Hello Giorgio and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

Hi Georgio,
This is a horrible illness and it can make us so low .
I hope you ge tlot did support on here .
Georgio if you could talk to your parents about this I am sure they would help – we all want our children to be happy and would do anything to ensure their happiness .

Once gambling becomes addictive for us we never win because we are never able to hold onto the cash. We all on here recognise having a big win but still being unable to stop.

You could maybe put a gambling blocker in your computer – that would help . I have betfilter on my phone .

Stay with this site and you will get lots of help .

You have to totally accept that the money is gone . Thinking about it leads to relapses because we think we can win it back. Would a parttime job be something you would consider? You could earn back that money you lost .
Is there A gamblers anonymous meeting near to you? You will get to meet others who have created huge messes but have now turned their lives around.

Well done on your gamble free time . You can do this

Being a recent sign up here, the only advice i can give is……..dont look back as you cant change that, put your energy into the future where YOU can influence. Keep posting your thoughts here, in the short space of time, i really think its helped me….even if you have nothing really to post.

Read peoples stories, what you may not see in yourself, you will recognise in others

take care, you are only young and have time on your side to fix this

DCH

Hi Giorgio and welcome to the forum.

I don’t have to tell you that this addiction robs us of more than our money. It takes our honesty, good moral character, good relationships, interest in anything else, and not just our money.

You are so young to be dealing with this addiction but it is good that you are seeking help now. Before you gamble a lot of your families money. We find ways to beg and borrow and connive.

I know you are feeling shame and guilt and embarrassment. But you did not ask for this addiction. You didn’t say ” I want to wake up one day and be a gambling addict”. Sometimes it can be a hard thing for family to understand. But having the help of your loved ones can be a major turning point. It’s like we can’t trust our own selves. So while we get help to deal with our addiction it is good for those we love to be protected from us, and, they can help you protect yourself by not just giving you money any time you ask. Think about it. Mom Dad, I have a problem. A bit of fun has turned into an addiction and I want to deal with it now before I do something else i regret.

Is there any counseling or support through your school? Maybe look into some professional support.

Deep breath Giorgio! Keep reading and posting. How r you doing today?

Laura

Hi Giorgio

Hope you are well. And this addiction is certainly a Terrible affliction and I am sorry you have this.

Good that you have recognised this and need help. It is very hard to get do this all by yourself.

I tried and failed and nearly ended up dead with suicide attempts.

My family saved me in my darkest hours and also many people on This site have been a glad resource.

Read my story and you will see you can easily recover and there is certainly a way ahead for you.

https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en/first-post

Tell your family everything and that you need thier help. I am sute they will be there for you.

Let us know how you get on.
Thanks, kind regards, Paul

Hi Giorgio.

Your online bookmakers should offer self-exclusion as an option. If you seriously want to quit I would think this would be a great positive step for you to take.

When I was 21 I was in prison for the second time in my life…for committing crimes to fund my gambling addiction, I am 51 now.

I’m sorry to say I still carried on gambling up until I was 50, I also committed more serious crimes and went back to prison another 3 times, I have also been through gambling rehab 3 times, although I only stayed the full term, the last time, in2010.

I understand that „dirty” feeling, I had it for a good few years, but eventually, like all my other emotions and feelings, the gambling swallowed it up. I began to think of myself as evil, I would get more and more callous in the things that I done.

I can honestly say this. my life of crime started off by stealing money from my parents and look where I’ve ended up. I also started concocting stories starting with things like „I need a hundred for a book”. That doesn’t mean that it will happen to you, but it is possible.

That is why I couldn’t agree with you more…you do most certainly need help with this.

For the first time in my life Giorgio I’ve just passed a year without gambling. That is how long it’s taken me to finally stop. (In fact, that’s not strictly true as I put the lottery on three times last January, but a year without bookies, casinos, Card schools, Slots, Bingo, and online).

It has been an abysmal life Giorgio and it makes me very sad when I see young folk starting out like I did. My first thought is that of being fearful that they will go down the same route as me. But then my second thought usually is, (as it is with you), that you stand a great chance of getting yourself on the right road, just by seeking out help for yourself.

It obviously isn’t easy and the longer you gamble, the longer, (and harder), it is to quit.

You have shown great fortitude and tenacity by seeking out some help, every single CG, (Compulsive Gambler), who reads your post will have empathy with you regarding the big win and the following bigger losses. Most of us had a big win in the early days.

Some people refer to living in a fog when we are gambling, even when we aren’t physically gambling we are planning our next gamble, maybe conniving how to get more funds, or just deciding what bets to place. This is living in the gambling fog. Whatever you choose to call it there is no doubt about it gambling distorts our thoughts, our minds and our mindset it clouds our judgements and leads us to make stupid choices. You can’t see sense because of the fog.

You’ve admitted you have a problem, now, if you agree with the above paragraph you must surely agree that you are powerless against gambling. not only that but your life has become unmanageable because of it. It certainly sounds like it from what you’ve written.

Just understanding that and truly believing it is a blessing, it is also the first step on GA’s, (gamblers anonymous), twelve step programme. GA might be something you could consider.

Lots of people will say „yeah yeah I get it” but they really don’t. Because if they did, regardless of their own situation, they would lift their head out of the gambling fog and realise that gambling has taken over their life and it should be the number one priority to take whatever steps necessary to avoid gambling.

