the detriments of it. I will say this… If you continue to gamble it will most likely have an impact on your relationship with your kid. It will affect your husband and his mom and everyone else in your life. You will continue to live a life of lies and spending money you don’t have…
From one problem gambling addicted person to someone seeking advise…. Just stop. Forgive yourself and let it go…. You will never win any money gambling. It will only hurt you and everyone you love. Be well and take it one day at a time. baby steps…

[velvet]

Hello Marta and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[p]

How are things? What is happening for you today?
Give us an update when you can

P

[Jonny123987]

She be gone…. in the wind…

[Marta85]

For your comment and advice.
Yes I have self excluded from the sites I play.
I don’t think I’m brave enough to go to the GA meetings. Unfortunately I don’t have anyone I can hand my money over to manage for me.

[Marta85]

I really do want to stop. I’ll speak to my partner about this, I’m scared. I know I have to do this for my son sake and his and his family. I don’t want to lose them! I have to stop and I will! Exactly, baby steps..

[Marta85]

6 days gamble free! I’m so happy! I’m very determined to beat this!

I hate gambling and for what it’s done to me I hate this even more! I began to understand what gambling addiction is! It destroys everything in your life! Family, health, relationship, money! We can loose everything!

I’ve been very busy (planning my son birthday party, working, organising my cupboards at home, etc.) trying to forget all about gambling. 6 days ago I decided to put away my laptop and iPad. I still had my phone, it was a temptation but I said to myself NO!
Everyday when the thought about gambling crosses my mind I say NO to gambling! The thought of loosing my family over this addiction makes me stronger because I don’t want to lose them!
Guys thank you for your advice and support.
I have so much to look forward to.

[Marta85]

I’m here. 6 days gamble free!

[i-did-it]

Hi Marta
6 days is absolutely fabulous .
Well done !
I put a betfilter blocker on my phone which takes the temptation away completely — u might find it useful .
Great u are looking forward to your son’s birthday party .
Enjoy

[finding_laura]

Welcome to the forum Marta!

well done on the steps you’ve taken so far. IDI’s advice about a gambling blocker for you phone is a good idea! It has helped lots of people overcome. If you can’t get to GA right now keep posting and reading here. It is a reminder of where it will take you. Have you talked to anyone here at the help desk? They might have some other counselling options for you in your area. You are right, it can take everything from you including your freedom, your sanity and your life! Stay strong,
Laura

[Jonny123987]

7 days now? Great work Marta! Did you talk to your partner? Keep on rocking the no gambling lifestyle!

[finding_laura]

How are things going Marta? Hope you are still with us! If not, I hope you find the courage to come back and post.
Laura

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