Bettie!
As I read through your post something struck me, but not for the first time. It’s this!
You seem to tie up your worth B, with "being part of someone’s life" and having "someone special" in your life. As children,I think we are conditioned to believe that we need to be loved. The fairytale where the princess meets her prince or kisses the ugly frog to "turn him into" a handsome man. Women were placed in a position where we were convinced we had to " get a man" , "stand by your man" and " give him all you’ve got" in order to have a happy life. I’m learned that this conditioning is false!…Let’s think about the reality of B! Does your happiness depend on "having a man"???? NO! Is every married woman happy??? I’d say not! Can any man make you happy forever and if he does for a while, are you on tender hooks ( because of your distorted self -worth), waiting for him to find out your weakness or discover the real you??? What if he leaves? Or dies? What becomes of your self worth then??
I think most women, especially the beautiful, intellegent, funny and maybe a bit rtund gals live in this false hope….and we look in the wrong places ..
The reality B, is that NOBODY has the power to make you SAD.. or HAPPY for that matter and it is only when we look inwards for our TRUE worth that the answers will come. And in that inner stillness we will come to know our worth and we will see where it comes from. We will realise that our relationship status, i.e. married/single is irrelevent. The One Who loves us with an evelasting love is the One who knows your true worth B. Only He can show us our true worth and when we betray Him, we also betray ourselves. In the priest’s sermon today, he said the things of earth not only tie us to earth but can also lead us to hell if we abuse those earthly gifts. I do believe that because addiction, I have no doubt is a fast track to damnation unless we turn back and change our ways!
Think about it B and your whole outlook on life will change.
The last things you need in your life are.. selfish men, gambling and cigarettes!
Do some "inner work" and you ll be surprised of what will be revealed to you!
Tomorrow is a new day!