Along with the understanding that you are powerless against the gambling its only logical that there should be an understanding that this condition has no cure. It will always be the same, if you keep going back to gambling you are always going to be powerless against it.

At this early stage Giorgio, it may seem overwhelming. I would imagine that on top of feeling dirty you’re feeling generally awful. It may be hard for you to comprehend what you’ve done…but you have done it I’m afraid, not of your own free will. What sane person could spend all that gambling? I’m not saying that you’re insane Giorgio, what I am saying is there is a prime example of distorted thinking.

I’m not trying to frighten you Giorgio, but gambling is a very serious addiction, there are probably millions of addicted gamblers in the world. Many of those never experience life outside the gambling fog.

I would suggest that you take whatever steps necessary to prevent your next bet.

I-did-it has made two good suggestions, first one telling your parents. I never did they found out in an awful way. A phone call off the police to say I’d been arrested hitch hiking 200 miles away from home, I was 17. Since then they’ve received many similar phone calls from the police, and hospitals. Without a doubt I’m sure that rather than the lifetime of misery I forced upon them they would have preferred I acted like a man when I was 21 and want to them with my problem. Actions speak a lot louder than words, I would suggest you ask either of your parents to install a gambling blocker on the devices you have internet access on. Get them to register the software in their name and email address, and that they set the password.

I’ve heard too many tales of people putting the blocker on, even getting someone else to set the password but then on getting an urge to gamble just press the forgotten password button., and then just turn it off. Even with an encrypted generated password if you put the software on in your own name you are leaving the door to gambling slightly ajar. Also, if you use your phone to gamble it might be a good move to down grade it to a basic model without internet. (You can put blocking software on your phone, but in desperate times its too easy to remove it). You might think this will make you the laughing stock in front of your mates, so what if it does. A true mate will understand. They may not understand the addiction, but they will understand that you have it. Many people think it’s just a case of stopping and not just visiting those sites or venues. If it was as easy as that none of us would be here seeking support. I know different Giorgio, I know it just doesn’t seem possible to stop. You say yourself you feel like every penny you get will end up gambled. I could never truly explain the attraction of it. Before internet gambling was around it felt sometimes like a big magnet was drawing me into gambling venues or that there was somebody there with a fishing rod reeling me in, I could not explain it……I just wanted to gamble and gamble and gamble.

Through recovery Giorgio you will hopefully begin to realise that you can say no. Because if you were to say yes to it being aware you are addicted and powerless against it and that it has the potential to make your life unmanageable, you would be making a ridiculous choice.

From 1981 until 2010 I lived in the gambling fog. I’ve lived in it for long periods since then, I havn’t been back to prison since 2006, but I did continue criminal activities until about five years ago. Two years ago, I was living in a room no better than a squat and I lived on stolen food for several months. My head dipped in and out of the gambling fog until December 2016. I think my head has been out of the cloud since then, the lottery tickets this time last year maybe a swan song.

I nearly gambled last week though, the first urge I’ve had in over a year, I know if I’d have gambled I’d be back in that fog now. I found it very hard to resist, if I’d have had the urge earlier in the year maybe I wouldn’t have resisted.

To get through life without ever gambling again may seem impossible to you at the minute, getting through a week or a even a day may seem tough enough. I only ever commit to getting through today without gambling. With the exception of that one-day last week I havn’t found it too hard. It has finally sunk in to my thick head that I am completely powerless against gambling. My life has been unmanageable so many times before because of it why would it turn out different the next time? Just today Giorgio just keeping getting through today. One day at a time the days will become weeks, the weeks months, then the months years. It is possible to stop, one day at a time, just for today is all you need to commit to.

Asking this of your parents will show them, not just tell them that you want to stop.

I don’t know how well you get on with your folks maybe your Dad will suggest just throwing some money your way to pay off your debt if you have any. That is not the solution Giorgio.

Gambling is very progressive, not just by the size of bets and amounts you will lose. Every aspect of it is. For me the lengths I would go to to get gambling money got progressively more pathetic, obscene, and serious. The self-loathing and feelings of being worthlessness lead me to attempt suicide more than once. Sadly, I know of people who have committed suicide, and I know many who have attempted it all because of their gambling addiction.
I started writing this about 12 hours ago but fell asleep, (I work nights), I see you’ve had a couple of responses since and this post repeats some of what others say, please try and understand what we’re all saying.

I wish you all the best with it and hope you can find the courage to tell your folks.

All the best.

Geordie.

Geordie’s story and words are not only wise but true life events

He had so much potential at an early age that didnt and couldn’t realized be because of gambling.

We don’t want this to happen to us. It did. But with the knowledge it could destroy your life and your loved ones I believe you can stop.

What are your hobbies/interests?

Kind regards
Paul

It is a hugely important step realize that the money is gone.. Even if you were to win it back, be honest with yourself, would you stop….Probably (and most likely not). The chase is real, and it is dangerous.
Think about all the time we gamble. We hope to win…Once we start losing we hope to get even. Once we get even, we say, cool, now I can start winning. Vicious, vicious cycle. By design by the math geniuses who came up with the games. Beat them at their own game, and don’t play. You cannot lose if you don’t play.