Hi RGC,

I’m assuming that if you’ve been trying to stop for a while that you have had problems with gambling for a while. It isn’t cashing out our winnings and going home we have become addicted to it is the act of gambling, placing the bet, the thrill or the hypnotic effect which ever your poison may be. It sounds like you have crossed the imaginary line to become a compulsive gambler. Once you have this addiction, responsible or controlled gambling is never an option that will last. The only thing for a CG to do is stop gambling all together. Some ways that you can help yourself do that are: Give control of finances to another even for a while. Not having access to funds for gambling makes it easier to fight urges. Get support. Find an addictions counselor and/or a Gamblers Anonymous or other fellowship support group. Use the forums and chat room here and on other sites like UK Gamblers Anonymous. Research the addiction by reading articles, watching documentaries, using the resources on this site. I hope you are able to take this advice as this addiction will only get worse. So many of us gambled until we had nothing left. Homes, cars, families, friendships and everything really. Try and stay strong. Watch out for depression. It tends to come with the territory.
Laura

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

Hi RGC, well done on looking for help.

The nature of this addiction is that no win is big enough and we chase losses. With that combination the only option is to stop gambling. You got greedy and you lost. IF you had won then you would still be gambling……until you lost.

You have been trying to stop on your own – if we could do that then we wouldn;t have a problem in the first place. Use the support you have available; here and other sites, places like Gamblers Anonymous. There is a lot of support available these days.

The money would have been a boost for your family? Not as big a boost as stopping gambling would be. The past losses we can’t change, choosing to not place our next bet is what we can do. Talk to your family, I am sure your partner would be delighted to help you with some of the barriers you will read about in the other threads here.

Keep posting, let us know the positive steps that you are taking.

This sounds like one of my triggers… „I had it once, I can have it again”. I would think that there are bigger problems ahead, than what could have been. If you chase it , it isn’t going to turn out well. Please don’t take my word for it, look at the hundreds of pages of forums which describe exactly what you are going through. If the CG cycle wasn’t in place, the amount you were ahead, probably wouldn’t have existed, and especially that fact that it went away should scream RUN…..
Hopefully the GT forums help, it keeps my issues top of mind.
Good Luck…make the right choices

Hi RGC,

I know how you are feeling, there is little worse than having life changing amounts at your fingertips and blowing it all. I did that recently with similar amounts and it made me feel sick for the 1st few days. It’s happened a few times and that’s why I joined this site, there is nothing like it to make you realise gambling is dangerous and we aren’t very good at it! Keep strong and look forward as hard as it is.

I have recently seen studies where the „action” is where the addiction lays. The result of winning or losing doesn’t trigger the brain quite as much as the anticipation of winning or losing… This is why we don’t quit while we are ahead… I remember my own thought once when I won early on, and I told myself „good, now I can play a little longer”. It didn’t occur to me at the time what I was saying to myself, but now from the outside looking in, I can see it.
It is a scary, evil, little bastard that we all live with every day. Keep him at bay… we do have the power.

Hey RGC. I hope spending time on your own isn’t a trigger or set up to give it another go.

Aren’t your family wondering why you are spending today alone?

I hope you learn to let this go. Or you will continue to lose more and more. Enjoy what is important in life, friends and family. Not money to keep the bet going.

Laura

Your story is all too familiar, I myself have borrowed at high interests rates to win back the thousands I have lost since March this year, $60,000. To date. When I stopped gambling about 60 days ago now, the only reason I stopped was because there was no more money. That was when I was forced to confront what I had been doing. Even if I won, I would still gamble till it was all gone. Many times I said to myself, when I win big I can pay off my debts, that never happens as we know, as we return again and again, till there is nothing left.

The road to recovery can be hard, but many people on this site have or are recovering. This is also possible for you. I know from my own recent experiences that we can’t do this alone, we need support to help get us through this muddle, but this is possible.

The next step for you is to seek the support that you need to help you through this tough time, but it will pass.

Look forward in hearing about your next step on this road of recovery.

Take extra care of yourself.

Tina

Just re read your earlier entry…do you mind me asking you about this comment you made? Did you borrow or take money from someone? Please be braver and share your burden, some of us are really good problem solvers and we are not here to judge you. Do you feel you are in danger?

Thinking of you

Tina

Hi Rgc,
I hope you have come to terms with the loss.
The money you were up wasn’t real money – not in the sense that it is money for people without gambling addiction.

Firstly as someone has already pointed out you wouldn’t have got so much up if you were not addicted.
It’s the addictions which meant you placed high enough bets to win that amount.
Secondly once we are addicted we never cash out – even if we do it goes back in the next few days.
Thirdly , once we are addicted we simply cannot stop making those bets, thinking abut greater wins and getting completely lost in the fantasy world where we will help everyone after our big win.

It wasn’t a real win because we are addicted to gambling and with this addiction, as someone else said reality is staying gambling for as long as we can .

I hope you can draw a line under you losses and move on- recovery starts with accepting the things we cannot change and I guess one of those is that we are addicted to gambling .

I know it’s really horrible right now but things will get better .
Your brain will settle and life will look brighter.
Hope to read more posts from you soon.

why is it that the casino can consume you more than other forms of gambling?. I too won big then lost it all recently. the low i feel initiated me to join up today. I alos enjoy football, but when i have on the odd occasion bet on the outcomes, ive never chased it. Bingo, horses etc nothing…..only casino BJ .

i hope you are staying strong, im just at the start of my journey

Similar to me …. I don’t gamble every day … never have … it’s just lately I have these moments where I’m in control gambling … win a fair bit, then lose the lot and chase it … it actually beggars belief what you have just done when you come back round to your senses ….. I have enough savvy and sense of responsibility to get a grip, it’s just , I need to do that without a relapse …. the pain of loss soon goes ….. you build up a pool of money … then a wee trigger in your head says … why not

Because Compulsive Gamblers never win.
When we „win”, we gamble until we lose.
When we lose, we chase.
„Savvy and sense of responsibility” fly out the door when addiction comes in the window.
Nothing good ever comes from gambling.